3spiral
⒠ׅ ♪ ’’
- Apr 22, 2026
- 13
a teenage boy tried to ctb by shooting himself with a gun on the stomach during test and when i commented about this with my mom she just said he should've shot his head because now his parents are gonna have to waste their money with his health.
like, wow, i don't think there's anything worse she could've ever said. my mom is the first person to always judge people who try or have comitted suicide. i get it that people consider it to be selfish because you are leaving people who are still alive to deal with your loss and the possible trauma but judging the ways or reasons someone chooses to do that is fucking ridiculous. expecting someone who is in deep suffering to stay in it because of you also makes you selfish, asshole. especially if your biggest concern is MONEY instead of the wellbeing of a fucking child. this was obviously not a real attempt to ctb, no one shoots their stomach in front of other people to kill themselves, he was just trying to get attention to ask for help. do you simply not have a single strand of empathy in your body?
this makes me think if she would say the same if it was me. i always think that if i decided to ctb she would become angry at ME for making HER suffer even if she made me cry when i asked for help before. i know i wouldnt be here to see the results of my actions but this is why i think that it would be better if i could make it look like an accident. i just think it would make it less worse, make it look like a tragedy rather than a mistake so that i can make people less mad. some could say i shouldn't be worrying about that since i would be dead but i can't not think about everyone who didn't choose to be involved in my life (family) and i don't think it's worth making them angry for no reason. my mother being angry at my death won't actually make her learn anything, it just comes to terrible emotions.
i know i shouldn't be saying this and that i dont actually want that but there's a sort of comfort in wishing to be alone because then no one's emotions are dependant on your life's success, wellbeing and wether you are alive or not.
like, wow, i don't think there's anything worse she could've ever said. my mom is the first person to always judge people who try or have comitted suicide. i get it that people consider it to be selfish because you are leaving people who are still alive to deal with your loss and the possible trauma but judging the ways or reasons someone chooses to do that is fucking ridiculous. expecting someone who is in deep suffering to stay in it because of you also makes you selfish, asshole. especially if your biggest concern is MONEY instead of the wellbeing of a fucking child. this was obviously not a real attempt to ctb, no one shoots their stomach in front of other people to kill themselves, he was just trying to get attention to ask for help. do you simply not have a single strand of empathy in your body?
this makes me think if she would say the same if it was me. i always think that if i decided to ctb she would become angry at ME for making HER suffer even if she made me cry when i asked for help before. i know i wouldnt be here to see the results of my actions but this is why i think that it would be better if i could make it look like an accident. i just think it would make it less worse, make it look like a tragedy rather than a mistake so that i can make people less mad. some could say i shouldn't be worrying about that since i would be dead but i can't not think about everyone who didn't choose to be involved in my life (family) and i don't think it's worth making them angry for no reason. my mother being angry at my death won't actually make her learn anything, it just comes to terrible emotions.
i know i shouldn't be saying this and that i dont actually want that but there's a sort of comfort in wishing to be alone because then no one's emotions are dependant on your life's success, wellbeing and wether you are alive or not.