Suspected BPD and relationships

[Valentino]

I think i might have bpd, but i don't think my therapist will want to give me a diagnosis. I have done my research and gone through the DSM-5 many times. I have all the symptoms and they're so hard to deal with. If i do have bpd i know exactly who my "favorite person" is, i love them so much but they keep hurting me! its not on purpose most the time and usually they don't even realize what their saying has such a strong impact on me. Like for example they always say im "one of their favorite people" and when they say that their basically telling me im not their favorite which makes me wanna die soooo bad. I wish they would just lie because ive mentioned it before that I don't like when they do that but they do it everytime!! I feel like im not good enough to be their favorite and i swear its driving me over the edge. theres just a bunch of things they say to me that drive me crazy. Like they almost never appreciate the things i do for them even if it took me hours, for example when i spend a long time on a drawing for them I literally have to drag a thank you out of them. I just want them to acknowledge me and be grateful for once. i've tried to talk abt this to them a hundred times but they always apologize and then do nothing about it!!! It pisses me off so much. All they do is uselessly apologize for everything. I don't want their fucking apologies and i dont know what to do with them, they don't communicate, they don't defend me when someone speaks badly about be and they're too focused on making everyone like them to give two shits about me. They keep around the people that hurt me just so they can have another "friendship" trophy on their belt. I'm sick of being friends with people pleasers.

I can't cut this person off because their one of my only relationships and if they ever left me i would immediately ctb, i just want them to be a good friend. I know I'm not perfect myself but at least i try ykw? It hurts more because i love them so much and they make me so happy sometime, but they also make me extremely miserable. Does anyone know what i should say to them to try and improve the relationship?

 

[mistake22]

I think you should cut it off. I know you've said you can't but I am pretty sure it's imagination. What your partner is doing is real and it's frustrating you obviously. It's not a one man thing it's both people. Youre at a point where you don't know what's happening to you. So you or your partner or both need to take a step back and get the help and guidance for your own problems first. When that's settled it will be clearer what's next. Just be patient it will be ok I just hope things work out for you.

 

[Valentino]

I think you should cut it off. I know you've said you can't but I am pretty sure it's imagination. What your partner is doing is real and it's frustrating you obviously. It's not a one man thing it's both people. Youre at a point where you don't know what's happening to you. So you or your partner or both need to take a step back and get the help and guidance for your own problems first. When that's settled it will be clearer what's next. Just be patient it will be ok I just hope things work out for you.

Thank you but if I'm away from this person I have no other friends and nobody to talk to anymore. Finding new friends isn't possible for me right now

 

[Kiraya]

Thank you but if I'm away from this person I have no other friends and nobody to talk to anymore. Finding new friends isn't possible for me right now

im also in a similar position. my favourite person who was once my partner decided to break off our relationship today because they want to focus on their own mental health. i know i was holding them back from that - im not a good person, but i really don't think i can live without them and i dont know what to do now.

 

[todienomore]

I think psychology is ultimately nonsense, you should study eastern religions.

BPD is a 'trash can' diagnonsis, it where they just throw a lot of people. For most people it also just resolves with time. I think it has a huge overlap with CPTSD, might be the same thing.

Sam Vaknin has really clear explanations of psychology, but like I said I think its a maze of nonsense


He does have a solutions focused channel https://www.youtube.com/@nothingnessnonarcissism/videos

 

[Worndown]

You need a second opinion. Some say all their patients have bpd. Some say adhd. Some actually listen to their patiens to see what is hoing on.