TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,641
Introduction/Disclaimer: I am not a psychologist, doctor, medical expert, or a legal expert. I am merely giving my take as well as my findings on what will work for suppressing one's SI (Survival Instinct). Furthermore, everyone's predicament and personal circumstances, temperament/disposition, are all different, therefore, what may work or be applicable for one may not be for another.
With that said, this is TAW's Guide towards trying to suppress or at least overcome the SI enough to be able to act in a critical moment. This does not factor in drugs, medication, nor alcohol and while those things may help someone overcome their own survival instinct. In this guide I will focus on getting towards the state of mind that will allow one to more easily override one's SI. Getting the proper preparations, one's method, knowledge, and the right circumstance is most of the battle, but of course the final obstacle (which is personal) will always be the damned SI.
As someone who is mainly somber, nihilistic, and full of doom and gloom, perhaps this part will come easier for me (as well as people who are in similar dispositions). The idea is to get into a mindset that pushes out any doubt, any (false) hope, and of course, having a few catalysts at the right moment. What do I mean by catalysts? A catalyst is something that sparks or sets off an action, almost impulsive but I wouldn't consider it to be "impulsive" since it is something that has been planned and prepared. I could do this due to my shitty experiences in life that get me to such a state of despair, hopelessness, and angst. A bit of anger and bitterness (not too much) is required in order to propel one to act, but it has to be directed properly in order to be effective. So in other words, raw uncontrolled anger and bitterness will not lead to the correct result but may even hamper one's attempt. Instead, with a controlled trigger and catalyst, one could invoke and call it on demand at the right time and circumstance.
An anecdote In 2019 (TAW's story and example)
Upon writing this guide, I recall a time before the pandemic where I was literally ready to die and at peace, vividly planned out my demise. I won't go into the details of the physical and logistical part as that's not the purpose of this guide, but rather the mental preparations and my mental state during those times. I was in such despair over my life and I channeled my despair, a hint of anger and bitterness into one area. I first accepted that there were things I couldn't control, but also found a modicum of relief that I had the means to just end it and being in control helped, this initially allowed me to be calm enough and not as agitated, restless, and allowed me to focus. My mindset was whatever happens (whether I prevail in my goals to have a life worth living or I die by my own hand), happens and I could always end it at any given moment at my discretion. After the initial calmness, I had great confidence in my method as well as knowledge of execution and action, so that allowed further confidence. I also rationalized (this will vary from individual to individual) that the situation is dire and that life generally sucked as well as made peace with the things yet to come and intentionally disassociated with them (other miscellaneous goals and activities). I dismissed all other factors and just heavily focused on that very day that I will CTB (which of course may have come in 2019 but didn't). After making peace with my decision, I had purposely stored some catalysts for myself such that I can invoke and call on demand, which greatly reduces hesitation. Finally, I meditated and fantasized death which further solidified my resolve to die. This would mean that when my time came, it would just be almost like I'm on auto-pilot, emotionless and clinical.
Granted that I have temporarily recovered during 2019, due to some personal circumstance (along with meeting my ladyfriend and having the encounter go pretty well) there were times where I was in that state of mind and the idea is to be in control of that and exploit that in order to overcome one's own SI. I wrote this anecdote to give an example of my mindset and state of mind when I felt 'ready' to die.
Anyways, back to the present and on topic. So after one has acquired the method of their choice (which will vary in degrees of success, reliability, comfort, accessibility, etc.), the other part of the battle is the psychological and mental one, especially that of the SI. Certain methods require more to overcome one's own SI, than others, but at the end, one's own SI still exists, but there are ways to reduce it and it will vary from individual to individual. I would claim that meditation, visualizing (to the best of one's ability) of the actual attempt (almost like rehearsing it), and of course, treating it as if one's sentience is the enemy to be eliminated may disassociate oneself from one's SI just enough to go through with the final step to CTB (the few pounds of pressure needed to pull the trigger, the drinking of a lethal substance, the step off the stool, etc.). Of course, everyone's SI is different and circumstances are different, but the main point is to have a catalyst as well as a mindset that helps one overcome one's SI and once one is able to do that, at the right moment, then one's SI could effectively be suppressed long enough for one to follow through with the final step to actually complete the CTB. At the end, everyone's way of overcoming SI will be different, but the general components and elements to overcome (even temporarily) are still the same, getting into the right mindset with the right catalyst at the right time to get that final step in.
With that said, this is TAW's Guide towards trying to suppress or at least overcome the SI enough to be able to act in a critical moment. This does not factor in drugs, medication, nor alcohol and while those things may help someone overcome their own survival instinct. In this guide I will focus on getting towards the state of mind that will allow one to more easily override one's SI. Getting the proper preparations, one's method, knowledge, and the right circumstance is most of the battle, but of course the final obstacle (which is personal) will always be the damned SI.
As someone who is mainly somber, nihilistic, and full of doom and gloom, perhaps this part will come easier for me (as well as people who are in similar dispositions). The idea is to get into a mindset that pushes out any doubt, any (false) hope, and of course, having a few catalysts at the right moment. What do I mean by catalysts? A catalyst is something that sparks or sets off an action, almost impulsive but I wouldn't consider it to be "impulsive" since it is something that has been planned and prepared. I could do this due to my shitty experiences in life that get me to such a state of despair, hopelessness, and angst. A bit of anger and bitterness (not too much) is required in order to propel one to act, but it has to be directed properly in order to be effective. So in other words, raw uncontrolled anger and bitterness will not lead to the correct result but may even hamper one's attempt. Instead, with a controlled trigger and catalyst, one could invoke and call it on demand at the right time and circumstance.
An anecdote In 2019 (TAW's story and example)
Upon writing this guide, I recall a time before the pandemic where I was literally ready to die and at peace, vividly planned out my demise. I won't go into the details of the physical and logistical part as that's not the purpose of this guide, but rather the mental preparations and my mental state during those times. I was in such despair over my life and I channeled my despair, a hint of anger and bitterness into one area. I first accepted that there were things I couldn't control, but also found a modicum of relief that I had the means to just end it and being in control helped, this initially allowed me to be calm enough and not as agitated, restless, and allowed me to focus. My mindset was whatever happens (whether I prevail in my goals to have a life worth living or I die by my own hand), happens and I could always end it at any given moment at my discretion. After the initial calmness, I had great confidence in my method as well as knowledge of execution and action, so that allowed further confidence. I also rationalized (this will vary from individual to individual) that the situation is dire and that life generally sucked as well as made peace with the things yet to come and intentionally disassociated with them (other miscellaneous goals and activities). I dismissed all other factors and just heavily focused on that very day that I will CTB (which of course may have come in 2019 but didn't). After making peace with my decision, I had purposely stored some catalysts for myself such that I can invoke and call on demand, which greatly reduces hesitation. Finally, I meditated and fantasized death which further solidified my resolve to die. This would mean that when my time came, it would just be almost like I'm on auto-pilot, emotionless and clinical.
Granted that I have temporarily recovered during 2019, due to some personal circumstance (along with meeting my ladyfriend and having the encounter go pretty well) there were times where I was in that state of mind and the idea is to be in control of that and exploit that in order to overcome one's own SI. I wrote this anecdote to give an example of my mindset and state of mind when I felt 'ready' to die.
Anyways, back to the present and on topic. So after one has acquired the method of their choice (which will vary in degrees of success, reliability, comfort, accessibility, etc.), the other part of the battle is the psychological and mental one, especially that of the SI. Certain methods require more to overcome one's own SI, than others, but at the end, one's own SI still exists, but there are ways to reduce it and it will vary from individual to individual. I would claim that meditation, visualizing (to the best of one's ability) of the actual attempt (almost like rehearsing it), and of course, treating it as if one's sentience is the enemy to be eliminated may disassociate oneself from one's SI just enough to go through with the final step to CTB (the few pounds of pressure needed to pull the trigger, the drinking of a lethal substance, the step off the stool, etc.). Of course, everyone's SI is different and circumstances are different, but the main point is to have a catalyst as well as a mindset that helps one overcome one's SI and once one is able to do that, at the right moment, then one's SI could effectively be suppressed long enough for one to follow through with the final step to actually complete the CTB. At the end, everyone's way of overcoming SI will be different, but the general components and elements to overcome (even temporarily) are still the same, getting into the right mindset with the right catalyst at the right time to get that final step in.
