I feel like I'm not able to handle my job anymore and was going to go give my two weeks notice and then exit. I have friends and people who will be upset but at the end of the day there is no other solution to my problem. If I don't have a job I have no place to live etc. This post is not very unique I'm sorry to be boring. I'm sure so many people take their life over this same issue. The hardest part about this is that u can't tell anyone and it has to be all secretive. That feeling like, if they only knew how badly I hate my life and want out while the entire time putting on a face like everything is fine. I have mostly survived my life but never really had a life. At age 45 I'm so ready to go.
So many must feel this way... I wish you could get month of rest on disability. Mine turned into 20 years. No one wanted me, at least they liked you. I hope you'll save a 3rd week to enjoy yourself before you nope out of the slave system. I envy your freedom.
I am very much where you are, and at 47 I am just done. I can't envision a future since my life got torn to pieces. Especially since I will be battling biploar 1 with pyschosis for the rest of my life, as well as continual phased of MDD. The depression would hit even when my life was going well and I was functioning, with a job etc. What everything has come to now is makes it even more layered.
I think my soon to be ex husband and son will be relieved to not have to deal with a wife/mother who is mentally ill. I really have been a burden, its not just in my head. Its all just too painful. Its manifesting in physical pain too.
I feel horrible about about the amount of stuff I am leaving behind. I have done my best to sort and get rid of as much as I can, but I have no energy left.
Please forgive my condescending dumb ass... But my heart scream to open this door for you: nutritional deficiencies cause mental illness. B cause nerve pain, exhaustion, psychosis. C cause joint pain, anxiety. Reactive hypoglycemia looks bipolar on a graphic. You're not mentally insane. You worked hard for your family & society fed you toxic crap. You're a wounded caring hero *hugs* You deserve to hear it once before the big sleep. Please forgive me if it was rude. Psychiatry is the worst gaslight by narcs I have ever seen and must stop denying our needs and blaming us for feeling emotions. We're not robots slaves. We have needs. And it's about time they're cared for... You're a sweet suffering fluff... You don't deserve those cold labels & shame.
You deserve to be free!
This has a lot to do with my ctb plan as well. I'm 2020, I lost everything and became homeless. I pulled myself out it and found a job and new place but both are awful. I'm 36. I can't continue like this. No one can or is willing to help me so I'm planning the end. I totally understand your reasons. Many will say it is a dumb reason but are those same people willing to find you a new place to live and pay for it while you sell treatment. No one ever is but always wants to encourage us to continue suffering
You're alive!!! What happened to renting a hotel room & doing a self murder buffet? I'm glad you're doing more research, some ways seemed to be torture with little chance if success (sepuku without friendly decapitation)
Aw... You've been homeless. My worst fear. I'm amazed you found a home and a job. I was given everything on a silver platter as a disabled but I ruined it all like a dunbass... ....
