Venting Teetering on a mental breakdown

[Gstreater]

I've been trying not to break down into tears when I'm alone like this, I hate feeling like this. I wish I was happier that I could look at those I love and tell them to just let me die that they'll be fine without me. If I do that I'll get put back in a damn ward which would only make me feel worse. I hope one day I can be honest and talk to the people that made me feel like this. Tell them that I don't hate them for what happened but I need to get rid of this feeling and the only way is to CTB.