Despondent

Despondent

Archangel
Dec 20, 2019
6,777
Suicide is cowardly. You're given a beautiful life. You can achieve beautiful opportunities. Things get better, even if it might not seem like it. You only live once and this would be such a selfish decision. You would only be thinking about yourself and not those around you. It is we that has to carry all kinds of emotions and the upset when you leave.

But hey, let's end the stigma :).

Closely enough, I bet you thought I was some pro-lific mess spilling out the "beliefs" that I hold somewhere deep-down in my cold-heart.

Well, I'm still me. Everything above is nonsense. Earlier today as I was exploring the forum, I saw this quote and it shifted my mindset. In a good way of course. Something along the lines that those who want to take their own lives are intelligent. They face the true reality. Essentially, those who wish to live are denial. Our eyes are wide open to everything while they're soaked up into their own perfect but maybe not-so-perfect reality. Either way, they're oblivious.

Aside from those who act on decisions impulsively such as suicide; a permanent decision that we're always reminded of.. there's so many of us who try to exhaust all options. There's those of us who think of our families, our friends, and no. Even though we CHOOSE on taking our life, no, we're not always happy or certain on the decision. Mental health services can be the biggest letdowns. One time I used a chatting services, and I was told to "come back" when I have "things ready." Why? Because I was having ideation and it wasn't "that big of a deal" I guess. When are we going to accept that these kinds of services are not always enough. And by we, I mean those who wish to spread awareness on mental illness, then turn a blind eye when they hear the "S" word. Mind you, it can be an awesome thing with what some of these services can do for people. It just doesn't always work for everyone. Meds don't always do the full duties when we try to get better. They don't take away the pain in the past from which we've felt. Again, maybe in some cases they can help to alleviate this. How are we going to openly talk about suicide without getting hospitalized? Without receiving a, "I'm concerned for your safety"? I understand why these are "necessary" ( :meh: ). We're still trying to end the stigma around mental illness. Even with illnesses people feel this need to be concerned or keep a close watch.

I could really go on all day.
 
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I

Iwantoutrightnow

Experienced
Jun 27, 2019
274
My experience of mental health services is that they fuel people's desire to cbt. They have always talked to me like I'm stupid and not worthy. Guilt tripping you into compliance, when they realise that your family connections aren't strong enough to stop you they use themselves as the source of guilt - 'If you kill yourself then I'll have failed in my job/I'll be held accountable' - they don't actually care, they want their statistics to look good. Then when you don't cbt but are not making progress either they discharge you because your lack of recovery doesn't look good for them. They're a joke. The last mental health professional I saw said 'I think it's inevitable that you will kill yourself but don't do it today because I've seen you today and I'll be in trouble so think of someone else other than yourself for at least the next 24 hours' - heartless and a waste of time!
 
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TheSoulless

TheSoulless

I'd like to fly but my wings have been so denied
Jan 7, 2020
1,055
They had us in the first half, not gonna lie.
 
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Tintypographer

Tintypographer

I am done as of 4-21-2023. Somewhere I am no more
Apr 29, 2020
471
I could read your writing all day. I wonder all the time why no one will accept that cognitive behavioral therapy isn't the end of all things. That some people can't simply let things go and choose to embrace life or understand that their potential is greatest ahead of them or that they will be one of the millions of people who regret the choice to end their life and want to live.

One thing that I actually hope my catching the bus will do is to become part of the undeniable statistic to the anti suicide community that a large part of the full scope of mental health and support of humanity is failing. That the "help yourself" and cognitive therapy and anti depressants actually arent even approaching the solution for curing suicide as an epidemic.

I want them to know that the "take it or leave it approach" and "time to let the last go and become someone new" isn't the solution no matter how dogmatic they believe. I want to join Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain and Robin Williams in showing that you can be a full success surrounded by friends and people who adore you and still be so sad that no amount of psychiatry and psychology can fix things.

I can't wait to be the statistic of the person who had it all with my life and family and normal life and success and still commit suicide and leave behind with no regrets the knowledge that I hated my life and nothing could make it better for me.

I wonder how many millions of us making an irreversible "selfish" decisions will it take to reassess the view that mental health is more messed up than imagined.
I could read your writing all day. I wonder all the time why no one will accept that cognitive behavioral therapy isn't the end of all things. That some people can't simply let things go and choose to embrace life or understand that their potential is greatest ahead of them or that they will be one of the millions of people who regret the choice to end their life and want to live.

One thing that I actually hope my catching the bus will do is to become part of the undeniable statistic to the anti suicide community that a large part of the full scope of mental health and support of humanity is failing. That the "help yourself" and cognitive therapy and anti depressants actually arent even approaching the solution for curing suicide as an epidemic.

I want them to know that the "take it or leave it approach" and "time to let the last go and become someone new" isn't the solution no matter how dogmatic they believe. I want to join Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain and Robin Williams in showing that you can be a full success surrounded by friends and people who adore you and still be so sad that no amount of psychiatry and psychology can fix things.

I can't wait to be the statistic of the person who had it all with my life and family and normal life and success and still commit suicide and leave behind with no regrets the knowledge that I hated my life and nothing could make it better for me.

I wonder how many millions of us making an irreversible "selfish" decisions will it take to reassess the view that mental health is more messed up than imagined.
 
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DoNotLet2

DoNotLet2

Wizard
Oct 14, 2019
684
I mean it's blaming the victim.
Did I choose my life? Did I say "I want a hard life with unsolvable problems"? No. Those are the things that happened to me. I am trying to fix it all, fight against it but I'm not omnipotent! I think many of you can relate. And guess what we are being blamed for not trying hard enough. It's insane!
 
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S

streams20

Member
Mar 10, 2020
10
Suicide is cowardly. You're given a beautiful life. You can achieve beautiful opportunities. Things get better, even if it might not seem like it. You only live once and this would be such a selfish decision. You would only be thinking about yourself and not those around you. It is we that has to carry all kinds of emotions and the upset when you leave.

But hey, let's end the stigma :).

Closely enough, I bet you thought I was some pro-lific mess spilling out the "beliefs" that I hold somewhere deep-down in my cold-heart.

Well, I'm still me. Everything above is nonsense. Earlier today as I was exploring the forum, I saw this quote and it shifted my mindset. In a good way of course. Something along the lines that those who want to take their own lives are intelligent. They face the true reality. Essentially, those who wish to live are denial. Our eyes are wide open to everything while they're soaked up into their own perfect but maybe not-so-perfect reality. Either way, they're oblivious.

Aside from those who act on decisions impulsively such as suicide; a permanent decision that we're always reminded of.. there's so many of us who try to exhaust all options. There's those of us who think of our families, our friends, and no. Even though we CHOOSE on taking our life, no, we're not always happy or certain on the decision. Mental health services can be the biggest letdowns. One time I used a chatting services, and I was told to "come back" when I have "things ready." Why? Because I was having ideation and it wasn't "that big of a deal" I guess. When are we going to accept that these kinds of services are not always enough. And by we, I mean those who wish to spread awareness on mental illness, then turn a blind eye when they hear the "S" word. Mind you, it can be an awesome thing with what some of these services can do for people. It just doesn't always work for everyone. Meds don't always do the full duties when we try to get better. They don't take away the pain in the past from which we've felt. Again, maybe in some cases they can help to alleviate this. How are we going to openly talk about suicide without getting hospitalized? Without receiving a, "I'm concerned for your safety"? I understand why these are "necessary" ( :meh: ). We're still trying to end the stigma around mental illness. Even with illnesses people feel this need to be concerned or keep a close watch.

I could really go on all day.

When you're in the darkness, you can't see the light. I've been there. It's how long you stay or get stuck in the darkness that matters. Some get out, others do not. This forum though is light and I believe those who get stuck will find their way out because of it.
 
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UberYeets

UberYeets

Humans are mercenaries by nature, loyal by will.
Apr 7, 2020
44
So many like minded individuals here, I think I'm going to kill myself in joy haha :smiling:
 
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Ky204

Ky204

Member
Sep 3, 2019
97
No one asks for this life so to ask someone to stick around and 'fight' for this shit existence is the real selfish thing imo, not the other way around. Why would my family and loved ones want to watch me be miserable for the remainder of my life? What would anyone gain from that? The reality is that not everyone can overcome their struggles and they don't deserve to be shamed for wanting to end their suffering. It's bullshit to call us cowards, taking your life takes a huge amount of guts if anything.
 
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Pryras

Pryras

Last hope
Feb 11, 2020
524
Pulling a trigger, jumping, setting up your poison concoction takes a lot of courage. I don't understand why people view suicide as cowardly, it can be incredibly difficult to overcome SI and you're making an extremely personal and permanent decision. It's recognizing that the pain you're experiencing is much greater than staying alive. Good things CAN and WILL happen overtime but it's your choice wether it's worth the pain along the way.

I live within 200m from an active railroad, I can hear the train go by every night as it shakes the foundations of my home. I could never imagine CTB by train and don't have the courage to try. When people choose methods like this, my heart sinks and I can only imagine how much PAIN and SUFFERING they were in to overcome their fears and end their own pain. Very courageous and the furthest thing from cowardly.
 
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T

TimeToBiteTheDust

Visionary
Nov 7, 2019
2,322
Life is ours. We decide on our lives.
 
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UberYeets

UberYeets

Humans are mercenaries by nature, loyal by will.
Apr 7, 2020
44
This thread hits home especially due to the stigmatized nature of the topic. Too many people project their own insecurities, ignorance and delusions about the nature of seeking such an all encompassing conclusion to their existence. The ostracization, social isolation and emptiness experienced by these people oft cannot be even comprehended by others or be abbreviated through the medium of human language itself. As an adult, I am to subsist on short term fixes(out of sheer despair and continued traumatic events snowballing) and escapes from my own torment and psychosomatic damnation and to contend with the woeful and half-assed attempts of friends, family and so called professionals to minimise and devalue the validity of my experience as a human being as some subhuman ingrate with the iq of a dying leporous baboon. Existence is a raw deal, you are only in your prime for what? 20% of your life if that and a decreasing quality of life after that, on top of that planned genetic obscelecence I have to be programmed and conditioned by mass media and apps to have a reactive and nigh schizoid personality structure so that I can be easily manipulated by those in more fortunate positions, and if that weren't enough, a litany of psychological 'issues' that are only the natural reaction to the nature of this accursed realm. I am to suffer for decades in silence just to appease the egos of those who dare speak without having the slightest clue as to what they are saying, blinded by dogma, deafened by stigma and drowning in conformity, they flail as they attempt to satisfy their inner reward circuits for a while. I am no plaything of my social sphere of influence and a mere tax cattle of the state, I have worth as a sovereign individual and as that, I have the right to rescind this contract. They need to know pain, then speak.
 
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G

GoneGoneGone

Enlightened
Apr 1, 2020
1,141
My experience of mental health services is that they fuel people's desire to cbt. They have always talked to me like I'm stupid and not worthy. Guilt tripping you into compliance, when they realise that your family connections aren't strong enough to stop you they use themselves as the source of guilt - 'If you kill yourself then I'll have failed in my job/I'll be held accountable' - they don't actually care, they want their statistics to look good. Then when you don't cbt but are not making progress either they discharge you because your lack of recovery doesn't look good for them. They're a joke. The last mental health professional I saw said 'I think it's inevitable that you will kill yourself but don't do it today because I've seen you today and I'll be in trouble so think of someone else other than yourself for at least the next 24 hours' - heartless and a waste of time!
After my failed attempt I ended up with the organization that treats the 'worst' cases, and then I was told I was too unstable to receive any form of therapy, and that medications would not help. I feel like this is a ploy to say I haven't become more stable on my own and to say they cannot treat me, bill my insurer, and pass me on. Sooo nothing to do.
 
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D

Desky

Member
May 15, 2020
35
Call me a coward if all I want is really lasting peace from my diseased body and racy mind.... A beautiful life is in the eye of the beholder. Why not remove that label from someone's couragous action towards radical peace.. they may be in the worst hell that you've never been through. And wanting them to stay in a concentration camp of sorts doesn't make that person a coward. My view.
 
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D

Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,914
Suicide is cowardly. You're given a beautiful life. You can achieve beautiful opportunities. Things get better, even if it might not seem like it. You only live once and this would be such a selfish decision. You would only be thinking about yourself and not those around you. It is we that has to carry all kinds of emotions and the upset when you leave.

But hey, let's end the stigma :).

Closely enough, I bet you thought I was some pro-lific mess spilling out the "beliefs" that I hold somewhere deep-down in my cold-heart.

Well, I'm still me. Everything above is nonsense. Earlier today as I was exploring the forum, I saw this quote and it shifted my mindset. In a good way of course. Something along the lines that those who want to take their own lives are intelligent. They face the true reality. Essentially, those who wish to live are denial. Our eyes are wide open to everything while they're soaked up into their own perfect but maybe not-so-perfect reality. Either way, they're oblivious.

Aside from those who act on decisions impulsively such as suicide; a permanent decision that we're always reminded of.. there's so many of us who try to exhaust all options. There's those of us who think of our families, our friends, and no. Even though we CHOOSE on taking our life, no, we're not always happy or certain on the decision. Mental health services can be the biggest letdowns. One time I used a chatting services, and I was told to "come back" when I have "things ready." Why? Because I was having ideation and it wasn't "that big of a deal" I guess. When are we going to accept that these kinds of services are not always enough. And by we, I mean those who wish to spread awareness on mental illness, then turn a blind eye when they hear the "S" word. Mind you, it can be an awesome thing with what some of these services can do for people. It just doesn't always work for everyone. Meds don't always do the full duties when we try to get better. They don't take away the pain in the past from which we've felt. Again, maybe in some cases they can help to alleviate this. How are we going to openly talk about suicide without getting hospitalized? Without receiving a, "I'm concerned for your safety"? I understand why these are "necessary" ( :meh: ). We're still trying to end the stigma around mental illness. Even with illnesses people feel this need to be concerned or keep a close watch.

I could really go on all day.
Eloquently written.
It's fear.
The will to end the stigma is overcome by the existential fear that comes with facing the concept of suicide. Only when you stand there yourself can you face it. And no one really wants to be in that position, so people turn away even as they say they want to understand.
No one wants to look into the abyss, because as we know from the quote, look into it for too long and it looks back at you.
 
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