thesilliestgoose
Life is pointless torture
- Jun 20, 2023
- 22
It facilitates and bewilders me that the general consensus is that suicide is irrational and illogical. I have been suicidal to varying degrees my whole life, but have always had the core feeling of not wanting to be here and the sheer pointlessness of living. When I was a little kid, before I even knew about suicide, I longed to die in a freak accident or for god himself to take me away. I'm no longer religious but was raised in a very Christian house hold. My mom would often talk about the "end times" and the rapture. She was convinced that the rapture was right around the corner and would be any day now and I believed her completely from ages 4-7/8. I would pray multiple times a day that god would hurry up and come take me away. I truly don't know what it feels like and cannot wrap my head around the fact that most people actually want to live. I look around at all the destruction that humans have caused on this earth and continue to do with little to no regard for the earth with live on. Humans are literally the plague/ virus of the Earth that the earth continuously tries to rid itself of through natural disasters. If humans never had existed the earth would be in an astronomically better state. We are so greedy, selfish and downright cruel beings filled with hate and destruction. Everywhere I look I see people being cruel to each other, animals, earth, and really anything we can get our hands on. I know that there is a lot of good in the world too but it's way too small of an amount comparatively. I truly despise being a human. To me suicide is very logical but I see how it wouldn't be for everyone, yet I thought it would me more common and accepted if that is the route you choose to take. If someone is consistently miserable why would they continue to keep living a life of misery? And if someone you love was suicidal and consistently miserable with life, how could you dare to tell them to keep on going? That seems incredibly selfish and cruel to me. The only reason someone would have to them another to continue living is for their own personal comfort. At it's core it's because they don't want to deal with the discomfort of losing you and being alone. I could never tell someone to continue living if I knew they had consistently wanted death and hate being here.