Discussion Super Tolerant But Still Considering Oxycodone Does ER make this a bad idea

[Stagefour]

I am on a prescribed 60mg er Oxycodone ER, 3x day. Also have a mix of 30 and 40mg ER meds. I have 120 30mg HCL oxycodone immediate release. as I am terminal and because my country sucks I have to figure out how to take things into my own hands if I want to stop suffering. I want to live so bad. I am just in so much pain and they cannot control it.. Have a rare nasty cancer and the pain is unbearable. I am under 40...

Have ample supply but have been on them at 200mg+ daily for 7 months now. Definitely tolerant. Also on Xanax, 4mg a day for 7 months.. I using info in the megathread did the thing, waiting to see if it shows up. If it doesn't Im considering trying to use this combo. If you had an unlimited supply of oxycodone would ER do the job or would it need to be IR? My concern is they will take all my meds away if I try to CTB and fail. I CANNOT have that happen to me. I read the dutch thing recommending 1200mg and 50mg Oxy/Benzo. Cannot seem to find the "lethal" dose anywhere. Would crushing to a powder be helpful for the IR? I have seen rectal administration advised here, wouldnt this set off the exit muscle similar to an enema? If I do this I cannot fail though I will be CTB in 6 months or less anyway I promise you cancer pain uncontrolled and chronic is worse then death. I do not judge anyone but do know that life is beautiful and if you think anything other than CTB might make you happy here on earth, go for it. some of us would give anything to trade positions.

 

[Kyrok]

@Stagefour , You can't easily convert oxycontin to immediate release. In theory, you can chop them up into small bits, but they're like dense rubber. Given your tolerance, chances of fatal OD is low.

The LD50 of oxycodone (50% chance of lethality) is about 400mg/kg, so around 30,000mg for the average adult. For Xanax, a ballpark is 1000mg/kg. However, their combination seems to increase lethality by an order of magnitude.

IMO, your chances of survival are too high. You're tolerant, and as you note, they could be taken away if you survive. I've been in pain management for over a decade and plan to use a shotgun.

If you can travel, I suggest looking at the wiki "suicide tourism." Given your cancer, physician assistance is possible. But first, go to a marijuana state and spend 1-2 months saturating your body with Rick Simpson Oil. I know 2 people who were terminal who are now cancer free.

 

[Stagefour]

Yeah I tried rick Simpson. I have something rare and nasty. Losing a leg next week. Not expected to make it 6 months but no other options exist. So even with a supply of substantial amount or eating 100 of these IR tablets and not being found for 40 hours not a high chance. Haven't recreational users figured out how to convert the ER to IR via removing the coating? I could crush and dilute up to 2000mg if IR. Can't travel unfortunately I thought of going to the west coast to get my legal dwd...

 

[Kyrok]

The ERs aren't coated. Rather, they're a very dense gel-like solid. I used to be prescribed them and sometimes cut them in half or quarters to use a lower dose. The time release stays intact. There is probably a solvent out there, but I don't know. Perhaps googling "how to inject oxycontin" could get you somewhere.

I'm not sure if you could put this on a friend or family member, but have you discussed with anyone help to ctb?

 

[vulgareconomics]

I had a friend who was a junkie that got his hands on something like Oxy ER. He said it would turn into gunk in your nose or your veins. He ended up mixing it with lemon juice in a syringe and giving himself an enema with it. It worked because he was definitely fucked up.

 

[Stagefour]

I mean I do have 100+ 30mg hcl tablets as well, no one will help me regarding friends and family and I would not want to put anything on anyone. If you ate 6000 mg of ER odds are you would just throw it up from what I get. Hoping my thing from A arrives soon. Then at least I have a better option. But in case it doesn't trying to formulate a better plan. Amazing how hard a peaceful exit is...

 

[vulgareconomics]

Good luck to you. I'm really sorry to hear about your condition.

 

[lost_soul83]

I'm really sorry about your situation honey. But in my opinion, it would be better to just wait on your N from A to arrive. As previously stated, your tolerance for these meds is too high for them to do the job for you and I wouldn't wish opiate withdrawal on anyone, so you don't wanna risk your doctors cutting you off cold turkey. I am so sorry you don't have any better options. Everyone deserves a peaceful exit.

 

[Stagefour]

I also have trazodone, escoplitram, gabapentin in ample supply. The one plus to dying of cancer is they don't hold out on the meds. Hope my package from A arrives soon. Then I can decline this multilating surgery. Might also move to Colorado/Cali and pursue it legally. I should of went months ago but needed to set things right with some people and also make sure my. Family would be provided for since bus is on the way weather I catch it early or not. I'm in so much pain, what you call intractable pain at this point. Just took 60mg oxy and no relief. Gonna add another 30 and some tincture now..

i had such a good life and have slowly lost everything but the people that love me and when your in pain from hell in you your thigh hip and back for hours and you cry and plead with the sky and they can't stop it.... it's just time.

 

[Prénom Surnom]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Can you ask your doctor for morphine?

 

[Stagefour]

I was on morphine before, I switched over. The morphine is also ER and is weaker then what I have. I can basically get anything I ask for once a month. Ironically I think the morphine worked better for pain control. I had 6 good hours today though on 90mg. It's just imagine you had a 23lb tumor growing into you ass cheek and just pushing everything. Like I said I love life and wish I could stay but this is so brutal half of every day. I'm just gonna wait for my thing to come from "A" as failure isn't an option for me

 

[Prénom Surnom]

I was on morphine before, I switched over. The morphine is also ER and is weaker then what I have. I can basically get anything I ask for once a month. Ironically I think the morphine worked better for pain control. I had 6 good hours today though on 90mg. It's just imagine you had a 23lb tumor growing into you ass cheek and just pushing everything. Like I said I love life and wish I could stay but this is so brutal half of every day. I'm just gonna wait for my thing to come from "A" as failure isn't an option for me

I'm really sorry you are suffering. Nobody should have to go through that. They use morphine in hospitals to "help" people die after they are taken off life support. Technically, it is euthanasia, but they get around that legally by calling it palliative care. They just keep increasing the dose until the person stops breathing. By doing it in intervals, they can call it palliative because it's not in one fatal dose. They did it for my father and it was a relief because some people can hang on for hours, days or weeks in a vegetative state. I was there and it was peaceful and I was very grateful for that. If it helps you with the pain, then ask for it and if things become unbearable then at least you have a way out.

 

[Stagefour]

Thanks for the perspective. My brain and the rest of me is in ok health at this point. In order to enter hospice and get pain relief I would have to be willing to simply agree to bed ridden when right now the new avengers movie is about to come out. I'm sure that sounds stupid to people. It's important to me though, it'll be the first marvel movie I ever miss opening night for. Seen them all with my loving beautiful wife of a decade.

Fucking sucks. Doctor is out if I don't show for the surgery date.

Aside from that they def will do what your saying with the slowly elevated morphine but I'm not ready to be in a half coma yet. I'd rather just get it over with in a few more weeks when the pain really gets crippling. I def don't want these people to chop off my leg, but it also might kill me so there is that. I just don't wanna end up bound in the hospital, legless in pain without any of my comforts for months while this thing tries to heal,

Lott's people in my spot never get back out. I'd rather take 6 good weeks the crab over 4-6 bad months, the cab anyway. I think the terminal have a different view point a little from most.

I should be venting on a cancer forum but I don't connect with them. I can connect with wanting to die cause I'm ready to pull out as soon as that corner turns. Plus you can't talk about ctb in cancer forums everyone is disgustingly positive (and good for them I wish I could fake it)

 

[Prénom Surnom]

I understand. People have different perspectives on death. I do agree about quality vs quantity. I just had a pretty good 9 months vs 1-2 crappy more years. Losing a leg is horrible, but you may cope with it better than you think. I hate to see anyone suffering and I wish I could say something more helpful, but all I can do is send you a hug. oxo
Can you ask for a new surgery date after the movie opens?

 

[Hush Sweet Charlotte]

I hope you get to see the film :)

 

[Stagefour]

Not gonna get to see the film. Now that my efforts have been delayed getting the thing from the guy my leg will be cut off and I will be lucky to ever get out of the hospital : / bout to try my scripts and hope it works out

 

[Ruffian]

Godspeed.

 

[Stagefour]

Yeah I need some godspeed. Pain is so vicious tonight. I'd literally pay thousands and thousands if I could get N or F or anything that would do the trick. Sick fucking country where dogs with my disease in my condition are put down but I'm forced to suffer because I would never have the balls to be a jumper/hanger/Gun/train/bridge. Look at this fucking thing. I loved life and still do and I think most people here on this site should reconsider outside of the sick but come on, really I have to keep living? Why? Hoping to never wake up from surgery. If it's successful in 3-4 months later I get to slowly asphyxiate to death in a morphine coma. 6-8 weeks best case for legal assisted death in the US if I moved they predict my leg guts will be hanging out before then. A was supposed to provide me an exit but that situation has been a debacle. Just popped 120mg of oxy like its tic tacs. Shit does nothing. Wanna see what a leg that hurts so bad you want to die looks like?

 

[Kyrok]

Sorry man, so terrible. Wish someone was there to help you ctb. Can't use a firearm?

 

[Elfy]

I am so sorry... I cannot imagine there is nothing more they can do for you when it comes to treating your pain. But they must want to. Have you tried getting second opinions? I am a chronic pain patient and am on fentanyl now but nothing close to what you must be feeling

 

[Jolene40]

I really feel for you. I have multiple illnesses and have been in hospital so long fed intravenously. Im on oxy and the pain still seeps through. I have degenerative neuro and connective tissue disease and pain thst has you screaming to god sweating is very familiar to me also.
Is there no way you can get to a legalised state with your loved one for your final days and seek assistance for the end.
Here in the u.k we have no legal options. It is barbaric and i shall never understand how this can be allowed. ❤

 

[headinghome]

I really feel for you. I have multiple illnesses and have been in hospital so long fed intravenously. Im on oxy and the pain still seeps through. I have degenerative neuro and connective tissue disease and pain thst has you screaming to god sweating is very familiar to me also.
Is there no way you can get to a legalised state with your loved one for your final days and seek assistance for the end.
Here in the u.k we have no legal options. It is barbaric and i shall never understand how this can be allowed. ❤

Why are we made to suffer? So angry that we can't choose our own dignified and painless death....so angry that all my friends want me to stay alive for THEM...and not for what I want...others seem to not be able or willing to comprehend the hell/suffering and think that some stupid pills or taking to a shrink is going to cure all the devastation of a physical injury etc! When will we be allowed to pass on our own terms?
Tried with drugs/alcohol and almost made it but was brought back...will never forgive those and anyone who wants me to live!!!!

I was on morphine before, I switched over. The morphine is also ER and is weaker then what I have. I can basically get anything I ask for once a month. Ironically I think the morphine worked better for pain control. I had 6 good hours today though on 90mg. It's just imagine you had a 23lb tumor growing into you ass cheek and just pushing everything. Like I said I love life and wish I could stay but this is so brutal half of every day. I'm just gonna wait for my thing to come from "A" as failure isn't an option for me

Sounds like a combo of package from A and also all the other drugs you have would work and could be painless....yes don't take what you have now and fail....these docs etc are cruel when it comes to holding back after CTB attempt....do they talk with you about hospice? although who wants to lie there in agony waiting....I want the choice and to be able to do it on my terms! Wishing...for death but no way to get there from here...

 

[Jolene40]

Those close to me support me 100% in going for assisted euthanasia abroad. Im not deemed terminal but im as good as a cabbage in my eyes. It is no life.
Im not married though so i imagine a partner would find it much harder to accept. I have a child and it kills me leaving them.

 

[tootired]

it is sad that we can humanely put down an ailing pet, but we are made to suffer. i really think it's more a money thing for the system...what else could it be ? though i've noticed alot of people just don't understand things from our point of view. good luck to youi

 

[headinghome]

it is sad that we can humanely put down an ailing pet, but we are made to suffer. i really think it's more a money thing for the system...what else could it be ? though i've noticed alot of people just don't understand things from our point of view. good luck to youi

that is part of it...others do not get it from their point of view..for me they think I can just talk my way out of the devastation and grief from my physical disabilities...that I should want to live even compromised!!!
I can see not wanting your teenaged child to leave you but as an adult with many decades I think it is cruel and
inhumane to not allow my
choice....or to not allow
me access to the drugs we give our beloved pets! None of this makes sense! I am suffering and
can't escape...no real exit options...don't think I can maneuver through the process of acquiring N

 

[tootired]

that is part of it...others do not get it from their point of view..for me they think I can just talk my way out of the devastation and grief from my physical disabilities...that I should want to live even compromised!!!
I can see not wanting your teenaged child to leave you but as an adult with many decades I think it is cruel and
inhumane to not allow my
choice....or to not allow
me access to the drugs we give our beloved pets! None of this makes sense! I am suffering and
can't escape...no real exit options...don't think I can maneuver through the process of acquiring N

i used to do body building and had learned how to find things on the net. i also was was living out of the country for awhile and noticed that they sold alot of things over the counter in their pharmacies without scripts . i did a search for n in that country and saw a reply that one could get it there from 2 major pharmacies..dont know if its true though..i'm going to contact a friend there and ask him to check. i also found many internet sellers from there offering n for 10-15 a bottle.. i kinda would like to make a post for people about this but i dont wamt tobreak a rule or anything. for the prices is wouls seem almost worth it to give it a try

 

[headinghome]

i used to do body building and had learned how to find things on the net. i also was was living out of the country for awhile and noticed that they sold alot of things over the counter in their pharmacies without scripts . i did a search for n in that country and saw a reply that one could get it there from 2 major pharmacies..dont know if its true though..i'm going to contact a friend there and ask him to check. i also found many internet sellers from there offering n for 10-15 a bottle.. i kinda would like to make a post for people about this but i dont wamt tobreak a rule or anything. for the prices is wouls seem almost worth it to give it a try

most if not all online posts are scams
there is supposedly a supplier and of
course this needs to be
protected so the steps
involved are many and logistically I may not be able to do this as I can't drive etc but thank you.,,,

 

[tootired]

most if not all online posts are scams
there is supposedly a supplier and of
course this needs to be
protected so the steps
involved are many and logistically I may not be able to do this as I can't drive etc but thank you.,,,

yes complicated for sure...best of luck to you

 

[Stagefour]

Looking into SN now. Other alternatives I'm considering is just dropping tons of my meds 2.4 grams (2400mg) of oxy and ducktaping my mouth shut. Doing a few shots. Adding a plastic bag before I pass out. I only have till Tuesday at 6am or I'll have to plan to ctb after my release from the hospital which will be a lot harder as an amputee then a cripple as I won't be able to get away from my caregivers who love me dearly,

 

[Kyrok]

May be hard to stop survival instinct with bag. You'll need to Be very sedated. Be very sure no one will find you too soon.