Taken to many meds

[NeverMatteredAnyway]

It was an impulse decision in a crisis

Crisis will be if you hurt your liver and/or kidneys. Im not being mean. Im hoping this gets through to you.

 

[Lara Francis]

I am so stupid.i just wanted to sleep and just forget myself and the pain i constantly feel every moment of the day.
Yet i have to fight for my sons return in a few months but the time inbetween is so hard to deal with

 

[Deleted member 14386]

No 45
The problem i have is that if this were to go on medical records i would b screwed (with regards to my son ) thats why i am hesitent in getting checked out

But what if you slowly die of liver disease? Call the medics!! Say you didn't know what you were doing, anything just call

I am so stupid.i just wanted to sleep and just forget myself and the pain i constantly feel every moment of the day.
Yet i have to fight for my sons return in a few months but the time inbetween is so hard to deal with

Don't worry about the decision, make a good one now

 

[NeverMatteredAnyway]

I am so stupid.i just wanted to sleep and just forget myself and the pain i constantly feel every moment of the day.
Yet i have to fight for my sons return in a few months but the time inbetween is so hard to deal with

You're not stupid. At. All. But you will suffer and pay the price if you do something that hurts your internal organs. Pick something different that doesnt have a chance of doing that. Take a bath, watch tv, cry and scream, eat something you like, or all of these all day long. Just dont hurt your internal organs. You NEED them. And if you do hurt them, theyre gonna know what you did anyway. So dont do that.

 

[Jean4]

I said that i would not do any crazy stuff in my friends house.kids r young and friend out for the evening hence grandad being here.

You sound annoyed

Not annoyed. Just making sure I understand. My brain right now is very slow and I misunderstand things, as I am getting adjusted to my meds. I said something stupid because I misunderstood. I don't want to do that again. ;)

 

[NeverMatteredAnyway]

You're not stupid. At. All. But you will suffer and pay the price if you do something that hurts your internal organs. Pick something different that doesnt have a chance of doing that. Take a bath, watch tv, cry and scream, eat something you like, or all of these all day long. Just dont hurt your internal organs. You NEED them. And if you do hurt them, theyre gonna know what you did anyway. So dont do that.

Idk if you hurt yourself or not. You can go get checked and see if theres something that can be done, or you can find out by getting sick, or who knows you might be ok. Its your life and future and your decision. Id go get checked. I need my liver and kidneys.

 

[Comfortably Numb]

Lara, take a deep breath, then take another deep sloooooow breath. Go to the bathroom and wash your face with very cold water straight from the tap. Look in the mirror, take another deep breath and call for help. You need help and to get checked hun x

 

[Lara Francis]

Need to sleep again.

 

[Jean4]

Need to sleep again.

You should get help.

 

[k75]

You could always say you took it to try to help you sleep and now are afraid you took too much. Claim insomnia. That shouldn't raise red flags.

 

[Soul]

Peeps, please be gentle with our @Lara Francis. I understand that some of you don't know her story but tbh the effect of the whole thread is not very respectful. She's being berated rather harshly for having a crisis.

I understand that people were worried about her, but right now we need to listen to her with compassion. She's explained that she can't call paramedics in or rush off to an ER - please let's not badger her anymore.

@Lara Francis beautiful, will you seek medical care as early tomorrow as you can? I shall try to find out what the best thing for you in the meantime might be.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Thinking of you Lara. I agree with @Soul if you are afraid to go to the ER then consider getting an urgent appointment with your regular doctor. You can say you were confused and tired and you in no way meant to cause any self harm, if that helps you. But at least you can get checked out.

 

[Quarky00]

I hope you are doing okay

No details were given about situation , feelings , children , sleep -- laconic insistence appeared strange -- sorry I misunderstood your severe distress and incapacitated state

Despite health concerns it is good to rest and recuperate (though others are smarter than me) so I just hope you feel comfortable . And know you do have support here . People were worried about you :) Sending a big hug .

 

[Iloveyouall]

I hope you are ok Lara. Let us know.

 

[Lara Francis]

Hi.
I just wanted to say thankyou for being here for me last night.
I had struggled to cope with valentines day ,missing my son then my wedding aniversary was something that just pushed me over the edge!
I nearly made it through to the end of the day but a friend called and asked me "Was I ok ?"
I told her that i was feeling stressed and was planning on taking what was going to b the normal dose of promazine so i could sleep which always helps.

However after taking it,it had no sedative effect like it normally does and i was so restless and could not think what to do.
I just wanted to sleep as i was hurting so much.normally i have diazapam for such an occassion but dr refused to give me them now ,
I forget that not everyone knows my story so i will just give a brief outline so u are able to see why i was so hesitate in getting help.
In a nut shell,my hubby died 3 years ago and i attempted suicide which lead to our son being taken into care.
I so wish that having a child prevents people from being suicidal but it doesent,not for me.
I feel so guilty for having let him down and wish I didnt have such moments of despair.
I try really hard each and every day in a plan to maintain stability and fight for our son.
When i first took the promazine and it didnt work,i just then drank from the bottle.
I was not thinking clearly or maybe not at all ! about the consequences on both my own body and any after effects to getting help.
When i felt really sleepy it was peaceful but i was also scared.part of me wanted to get help but their was also a part of me wanting to let go and slip away.
I am being monitored by the mental health team ,doctors ,my psychiartrist and social services so 1 little word in their direction would raise red flags and damage my chances.its catch 22!
In hindsight it was a bad choice and i am genuinely sorry to have offended or worried people.
Thankyou for your messages and words of support.I guess after falling asleep the second time and sleeping until the morning will now devoid any chances to repair perminant damage and seeing any type of medic now will b a waste of time.
I feel kind of embrassed atm and still feel groggy with a headache but i just wanted to give an update.
I know there will b those that feel i just wanted attention but in reality i did think i was dying and didnt want to b alone - is that so wrong?
I have read through the thread this morning and hold every respect towards those who contributed to the thread.
Love to u all xx

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I'm glad you are okay (ish) Lara.

 

[Ghost2211]

Glad you are OK. I know how hard it is to be a parent and suicidal, and I can't even imagine the pain and awfulness of losing a child to the system. I understand you can't really go to the hospital, But if need be you can always make an appointment with a general practitioner and mention self harm not suicide. Below are a couple links you should familiarize yourself with it You're going to choose self harm methods that will put your organs in danger. My heart goes out to you, and I wish there was more I could do to help you. I'm here if you need a friend

signs of liver failure - Google Search

signs of kidney failure - Google Search

 

[Iloveyouall]

That's a very sad story. I can barely imagine how you must have felt last night after drinking from the bottle.
I don't want to sound like I'm lecturing you but I hope next time you will reach for us or any other help before doing such an impulsive thing.
I know how you're scared for messing up your chance to be with your son but I still suggest you go get checked by a doctor. You can say that despite the fact you drank the regular dose, it wasn't working so you drank a bit more of it and that now you're worrying about the health consequences, if there are such any or no, considering you woke up groggy. Maybe it's not a good advice, I actually don't know, it's your choice.
I hope your kid is doing ok and that you'll be reunited soon.
If you ever feel the need to talk, know we are all here, don't hesitate to pm me.

 

[Whale_bones]

Hi Lara, I'm so sorry you are enduring this suffering. I understand completely about your son- I'm under constant threat of mine being taken away (and right now his dad has already taken him unlawfully) and that pain is excruciating so I feel for you so so much.

Today is definitely not too late to get medical help though, I have kidney problems and at one time had liver problems, they are both organs that often react over very long periods of time. You can absolutely get a blood draw to check your liver enzymes, a scan to make sure your liver and kidneys look okay, or whatever a doctor recommends. You could take a suggestion from here and say it's nothing to do with self harm, that it was a completely accidental overdose (I'd even say you were already napping, woke up to grab a drink of water from your bedside table and took a swig from the bottle of meds instead; that's pretty reasonable). Lots of people really do accidentally take meds and if you have a trustworthy doctor there's no reason they'd suspect you're lying. I don't want you to start having stomach pain 2 months down the road and find out your liver function has been damaged, because the symptoms from that are really bad.

Sending you lots of strength during this very difficult time.

 

[Soul]

@Lara Francis, thanks for letting us know. I still hope you'll check in with a physician. You don't have to describe it as anything but a groggy mistake. I sent you a pm with some suggestions for clearing the stuff out of your system and I hope you can try them.

(((Hugs)))

 

[Lara Francis]

Thinking of you Lara. I agree with @Soul if you are afraid to go to the ER then consider getting an urgent appointment with your regular doctor. You can say you were confused and tired and you in no way meant to cause any self harm, if that helps you. But at least you can get checked out.

I couldnt be seen today at the dr but have an appointment tomorrow
Hugs to u x

 

[Suicide_vampire]

Hey @Lara Francis so happy to see you are still with us. Hope you are feeling a bit better today, just read over all the support you were getting yesterday to know people are always here for you

 

[Lara Francis]

Glad you are OK. I know how hard it is to be a parent and suicidal, and I can't even imagine the pain and awfulness of losing a child to the system. I understand you can't really go to the hospital, But if need be you can always make an appointment with a general practitioner and mention self harm not suicide. Below are a couple links you should familiarize yourself with it You're going to choose self harm methods that will put your organs in danger. My heart goes out to you, and I wish there was more I could do to help you. I'm here if you need a friend

signs of liver failure - Google Search

signs of kidney failure - Google Search

Thanku x

That's a very sad story. I can barely imagine how you must have felt last night after drinking from the bottle.
I don't want to sound like I'm lecturing you but I hope next time you will reach for us or any other help before doing such an impulsive thing.
I know how you're scared for messing up your chance to be with your son but I still suggest you go get checked by a doctor. You can say that despite the fact you drank the regular dose, it wasn't working so you drank a bit more of it and that now you're worrying about the health consequences, if there are such any or no, considering you woke up groggy. Maybe it's not a good advice, I actually don't know, it's your choice.
I hope your kid is doing ok and that you'll be reunited soon.
If you ever feel the need to talk, know we are all here, don't hesitate to pm me.

Thanku x
I have a doctors appointment tomorrow

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I couldnt be seen today at the dr but have an appointment tomorrow
Hugs to u x

Brilliant. Good luck. Stay calm. And you have Team Lara here on your side.

 

[Lostandfound7]

Hey love. Happy to hear that ur feeling betta. The pain of losing a husband AND then losing ur child to the system is unfathomable. I imagine holidays, anniversaries, bdays r esp difficult for u. But ur strength is evident n admirable in even enduring the pain for this long..

Take care of yourself n plz reach out if ur ever feel like u need to vent/talk.

We r routing for u and excited for the day ur reunited with ur baby boy..