Telling people goodbye

[UncertainA]

I've decided that I'll hang myself sometime in the next month if I don't back out. How should I tell people when the time comes??? And how can I make it hurt less for my father and brother.

Andrew

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I want to respond but can't think of what to say, and I don't want to be perceived as encouraging or discouraging in any way. But I happen to be a dad and a brother. As a dad, it would hurt the same no matter what my kid said. I guess, if they made it clear that it was in no way my fault, that they were taking full responsibility for their own path, and that they rationally thought it through carefully and decided beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was best and necessary for them, I guess that would help a little. As a brother, it would be easier to take, he could just say it was good knowing me and hope I understood.

 

[Forveleth]

Unfortunately, you can not control how other people feel. There is no way for you to temper someone else's reaction to your death. The best you could possibly do is leave a note with some information.

I have seen a lot of interviews with survivors and they all ask the same questions:
-Why did they do it?
-Why didn't they reach out for help?
-Why didn't they come talk to me?
-Was there something I could have done?

If you answer those questions in a note, it might help ease their grief a bit, but nothing can prepare anyone for the loss of a child/close family member.

 

[getoutgirl]

First of all, sorry you find yourself at that point.
I've also dealt a lot with the guilt and uncertainty of how my death would impact my loved ones, and how to minimize that pain. There are no meaningful solutions. The pain will be there and it will be inmense if you end up doing that, you probably know already.
If anything, closure does help just a bit, or rather the lack of it hurts even more cos it adds another layer of incomprehension and what ifs and whys and all that to the grief. So a letter I think would be best. Telling them you love them, being honest with the fact you are dealing badly with how this would affect them, that it was in no way their fault, and that you found peace... The comment above has good questions to answer too. It's all sad stuff but better be upfront about it. The only pain you could spare them is that of the whys, the rest of the grief would still be there.

However if you are still considering backing out, maybe a month is a bit short for figuring that out and specially if you still have doubts. Don't know your personal situation, but please try to think it trough and the reasons for which you might want to back out. Take it easy these days regardless. hugs <3