Surviving a suicide attempt, what was it like?

[overidk]

What prompted you to try? How did you feel right before you tried to kill yourself? What did you feel when your life was fading?

 

[Coal54321]

not sure if i can call it an "attempt" as i pussied out halfway through, but i researched all the medicines i had at my family home and found the one that would be the most effective yet least painful if i failed and started taking them. every pill was more and more scary until i couldnt go any further and told my parents. it was a stupid thing to do but i was young and at the time i had no idea how else to do it - every other method i knew was even scarier.

 

[Thisisnotaname]

I don't realize first time what's involve in my mood bc I liked every people I met this time in this psych ward but in fact when you left you don't stay in touch with them and the life you left after your attempt still here when you're "free".

And you realize that's suxx you're still here

 

[l1felover]

my last "attempt" if you could even call it that was a few weeks ago, I took 1000 mgs of diphenhydramine. I knew the consequences of taking it but it was mostly to get me high, however I didn't care if it killed me and I wanted it to. I woke up in a blank room with a mattress on the floor where my mom was next to me. Apparently, I blacked out and got violent in psychosis, and tried to strangle my mother and several other people. I was later put into outpatient thankfully not inpatient. If my sh scars were worse I'm sure they would've put me into inpatient.

 

[2messdup]

my last "attempt" if you could even call it that was a few weeks ago, I took 1000 mgs of diphenhydramine. I knew the consequences of taking it but it was mostly to get me high, however I didn't care if it killed me and I wanted it to. I woke up in a blank room with a mattress on the floor where my mom was next to me. Apparently, I blacked out and got violent in psychosis, and tried to strangle my mother and several other people. I was later put into outpatient thankfully not inpatient. If my sh scars were worse I'm sure they would've put me into inpatient.

Can I ask how you are now?

 

[l1felover]

Can I ask how you are now?

some days are better and some days are worse. It's a rollercoaster. today I want to ctb. I might tonight. Or at the very least sh again. I took the benadryl impulsively, but it took a downward spiral to get there. I was doing so good then I just crashed. I have no idea why. loss of motivation maybe.

 

[MlKE]

Attempted once, a decade ago. Life was shit then and is still is, for the same reasons. Don't remember what I was feeling right before, but I know I lost consciousness very quickly as the noose tightened around my neck. After some very unpleasant dreams or visions, I woke up on the floor and coughed up a huge hunk of spit and snot, my neck was sore and I had pissed myself. Crawling onto my bed I panted, terrified that I might have gotten brain damage from asphyxiation, so I wiggled my toes and fingers, frantically recalling my address and social security number, and those of my parents. Called in sick a few days because my entire face was bloodshot. Went back to school as if nothing happened. I wish I had died then, because I have not managed to improve my life in the way I'd like since, and because of the experience I had between hanging and waking, I am now afraid to shoot myself despite owning several firearms. Maybe I did die and this is Hell.

 

[2messdup]

some days are better and some days are worse. It's a rollercoaster. today I want to ctb. I might tonight. Or at the very least sh again. I took the benadryl impulsively, but it took a downward spiral to get there. I was doing so good then I just crashed. I have no idea why. loss of motivation maybe.

Sorry words getting stuck stupid brain but I see you/understand all of that and wish you absolutely the best and love from me xxx

 

[metothemoon]

I just feel like a failure afterwards. Why it didn't work (again). I think I just feel depressed before…

 

[CatLvr]

Disappointed. Way before I was smart enough to do any research about what was actually effective and what was just a dumbass thing to do I tried a couple times. Well, three if you count loading my gun while the paramedics were at the house responding to a call. I let them talk me into putting it down and going with them. Like I said -- dumbass. But I was extremely naive about such things and really didn't know where to start looking. I guess that has turned out to be a good thing?? Maybe. Kinda depends on what day it is when you ask me.

 

[cali22♡]

The train arrived too late and made me think too long

Stupid train

 

[xtra_cheesecurds]

When I tried doing so, I had taken a bunch of pills, but they didn't kick in until about 15–30 minutes, so as I was walking downstairs, I was really sluggish before I finally collapsed on the floor of my room. I planned on taking the entire thing the next day, but I had misplaced the bottle and just ended up telling my therapist what happened, which resulted in me staying in the ER overnight and getting my blood pumped and had a veggie burger (which surprisingly tastes like bacon with the aftertaste of rubber.) My family wasn't very happy with me, so I did get scolded a lot. I also had to go to a hospital(?) out of town since there weren't any near me, but it was nice there and I enjoyed it surprisingly. :)