I've been lurking these forums for a while and thought I ought to say hi (or bye??) before I CTB.
I'll be taking SN in car, to which I wont be visible to anybody because I've covered the windows with sunshades, at 12 tonight.
I've wrapped 5 grams of SN into 7 RAW Black rolling papers. 4 for the initial dose, 3 for incase I throw up. They are the thinnest rolling papers I can find and I believe they will easily be dissolved. I'll also bring two bottles with 50ml and 20g SN incase if I'm having trouble swallowing them.
I sadly wont have any meto on board but I do have antiacids and painkillers. I'm also debating smoking cannabis to help subside the nausea, but I'm not too sure based on what people have said on this forum. It looks like it amplifies your SI??? On the other hand, weed has helped me with intense hangovers + vomiting before, and I can eat immediately after smoking. I think it might be worth a shot.
I'm also fasting for 24 hours with little cups of water every now and then.
That's a brief summary of my method.
My reasons for doing this is that I suffer from severe OCD, depression, and carry a lot of trauma. I dont want to delve too deep into how these things effect me, but they hurt a shit ton.
I was expecting today to feel special, strange, dooming, or exciting. But in all honesty it feels like another day to me. It was strange, though, watching everybody go about their business in the grocery store, with their big heavy carts, families, and bags of groceries - as I dart around looking for the things to help me CTB and try my best not to look suspicious on the way out.
As the hour approaches I may feel a bit more fight or flighty but we'll see. I'm surprised at my lack of nervousness right now. I think my SI has diminished a lot overtime. I'll be checking this post throughout the night.
I'll be taking SN in car, to which I wont be visible to anybody because I've covered the windows with sunshades, at 12 tonight.
I've wrapped 5 grams of SN into 7 RAW Black rolling papers. 4 for the initial dose, 3 for incase I throw up. They are the thinnest rolling papers I can find and I believe they will easily be dissolved. I'll also bring two bottles with 50ml and 20g SN incase if I'm having trouble swallowing them.
I sadly wont have any meto on board but I do have antiacids and painkillers. I'm also debating smoking cannabis to help subside the nausea, but I'm not too sure based on what people have said on this forum. It looks like it amplifies your SI??? On the other hand, weed has helped me with intense hangovers + vomiting before, and I can eat immediately after smoking. I think it might be worth a shot.
I'm also fasting for 24 hours with little cups of water every now and then.
That's a brief summary of my method.
My reasons for doing this is that I suffer from severe OCD, depression, and carry a lot of trauma. I dont want to delve too deep into how these things effect me, but they hurt a shit ton.
I was expecting today to feel special, strange, dooming, or exciting. But in all honesty it feels like another day to me. It was strange, though, watching everybody go about their business in the grocery store, with their big heavy carts, families, and bags of groceries - as I dart around looking for the things to help me CTB and try my best not to look suspicious on the way out.
As the hour approaches I may feel a bit more fight or flighty but we'll see. I'm surprised at my lack of nervousness right now. I think my SI has diminished a lot overtime. I'll be checking this post throughout the night.
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