I just got a private message from a concerned citizen who was affronted by me saying in a comment on another thread that what we are doing here, as adults, is providing support.
The people who lurk on this forum looking to scapegoat us for the deaths of their loved ones are avoiding their own pain by trying to find people to blame.
I'm an alcoholic in recovery. I've been sober for three years. I've been dealing with some excruciating shit in my life and have become pretty isolated. I'm having suicidal thoughts.
It took me a long ass time to get sober, and one of the things that I learned in the process is that recovery doesn't happen in isolation. I didn't quit drinking by doing it on my own and not sharing what was going on with anyone. I got sober by having spaces where I could share honestly and openly, without fear of judgement. I got sober by telling the fucking truth, and I could only do that where it was safe to do so, when I was with other alcoholics who I knew wouldn't judge me or try to "fix" me or otherwise shut me down and shut me up.
My thoughts about suicide get worse when I am stuck in my own head. Isolation kills. Keeping the darkness inside only makes it grow stronger. And just like how hearing other people talk openly and honestly about their own struggles with sobriety helps me stay sober, reading other people talk about their suicidal thoughts helps me see my own with more clarity.
I don't judge other people for having suicidal thoughts, nor do I try to change their minds. This is the only place I have where I can share just how serious my suicidal ideation has gotten. Nobody's trying to fix me here. Nobody's shutting me up. Nobody's acting like I don't belong. Keeping those thoughts to myself makes them grow stronger. Bringing them out into the light helps me understand that I'm not alone.
People who belong here will understand what I'm talking about. The rest of you, bless your hearts. Go to therapy and leave us alone. I lost someone who I loved to suicide eleven years ago, and I was deeply affected by a sibling's suicide attempt when I was a teenager. I get it, it's painful. But you have your resources for getting support, if you choose to actually get honest and face your pain. Or you can, y'know, choose to harshly judge and attempt to isolate people who need support instead of facing yourselves. We're honest. You're not.
The people who lurk on this forum looking to scapegoat us for the deaths of their loved ones are avoiding their own pain by trying to find people to blame.
I'm an alcoholic in recovery. I've been sober for three years. I've been dealing with some excruciating shit in my life and have become pretty isolated. I'm having suicidal thoughts.
It took me a long ass time to get sober, and one of the things that I learned in the process is that recovery doesn't happen in isolation. I didn't quit drinking by doing it on my own and not sharing what was going on with anyone. I got sober by having spaces where I could share honestly and openly, without fear of judgement. I got sober by telling the fucking truth, and I could only do that where it was safe to do so, when I was with other alcoholics who I knew wouldn't judge me or try to "fix" me or otherwise shut me down and shut me up.
My thoughts about suicide get worse when I am stuck in my own head. Isolation kills. Keeping the darkness inside only makes it grow stronger. And just like how hearing other people talk openly and honestly about their own struggles with sobriety helps me stay sober, reading other people talk about their suicidal thoughts helps me see my own with more clarity.
I don't judge other people for having suicidal thoughts, nor do I try to change their minds. This is the only place I have where I can share just how serious my suicidal ideation has gotten. Nobody's trying to fix me here. Nobody's shutting me up. Nobody's acting like I don't belong. Keeping those thoughts to myself makes them grow stronger. Bringing them out into the light helps me understand that I'm not alone.
People who belong here will understand what I'm talking about. The rest of you, bless your hearts. Go to therapy and leave us alone. I lost someone who I loved to suicide eleven years ago, and I was deeply affected by a sibling's suicide attempt when I was a teenager. I get it, it's painful. But you have your resources for getting support, if you choose to actually get honest and face your pain. Or you can, y'know, choose to harshly judge and attempt to isolate people who need support instead of facing yourselves. We're honest. You're not.
