Sunday is the day. Thread with updates.

[SuffrInSilence]

Started a thread earlier but It was unsure and I'm sure now. Sunday is the day. I have a cliff picked, no one has ever survived falling from the top to the bottom. I have tomorrow (today as it's gone midnight here) to get my affairs in order. Have wrapped up work already. Have to decide on what's in the suicide note and am also seeing my only proper friend to hang out. She won't know it's a goodbye but I'll be grateful to see her.

I've only ever attempted semi-seriously before, with methods I kind of knew wouldn't work, because I was desperate to die but so so scared. But this is it.
I know I'm done.

I know that I could survive this bad time, but my head gets bad again every 2-3 months and in the last year it's been significantly worse every time it gets bad. I don't do anyone any good by fighting to stay now only to kill myself in six months. The timing is as good as it's ever going to get, I have to go now.
I appreciate any kind thoughts you have for me. I have a thing about lying and this is the only place I can be honest.

I don't want family Reading my previous posts so I will log out on Sunday morning and hopefully will never log in again. About 34 hours left.

 

[anywhere_else]

Being truthful and honest is so important, especially in moments like these.

I'm sorry life has taken you here. These threads will always upset me, but I understand completely. I hope you find peace.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

It's really sad that you've gotten to this point in your life. I hope that whatever happens, you can get to the peace you deserve.

 

[Letgo]

I am sorry everything has come down to this. You will be thought of. Enjoy the time with your friend. I wish you peace and rest. <3

 

[SuffrInSilence]

It feels very surreal. I have a train ticket booked for tomorrow morning. I think there's a part of my head that won't be entirely sure I'm going through with this until I'm actually there.
Almost everything is done, I have to remember to turn off location services on my phone beforehand because a few friends are set up to track my phone (and vice versa) and just in case someone had a bad feeling, I don't need anyone seeing that I'm leaving the city.
it should be around 24 hours now. One day.

 

[Letgo]

Thinking of you. Enjoy the day. <3

 

[Shivali]

 

[soontobedone]

You need to take a train to your cliff?

 

[SuffrInSilence]

You need to take a train to your cliff?

I live in a city, I need to take a train anywhere lol. It's not actually that far, but not a direction I'd have reason to travel in

 

[lookingforsanctuary]

How are you feeling now it's less than 24 hours?

 

[StolenLife]

Goodbye. May your journey be peaceful and painless.

 

[FuneralCry]

Jumping certainly sounds like such a terrifying method to me, I admire those with the courage to end all the suffering in this way. I wish you the best with your plans and I hope that you find the freedom you search for.

 

[Pidgeons_Sparrows]

Im sorry it has come to this. I hope you will not regret your decision during the fall, because at that point you cannot reverse it anymore. Which is why i dont like methods of this character, theres no backing out

 

[leavingsoon99]

If you're serious, I wish you luck and peace. My ctb day is soon. I hope you can gather clarity, nerve, and peace with whatever you decide to do. If you go through with it, I wish you a quick, peaceful transition.

 

[SuffrInSilence]

How are you feeling now it's less than 24 hours?

Surreal. Trying not to think about it all because I'm scared I'll lose my nerve. I know what to do, just one step at a time now. More worried about other people than myself

Jumping certainly sounds like such a terrifying method to me, I admire those with the courage to end all the suffering in this way. I wish you the best with your plans and I hope that you find the freedom you search for.

fear is going to be the biggest struggle I think. Survival instinct. But I only need to be brave for a few seconds. People manage it all the time, it can be done

 

[SilentSadness]

I'm sure I will have the same fate in the future. I hope you find the peace you've missed. Good luck.

 

[CentreMid]

I admire you for your courage to jump. I'm not a fan of heights and could never pull something like that off haha

Anywho, best of luck, and I hope you find peace.

 

[lookingforsanctuary]

What's your plan for the day tomorrow? Are there some things you want to get done or some last experiences? Anything you will miss?

 

[Huntfish34]

I wish you Nothing but the best. Thoughts and prayers in whatever may happen, Godspeed ♥

 

[Jezzibell]

I'm so sorry you have reached this point. We know in ourselves when enough is enough and we're done. I respect your decision and you seem clear of thought. I'm sure you know that whatever life you've lived, you will have left a footprint.

Go well my friend xx

 

[woh6]

I'm sorry life brought you to this. I wish you luck and you'll be in my thoughts.

 

[SVEN]

You have my best wishes and thoughts,weary traveller. I hope you find peace and rest in abundance.

 

[just_so_done]

I'm so sorry for your struggles but I hope you find the peace you're looking for

 

[SuffrInSilence]

What's your plan for the day tomorrow? Are there some things you want to get done or some last experiences? Anything you will miss?

Did my last things today really. Saw my friends and got some unexpected closure from something unplanned that came up (won't elaborate here because it's just not the place).
My lasts now are all personal. Last clothes, last song, last food.
It started to feel real when I left my friends. I'm dreading the pain I know I'm about to cause but so so ready to be done now.

And the world feels really beautiful today and I'm glad of that - I thought it would make me doubt myself and it doesn't. I know there are beautiful things, I know there are good people, and I also know I'm okay with leaving it behind.

Im sorry it has come to this. I hope you will not regret your decision during the fall, because at that point you cannot reverse it anymore. Which is why i dont like methods of this character, theres no backing out

I've been thinking about this comment because I've had this thought before. I probably will have a moment of regret, because survival instincts and fear is very very real. But so what? Why should a few seconds of instinct be more true than years of thought and feeling? This isn't a choice I've made lightly

 

[lookingforsanctuary]

It's lovely that you've been able to experience a lot of goodness and beauty in the world today <3

 

[Tuurngait]

I hope you rest easy and as you said, enjoy your favourite things for the last time.

 

[SuffrInSilence]

12 hours more or less. I'm definitely scared. not of dying but of everything up to the second of dying I think. Feels like no time at all. No more sunsets.

 

[OceanBlue]

I've been thinking about this comment because I've had this thought before. I probably will have a moment of regret, because survival instincts and fear is very very real. But so what? Why should a few seconds of instinct be more true than years of thought and feeling? This isn't a choice I've made lightly

Well said.

I wish the society allowed you a more peaceful way out, but this is brave.

 

[Haruka]

Hi, I'm very sorry to hear you are leaving. My DM is wide open for a chat until you go, I'll respond as fast as I can. Please take this offer up

 

[Pidgeons_Sparrows]

12 hours more or less. I'm definitely scared. not of dying but of everything up to the second of dying I think. Feels like no time at all. No more sunsets.

:/ If you will miss sunsets, are you really sure you want to do this?

If the answer is no, there might be hope

If the answer is yes, I wish you peace..