Tell me something good: SN chronicles

[damaged_soul]

Weirdly, I'm really getting a lot more afraid than I anticipated. I also keep reading bad stuff on here about the SN method that I hope is not true. From suffocating in my saliva to gagging so loud I'll sounded like a dying cat which may cause the hotel to hear me. And finally, the darkness and nothingness. I respect everyone's wishes beyond this life but total darkness and/or nothingness freak me out.

Tell me something good about the SN method today, please? Restore my resolve to do it without fear. I know a few undercover lifers will continue to terrify me with their comments but I'm hoping a few can say something good about the method

Don't worry about the darkness and nothingness, it will just be like going to sleep. Do you worry about "darkness and nothingness" every night when you go to sleep? If not, then why worry about it when dying? If anything, it will be even better than sleep because you won't get nightmares. Also, what's 15 mins of slight discomfort for an eternity of bliss?
In all seriousness though, I totally empathize with your fears. I too am very scared of killing myself and it's one of the main reasons I haven't managed to do it yet. Maybe you could come up with a strategic date or something to give you accountability? I attempted on New Year's Eve, thinking that if I fucked up, I would be much less likely to get saved since the nurses and doctors would be extra busy with drunk patients. Because I knew New Year's Eve was my only opportunity to take advantage of this, I forced myself to attempt. The urgency of it kind of numbed the anxious part of my brain and put me in a hyperfocused, productive state -- I methodically went through my ctb checklist, almost as if I was going through a studying checklist for an exam. I don't know if that would work again though. At this point I'm just hoping that D comes back so that I can get N. Getting N will probably be a lot less scary than SN. In either case, I'll be sure to have a playlist of my favorite songs ready, as that will probably distract me from fear or pain while I ctb. I'll try to make the experience as pleasant as possible.

 

[again_noidea]

Many people have succeeded with SN so of course it's a reliable method. Death is not something to be scared of as we simply cease to exist. There is nothing to fear as we wont be there. Fear is an emotion only experienced by the living and not the dead. Non existence is the absence of absolutely everything and in death there is no more suffering, no more problems, instead there's just peaceful eternal sleep.

No one knows what happens after death or what happens before. the "fact" that you can't remember what was before you were dat doesn't proof anything, since you "forget" a lot every night, but you wake up and keep on lifing, even though you don't remember. Also, most of us do not remember anything about our first years of life. But yes, i agree, the consciousness that we have no will disappear, but the question is, if we are that what we experience right now.

 

[ojinzo]

Don't worry about the darkness and nothingness, it will just be like going to sleep. Do you worry about "darkness and nothingness" every night when you go to sleep? If not, then why worry about it when dying? If anything, it will be even better than sleep because you won't get nightmares. Also, what's 15 mins of slight discomfort for an eternity of bliss?
In all seriousness though, I totally empathize with your fears. I too am very scared of killing myself and it's one of the main reasons I haven't managed to do it yet. Maybe you could come up with a strategic date or something to give you accountability? I attempted on New Year's Eve, thinking that if I fucked up, I would be much less likely to get saved since the nurses and doctors would be extra busy with drunk patients. Because I knew New Year's Eve was my only opportunity to take advantage of this, I forced myself to attempt. The urgency of it kind of numbed the anxious part of my brain and put me in a hyperfocused, productive state -- I methodically went through my ctb checklist, almost as if I was going through a studying checklist for an exam. I don't know if that would work again though. At this point I'm just hoping that D comes back so that I can get N. Getting N will probably be a lot less scary than SN. In either case, I'll be sure to have a playlist of my favorite songs ready, as that will probably distract me from fear or pain while I ctb. I'll try to make the experience as pleasant as possible.

If you're in the US don't buy n from d. Customs will get it. Happened to me and I'm five hundred dollars in the hole because of it. Also, thank you for replying directly to my post and not going on some random tangent like others have (so annoying). Honestly, I never liked the sn method because it's too many variable factors/outcomes. However, after not receiving the n I paid good money for, this is my alternative. Although, I'm starting to lean back towards partial. Unconsciousness is a lot quicker.

 

[damaged_soul]

If you're in the US don't buy n from d. Customs will get it. Happened to me and I'm five hundred dollars in the hole because of it. Also, thank you for replying directly to my post and not going on some random tangent like others have (so annoying). Honestly, I never liked the sn method because it's too many variable factors/outcomes. However, after not receiving the n I paid good money for, this is my alternative. Although, I'm starting to lean back towards partial. Unconsciousness is a lot quicker.

I'm so sorry you got scammed out of your money!!! As far as I know, when and if D comes back, it will be with a new address or something which will supposedly prevent customs from getting it. At this point, I am so desperate for N that I wouldn't mind getting scammed out of my money and having to reorder. I'm just worried about being forced into a psych ward. I think I'll just come up with a believable story to explain to people if I get a welfare check (e.g. I'll say that I've been going through a tough time and thinking about suicide so I got some N hoping that just having it with me would give me some comfort and reassurance, but I don't actually know how to use it and don't plan on taking it anytime soon). But also, how come you only lost $500? I thought N cost $1200?
Personally, I could never bring myself to do something like partial; I just don't have the guts. I would rather experience 15 mins of discomfort than do something super gutsy, even though it would take longer to lose consciousness. Yeah there are a lot of variables in SN, but at least it's a lot more peaceful than other methods.

 

[Hollowillow]

Weirdly, I'm really getting a lot more afraid than I anticipated. I also keep reading bad stuff on here about the SN method that I hope is not true. From suffocating in my saliva to gagging so loud I'll sounded like a dying cat which may cause the hotel to hear me. And finally, the darkness and nothingness. I respect everyone's wishes beyond this life but total darkness and/or nothingness freak me out.

Tell me something good about the SN method today, please? Restore my resolve to do it without fear. I know a few undercover lifers will continue to terrify me with their comments but I'm hoping a few can say something good about the method

A friend of mine warned that sn could go wrong. He's not a pro lifer but someone needing to know worst case scenarios to be ready. Like taking anti vomit because it makes you vomit. That scares me more than dark eternal sleep. Waking up hurts so much! I feel no pain in dreams... I read stan's guide & the side effect are a big deal for me. I have a toxin in my home, I know how it all feels for months... It's painful... Might as well finish myself off. But I'd rather hang. I'm scared of both. With sn it's harder to undo...

I guess it's popular for a reason...
Oh god dying for 4h... Instant is a guillotinr but even after that the brain didn't die fast enough...
I hope I wasn't annoying my brain hurts & the chaos makes me random.

 

[ojinzo]

I'm so sorry you got scammed out of your money!!! As far as I know, when and if D comes back, it will be with a new address or something which will supposedly prevent customs from getting it. At this point, I am so desperate for N that I wouldn't mind getting scammed out of my money and having to reorder. I'm just worried about being forced into a psych ward. I think I'll just come up with a believable story to explain to people if I get a welfare check (e.g. I'll say that I've been going through a tough time and thinking about suicide so I got some N hoping that just having it with me would give me some comfort and reassurance, but I don't actually know how to use it and don't plan on taking it anytime soon). But also, how come you only lost $500? I thought N cost $1200?
Personally, I could never bring myself to do something like partial; I just don't have the guts. I would rather experience 15 mins of discomfort than do something super gutsy, even though it would take longer to lose consciousness. Yeah there are a lot of variables in SN, but at least it's a lot more peaceful than other method

I'm so sorry you got scammed out of your money!!! As far as I know, when and if D comes back, it will be with a new address or something which will supposedly prevent customs from getting it. At this point, I am so desperate for N that I wouldn't mind getting scammed out of my money and having to reorder. I'm just worried about being forced into a psych ward. I think I'll just come up with a believable story to explain to people if I get a welfare check (e.g. I'll say that I've been going through a tough time and thinking about suicide so I got some N hoping that just having it with me would give me some comfort and reassurance, but I don't actually know how to use it and don't plan on taking it anytime soon). But also, how come you only lost $500? I thought N cost $1200?
Personally, I could never bring myself to do something like partial; I just don't have the guts. I would rather experience 15 mins of discomfort than do something super gutsy, even though it would take longer to lose consciousness. Yeah there are a lot of variables in SN, but at least it's a lot more peaceful than other methods.

Gutsy is one of my favorite words. I think it takes more guts to put something in your body hoping it will kill you then doing something that is sure to kill you if you have the right rope

A friend of mine warned that sn could go wrong. He's not a pro lifer but someone needing to know worst case scenarios to be ready. Like taking anti vomit because it makes you vomit. That scares me more than dark eternal sleep. Waking up hurts so much! I feel no pain in dreams... I read stan's guide & the side effect are a big deal for me. I have a toxin in my home, I know how it all feels for months... It's painful... Might as well finish myself off. But I'd rather hang. I'm scared of both. With sn it's harder to undo...

I guess it's popular for a reason...
Oh god dying for 4h... Instant is a guillotinr but even after that the brain didn't die fast enough...
I hope I wasn't annoying my brain hurts & the chaos makes me random.

You are never annoying to me

 

[Hollowillow]

Gutsy is one of my favorite words. I think it takes more guts to put something in your body hoping it will kill you then doing something that is sure to kill you if you have the right rope

You are never annoying to me

Aww thank you yay