Discussion Tell me there’s somebody like me.

[nihilisticdeathtrap]

I'm obsessed with my legacy. Genuinely, I'm obsessed with the impact I leave on the world. I'm moving from rural Indiana to NYC (in about two months) and then to Los Angeles when I've established connections. I'm pursuing music and film full-time. If I find some sort of success and fanbase, and then I'll kill myself shortly after. If I don't, I'll also kill myself.

I want people that I've never known to mourn my death, I want to be important. I want to have generations of "fans" in the future when I'm long dead who read my diaries and analyze my lyrics and say how the "good ones go so soon."

I'm dying young, and I'm not spending a minute on this planet that isn't towards building up a "legacy."

My band has 8,000 monthly listeners on Spotify, but we haven't put out any ads publicly or done any touring. My bassist and drummer are coming with me - we're serious about this.

I need to be validated that I'm not alone on my constant struggle to build myself a legacy. Please.

 

[loser098]

Interesting. How'd you amount a fanbase without releasing anything?

 

[nihilisticdeathtrap]

Interesting. How'd you amount a fanbase without releasing anything?

I should have phrased that differently, lmao. We've released music, but we haven't put out any ads or actively promoted. Our following's mainly from alternative social media sites (spacehey, slink, etc).

 

[LonelyStarrySky]

Honestly I am kind of having the same problem, I am into writing, and have written short stories in the past, usually dealing around the topic of suicide when I felt depressed. I have always wanted to publish at least one book before I eventually die. I don't know it that will happen, because I might CTB before I get to writing an actual novel.

 

[Lullaby]

I think I've pretty much accepted I've wasted any potential I had, and won't be remembered by anyone.

I find it pretty admirable that you're dead set on giving your life some purpose, regardless of what happens. I wish I had that drive lmao.

I think a lot of people secretly (?) want this too.

I hope it works out for you guys, who knows what'll happen when you start promoting.. I listen to a lot of bands outside of the US, whose language I don't speak, with less listeners than your music, and they really get me through most days.

 

[angelcircuit]

I have a story, and characters, that I hold really dear to me. I'm an artist, somewhat of an animator, and I'm into game design. One of my biggest dreams was to somehow put my characters and story out there, whether it be a book, visual novel/webtoon, a youtube series (like TADC or Helluva Boss, for example), or even a game. It kills me inside knowing that I'll never be able to do it, because I've always had a problem with never finishing my projects. I can't even finish school because all I do is sit around and do nothing, so what makes me possibly think I could ever commit to something ambitious like that?

Like what Lullaby said, I've accepted that I have wasted any potential I had. I have wonderful friends that are 2D and 3D artists alike who have grown well-deserved fanbases, some of my close friends even being recognized as very popular artists who have worked on games that lots of youtubers play.

I can dream as much as I want to, but I know it's fruitless in the end. My story, my characters, all of it will die along with me.

Sorry for rambling lmfao but I really hope you guys end up very successful :) My sibling is a hardcore music fan of all kinds, especially when it comes to bands that aren't well known just yet, so who knows? I'm sure your fanbase will end up increasing in numbers soon :) Good luck

 

[Stripe19]

I'm obsessed with my legacy. Genuinely, I'm obsessed with the impact I leave on the world. I'm moving from rural Indiana to NYC (in about two months) and then to Los Angeles when I've established connections. I'm pursuing music and film full-time. If I find some sort of success and fanbase, and then I'll kill myself shortly after. If I don't, I'll also kill myself.

I want people that I've never known to mourn my death, I want to be important. I want to have generations of "fans" in the future when I'm long dead who read my diaries and analyze my lyrics and say how the "good ones go so soon."

I'm dying young, and I'm not spending a minute on this planet that isn't towards building up a "legacy."

My band has 8,000 monthly listeners on Spotify, but we haven't put out any ads publicly or done any touring. My bassist and drummer are coming with me - we're serious about this.

I need to be validated that I'm not alone on my constant struggle to build myself a legacy. Please.

Not quite relatin to the whole thing, but atleast with the bit about legacy and impact, i fully get you. I can't help but try to spread a reputation, do good and have people know it. I don't really know why it happens, but regardless, i get the feeling. Dying as just a breeze in the wind feels as wrong as "just suck it up and keep living".

 

[MiMif]

bruh wait your whole band is suicidal...i dont know what i think about that but interesting. I cant really relate however though i do want to see peoples reactions after i ctb

 

[lachrymost]

Posthumous fame is a definite fantasy for me, but at the same time the idea of people reading my work nauseates me, so I'm not sure how serious I am about it. The appeal of getting recognized after is that I won't ever know how people will react. I do lots of writing with this mindset; it's very motivating knowing I have to rush to make the most of my writing talent before I die.

 

[thedevilwithin]

definitely something i've thought about and wanted at one point. i definitely still would, but i've accepted the fact that personally i'm just useless. there's nothing special for me to leave. if you feel something, go for it. you got this!

 

[Vuxin]

Honestly im exactly the same as you, i've always wanted to leave something behind' something where others look at and wonder why I left why I did what I did or closely analyze EVERYTHING I did, I have somewhat achieved that with over 100k on youtube but im having second thoughts about ctb, I almost did in the past and it ruined my family, hurt my relationship and everyone around me but deep down its still my dream

 

[Rhizomorph1]

I want people that I've never known to mourn my death, I want to be important. I want to have generations of "fans" in the future when I'm long dead who read my diaries and analyze my lyrics and say how the "good ones go so soon."

I'm dying young, and I'm not spending a minute on this planet that isn't towards building up a "legacy."

Honestly 0 judgment but this statement aligns very closely with histrionic personality disorder. Just something to consider as a possibility.

It's a mentally ill circus on this forum and I'm not trying to label you or anything. I studied psychology and figure the insight might be useful, but only you would truly know for sure.

Hope you find what you're looking for regardless <3

As a side note I've written numerous "ending songs", a pile of poetry, and a 37+ page parting letter (manifesto?) To leave something behind so I'm probably not too different lol

 

[sobasoup]

As an artist I second this. Sometimes I think about scheduling a bunch of art pieces in advance and having them posted long after I'm gone, but not sure how to do it reliably...

 

[Photographer Fizzle]

I have a story, and characters, that I hold really dear to me. I'm an artist, somewhat of an animator, and I'm into game design. One of my biggest dreams was to somehow put my characters and story out there, whether it be a book, visual novel/webtoon, a youtube series (like TADC or Helluva Boss, for example), or even a game. It kills me inside knowing that I'll never be able to do it, because I've always had a problem with never finishing my projects. I can't even finish school because all I do is sit around and do nothing, so what makes me possibly think I could ever commit to something ambitious like that?

Like what Lullaby said, I've accepted that I have wasted any potential I had. I have wonderful friends that are 2D and 3D artists alike who have grown well-deserved fanbases, some of my close friends even being recognized as very popular artists who have worked on games that lots of youtubers play.

I can dream as much as I want to, but I know it's fruitless in the end. My story, my characters, all of it will die along with me.

Sorry for rambling lmfao but I really hope you guys end up very successful :) My sibling is a hardcore music fan of all kinds, especially when it comes to bands that aren't well known just yet, so who knows? I'm sure your fanbase will end up increasing in numbers soon :) Good luck

This is how I feel. I chose to focus on improvimg my art by reading books and watching videos and studying. But I still suck, and I have no desire to work on anything (my case a comic/graphic novel). My chracters will die with me unless my best friend to whom I plan to leave the keys to my disorganized mess of a Google Drive finds something worthwhile in it and then gets it published.

 

[Ovid]

Yeah I relate to this. There are people like you, I'd love to have a life like that - have an insane hot streak and then crash out and die.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

You're not alone, but you are among the few that would actually go balls to the wall and do it. Kudos!

 

[26mmmm]

I'm obsessed with my legacy. Genuinely, I'm obsessed with the impact I leave on the world. I'm moving from rural Indiana to NYC (in about two months) and then to Los Angeles when I've established connections. I'm pursuing music and film full-time. If I find some sort of success and fanbase, and then I'll kill myself shortly after. If I don't, I'll also kill myself.

I want people that I've never known to mourn my death, I want to be important. I want to have generations of "fans" in the future when I'm long dead who read my diaries and analyze my lyrics and say how the "good ones go so soon."

I'm dying young, and I'm not spending a minute on this planet that isn't towards building up a "legacy."

My band has 8,000 monthly listeners on Spotify, but we haven't put out any ads publicly or done any touring. My bassist and drummer are coming with me - we're serious about this.

I need to be validated that I'm not alone on my constant struggle to build myself a legacy. Please.

I do want to leave a legacy but to a lesser extent.
Even with suicide I could leave some type of legacy by teaching people around me a lesson.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I can't tell if this is serious or not. Literally the majority of the world are like you in this regard. Most of the pro lifers out there are the same as you in the sense that they want to leave a legacy behind and other bullshit that makes me want to vomit when I think about it

 

[BadChanges]

lol so many people here relate to that craziness..? I'm quite shocked.