Discussion Telling Friends?

[MsMaudlin]

I nearly told my best friend this morning about my SN plans, I wanted to so much.
But once you've said it, thats it isn't it?
I have written her a letter for afterwards, but gosh, having to bite my tongue
❤

 

[theguineapigking]

Dang. I'm very sorry. I can understand how tempting that is for sure. My mom knows I'm suicidal though. But I'm sometimes tempted to tell her I plan to end it soon. I wish I could prepare my family somehow. I just have a note written not to go in the basement. As for your friend,it feels nice to not keep it all inside. But you do run the risk of her going after you trying to get you to live.


I've seen you posting a lot to help others. Well I'm here for you. If you need to talk at all,don't hesitate :)

I wish you the very best.

 

[SimplyTopHat]

I can only imagine how tempting that must have been, especially to some one who matters so much to you. I reached out just to talk loosely about ideation &I honestly regretted it almost instantly.

 

[highlyvolatile]

I too have wanted to tell a friend and my sister. I have only one who knows about my plan and she's been really encouraging like you all are (rethink my choices, i dont have to do it if i dont want to, she'll support whatever decision i make). She keeps telling me ily and she'll miss me. I feel bad for making her feel bad honestly. She's sending me earrings soon and id hate to go before i got them.

Other than her ik how hard it must be for you to not say anything about it. Im so sorry. But i hope she would be somewhat comforted by the note that you have left for her.

 

[LMLN]

It must be so hard not to say something...I'm sure you want to say goodbye.
I know it's not the same, but we are here to talk about whatever you would like. ❤

 

[MaybeSoon]

I've told a couple of friends and my partner, I tend to overshare my feelings after a few drinks. I've also told my GP but they barely battered an eyelid.

On one hand it might lessen the shock if something happens and they might appreciate that you were honest with them. On the other I worry that they will blame themselves that they couldn't do anything if I do CBT which is why it's essential for me to write a good note explaining that that isn't the case.

 

[SimplyTopHat]

I tend to overshare my feelings after a few drinks.

*raises hand way above head*
You're definitely not alone in this.


Ruined a budding relationship a few years back by over sharing to the person I was seeing's friend. (First time I ever met them).

I've also told my GP but they barely battered an eyelid.

That person sounds like a pretty crappy GP. How did it feel to tell them, even though they seemed not to care?

 

[Nem]

I told a friend after a suicide attempt and they never talked to me again. Either that's a shitty friend or a normal response I'm not sure
Peace/hugs

 

[Elias]

Friends, police, psychiatrist, if you can avoid it never be honest. Zip it or you could make it worse, for everyone including yourself. Especially yourself.

Never self-incriminate.

 

[TAW122]

I would highly advise AGAINST doing so, because by confiding in someone, your chances of intervention goes up. Humans are selfish by default and especially pro-lifers, anti-choicers and the like will want to "play hero" to save you and feel good about themselves (all about their ego and feelings). I always treat the idea of suicide, suicide ideation, planning, and what not as one of the most deepest secrets not to be revealed to others especially those who can (and will try to) intervene. It's almost like admitting to witchcraft during the witchhunts in the old days, admitting to being a homosexual back in the 1950's or so, etc. I know it is tempting and might feel like some temporary relief, but it is simply too dangerous to take the chance and risk everything you built up to go to waste/jeopardy.

 

[MaybeSoon]

*raises hand way above head*
You're definitely not alone in this.
♥

Ruined a budding relationship a few years back by over sharing to the person I was seeing's friend. (First time I ever met them).



That person sounds like a pretty crappy GP. How did it feel to tell them, even though they seemed not to care?

I was looking forward to telling them as I was expecting to be sectioned, so was pretty suprised when they didn't ask any questions about my intent or anything. They just suggested an anti depressant so I left pretty disappointed.

In hindsight I'm glad I wasn't sectioned, recently watched a Stacey Dooley program on mental health and sectioning and it looks like an absolutely horrific experience.

 

[SimplyTopHat]

I was looking forward to telling them as I was expecting to be sectioned, so was pretty suprised when they didn't ask any questions about my intent or anything. They just suggested an anti depressant so I left pretty disappointed.

I hear you, sometimes you reach for help in the moment but aren't entirely sure what you're looking for.

Can you tell me, what were your best hopes about being sectioned?

 

[oopswronglife]

It's human to want to be understood...it's entirely futile to risk it in this case. 99% of people will react poorly...and for the 1% who do not you have heaped a massive burden on them up front and created pressure to "do something" even if they are accepting of your decision. There is no good way...but the best way for everyone is to keep it to yourself. You won't feel better sharing...at least not for more than that moment...and you have added risk AND burden.

Only ever speak up if you WANT intervention...and if you do please speak up...fight for life if there is a path. But if you are done and there is no way out...all this does is send up a flare and cause people stress.

 

[Suicide_vampire]

I nearly told my best friend this morning about my SN plans, I wanted to so much.
But once you've said it, thats it isn't it?
I have written her a letter for afterwards, but gosh, having to bite my tongue
❤

I'm curious why you wanted to tell them, what was it you were hoping to achieve by telling them your plans?

 

[MaybeSoon]

I hear you, sometimes you reach for help in the moment but aren't entirely sure what you're looking for.

Can you tell me, what were your best hopes about being sectioned?

The idea of being sectioned appealed to me because it was a way to escape from my life. Sounds stupid now but at the time it was what I wanted.

 

[SimplyTopHat]

The idea of being sectioned appealed to me because it was a way to escape from my life. Sounds stupid now but at the time it was what I wanted.

There's nothing wrong with needing a break, so no- it doesn't sound stupid to me. It's your life, you do with it as feels right to you.

 

[MaybeSoon]

There's nothing wrong with needing a break, so no- it doesn't sound stupid to me. It's your life, you do with it as feels right to you.

Thanks. Hope you find peace with whatever has brought you here.

 

[Soraa]

I am tempted to tell my close ones too. The reason is so that I can better prepare them for my departure and say goodbyes. But I will only tell the ones that I'm 99% sure will understand and not try to stop me or report me. Perhaps I am being too optimistic...

 

[SimplyTopHat]

Thanks. Hope you find peace with whatever has brought you here.

Thank you. My peace is pending, but it's a work in progress. Take care.

 

[throwaway_2620]

I would highly advise AGAINST doing so, because by confiding in someone, your chances of intervention goes up. Humans are selfish by default and especially pro-lifers, anti-choicers and the like will want to "play hero" to save you and feel good about themselves (all about their ego and feelings). I always treat the idea of suicide, suicide ideation, planning, and what not as one of the most deepest secrets not to be revealed to others especially those who can (and will try to) intervene. It's almost like admitting to witchcraft during the witchhunts in the old days, admitting to being a homosexual back in the 1950's or so, etc. I know it is tempting and might feel like some temporary relief, but it is simply too dangerous to take the chance and risk everything you built up to go to waste/jeopardy.

Well said, TAW122! As someone who was involuntarily committed in the past, I naively and impulsively made the mistake of overdosing on a random combination of prescription and over the counter medications and alcohol. I was found by family members and taken to hospital where I was medically stabilized before being involuntarily committed and held in a psych ward against my will. Needless to say, I learned from my experience, which is why these days I never open up to anyone IRL (or online for that matter, with the exception of this forum) and why I meticulously did my research on this forum as well as the 8chan suicide board (before 8chan got taken down) and a few other sites so I can learn about good (meaning reliable and/or peaceful, preferably both) methods so I don't make the naive mistake of trying unreliable methods (e.g. the one that got my involuntarily committed) that are liable to fail and potentially leave you in a worse situation than before. Thankfully, I was left with no permanent damage from my attempt and these days I know better than to attempt suicide without doing my research or without knowing what I'm doing. I also read the list of warnings thread that was created by @TiredHorse.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/a-list-of-warnings.9207/

To help compile practical resources while giving a special thanks to a few members, I also created a thank you thread that doubles as a resource compilation thread.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...and-a-compilation-of-threads-resources.33574/

 

[yami9292]

Met one of my closest friends on here so... we both know that we are suicidal already but doesn't take away the fact that it makes me sad either way.

 

[Otter]

My vote is no. If I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that they were suicidal as well, I might, because I feel like they understand. But if they're a normie, and you tell them, you sort of put them on the spot. If they call for help they feel bad for ratting you out and if you CTB they feel bad. So is a lose-lose for them!

 

[s1mplem3]

Don't, just don't.

 

[W0ND3R_DOG]

I have talked to some friends about it, but I don't think I could ever tell anyone how serious I feel about ctb sometimes or if/when I would actually plan to do it

 

[MsMaudlin]

Thanks everyone, I'm not going to tell her just in case she doesn't react well.
Plus I'd hate her to think that everytime I didn't reply to messages etc I was trying to end my life that very minute.
❤

 

[autumnal]

Loose lips sink ships attempts.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I told one friend And she was actually fairly supportive. I think she has the same thoughts herself. She told me she would help me if I wanted … If it made me happy… That was really nice of her…
I might tell another friend of mine who I think is suicidal himself… His life is really fucked up… I wonder how actually suicidal he is… I'm guessing quite…