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Stepheng7287

Stepheng7287

Faster We Run, And We Die Young
Aug 29, 2020
144
Sat in my car an hour ago with the SN in my hand and my body just wouldn't let me drink it. Just couldn't move my arm towards my mouth. Don't think I've ever been this scared in my life. Had to pour it on the ground and now I'm at home hating myself more than ever. Have to go into work tomorrow and explain why I didn't show up.

I have absolutely nothing in this world to live for yet I can't make myself do it.
 
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Pookie

Pookie

Somebody you used to know.
Oct 18, 2020
1,051
Yup, SI is a bitch indeed. Are you scared of the potential effects you'll feel when taking the SN or just the finality of it all?
 
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S

sephlove

Member
Nov 22, 2020
82
I'm supposed to CTB tomorrow, and I feel the exact same way. I've prepared everything and I now my mind is backing out. Even though this is something I've planned and felt for a LONGGG time. Ugh.
 
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Stepheng7287

Stepheng7287

Faster We Run, And We Die Young
Aug 29, 2020
144
Yup, SI is a bitch indeed. Are you scared of the potential effects you'll feel when taking the SN or just the finality of it all?

I was more afraid of getting found, being hospitalised and having to explain myself.

I see why people do this in a hotel room now. I would love to do it at home on my bed but I'm not having my parents find me.
 
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puppy9

puppy9

au revoir
Jun 13, 2019
1,238
It's a bitch indeed. Been there.

iu
 
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N

neverever

Member
Dec 10, 2020
77
I was more afraid of getting found, being hospitalised and having to explain myself.

I see why people do this in a hotel room now. I would love to do it at home on my bed but I'm not having my parents find me.
I am afraid of this too.

What do you all think of walking far into the woods and then drinking SN? Would the distance from civilization mitigate the risks of being found? Just thinking out loud.
 
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E

Endeavour

Mage
Dec 13, 2020
566
I am afraid of this too.

What do you all think of walking far into the woods and then drinking SN? Would the distance from civilization mitigate the risks of being found? Just thinking out loud.
Probably
 
Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Always was, is, and always shall be.
Jun 22, 2020
6,082
I have absolutely nothing in this world to live for yet I can't make myself do it.
I'm at that point too. I'm afraid of doing it. There must be a solution. I'm also afraid of drinking it and then calling for help.
 
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E

Endeavour

Mage
Dec 13, 2020
566
I'm at that point too. I'm afraid of doing it. There must be a solution. I'm also afraid of drinking it and then calling for help.
Same. It's that final step that's getting me every time.
 
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Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Always was, is, and always shall be.
Jun 22, 2020
6,082
I'm at that point too. I'm afraid of doing it. There must be a solution. I'm also afraid of drinking it and then calling for help.
If only I could get someplace far enough away from civilization that even if I called for help they wouldn't find me in time.

I know myself well and I would probably panic after I drank it.
 
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W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,163
I understand what you're saying. SI sucks!
I'm so sorry you've failed but, there will be more chances so, wish you the best next time!
 
W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,163
I think he's gone dude.
Yeah I saw his crossed out username and thought the same.
Well, wherever he is, I hope he's at peace. He was a nice guy.
 
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Reactions: bluesrock and Ἡγησίας

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