Suicide ultimatum

[Greyhawk]

I have been thinking for a year that I should kill myself if don't get my shit together. Still haven't done it and my life is a mess. I feel even more like a failure just because I'm still alive.
Do you use suicide as an ultimatum? I mean that if something doesn't happen in your life, you don't achieve something, you'll CTB.

 

[lost in the lilies]

Getting your life in order might be more complicated than just establishing a deadline and trusting that you'll be able to put in all of the work necessary to repair it (or that, even if you do, it goes well and nothing unexpected sets you back). So I would suggest, perhaps ironically, that you be more lax with yourself in that regard and not approach your situation like 'if I don't fix my life by this date' but rather something like 'if I do not see any improvement whatsoever'. It's no easy task. It takes time and it comes with a lot of ups and downs as I'm sure you already know. I think if you truly want to get your act together you'd do better by not thinking in such an extreme of 'things need to be this way within a year'. Just take baby steps and try to be slightly better every day. I know it's cliche but I feel like the use of such a deadline in this particular instance is starting off on the wrong foot if you have your own best interest in mind.

As for me personally, I don't use it so much as an ultimatum but rather a source of 'comfort'. I.e. if I really exhaust all of my options, all of my plans fail or even if things just become unbearable; the option is always there. An exit to whatever situation I might find myself in. Anyway, I sincerely do hope you're able to implement the changes you want. I think the fact you already recognize that changes must be made is a significant step in the right direction, so keep at it & good luck :)

 

[suacide]

I personally treat it like more of a last resort.

If there's a chance anything can get better, if there's something in process, if life is turning around in any kind of way, I'll delay it and earnestly try my best to keep going despite the thoughts. Because at the very least, if it's turning around even in a small way, that's still progress. That's something to be happy about. When things start nosediving it's back in the cards, just in the back of the deck so I can give myself a chance to think it out and for life to show me a sign.
Even if a few things fail, it's still worth not slapping on a due date for yourself to me. I think it's worth giving life a chance, it's not like there's anything to lose by not doing so. Your guidelines don't need to be strict.

For me personally, the day I CTB will be when I have none of those few things left and haven't made any new ones in a while. I don't wanna rot, I want to die happy and beautiful. It's nice to know that I don't have to suffer through all of it once I'm exhausted and alone, i don't have to rot, I can just drift away and it won't hurt anymore. But until I finally run out or the pain becomes unbearable, I think it's worth the struggle.

 

[fallingbehind]

I used to, mine was "In my last year of college Ill get my shit together and magically become a "better person who enjoys life", or else I would ctb. Well, its my last year, so Ive started prepping.

 

[itsgone2]

It's good in theory but SI isn't going to cooperate so easily.

 

[Vlad Tepes]

Yeah I definitely feel like my brain naturally tends towards suicidality just in general. Basically ever since I was a kid my life trajectory always involved a death at my own hands sooner or later. I think for me Ive always fallen back on ctb in a way that really relaxes and calms me, because I know that all this shit is temporary and meaningless, and that if I ever want to, I can instead cross into the realm of eternal nothingness, of infinite peace, so far beyond the neurotic worrying of the mortal world. Ive long since accepted that Im a dreamer, but that dreams dont come true for people like me; that, as the great song by The Smashing Pumpkins goes, I wanted more than life could ever grant me. And, well, Im not settling any time soon. Im not going to have all my most basic hopes and dreams just crumble before my very eyes only to "tough it out" with stupid shit like "it is what it is".

 

[Greyhawk]

Getting your life in order might be more complicated than just establishing a deadline and trusting that you'll be able to put in all of the work necessary to repair it (or that, even if you do, it goes well and nothing unexpected sets you back). So I would suggest, perhaps ironically, that you be more lax with yourself in that regard and not approach your situation like 'if I don't fix my life by this date' but rather something like 'if I do not see any improvement whatsoever'. It's no easy task. It takes time and it comes with a lot of ups and downs as I'm sure you already know. I think if you truly want to get your act together you'd do better by not thinking in such an extreme of 'things need to be this way within a year'. Just take baby steps and try to be slightly better every day. I know it's cliche but I feel like the use of such a deadline in this particular instance is starting off on the wrong foot if you have your own best interest in mind.

As for me personally, I don't use it so much as an ultimatum but rather a source of 'comfort'. I.e. if I really exhaust all of my options, all of my plans fail or even if things just become unbearable; the option is always there. An exit to whatever situation I might find myself in. Anyway, I sincerely do hope you're able to implement the changes you want. I think the fact you already recognize that changes must be made is a significant step in the right direction, so keep at it & good luck :)

This is good advice and I've been trying to change my thinking towards that lately.

 

[FuneralCry]

No, for me it's a positive solution to find true permanent peace from the mistake of existence, no matter what I'll just always prefer to not exist than be tortured in this futile existence for decades longer just to face the agony of old age, for me existence really is the problem and I'll always find it so dreadful and painful to exist, for me non-existence is just the only relief.