Before I begin, I'd like both of you to know that I've read many of your posts & often agree with them. I admire your points of view, but I'd like to clear up some misconceptions about suicide hotlines.
I have chronic major depressive disorder & have had issues with suicidal ideation & attempts since my pre-teens. I am now middle-aged. I've made no secret about the fact that I once worked at a suicide hotline. I did so after one of my best friends completed her suicide. This made me want to help others from having to go through becoming the wreck I'd been in the fallout of my friend's death by helping to save the lives of those in desperation. So, I'd like to address some misconceptions about the hotlines, at least in the US.
My main gripe with these hotlines is how they are propelled as a panacea, l can personally understand perfectly well why being told to call a stranger to hear them utilise their active listening skills as a single broad-stroke remedy is offensive to many. I'm sure many operators are good people doing good things but the reality is many folk needed listening to long before that stage and for them it's often way too late to be told to simply ring a number and chat to a stranger and expect it to be much use.
Calling a hotline is
NOT meant to be a cure all by any means. Hotlines are there to diffuse situations when people are in imminent crisis & offer advice based on the tools provided to the volunteers. This might include suggestions such as how to obtain financial help, food assistance, counseling, find AA meetings, locate homeless shelters, soup kitchens or other shelters, nearby emergency rooms or crisis centers & a variety of other resources.
They
are also there to listen; however, because of the volunteer shortage, that time cannot be unlimited. When I worked there, my shift was six hours long & I had one partner. Some nights, I was the only person working. My office covered half of the state (not a small state) with a local number & the national hotline (which could roll over from another US region if it wasn't answered on time).
I can tell you I was not a rule follower in the sense of limiting the time I spent with a caller if s/he was in a real crisis. I'd stay on the phone for as long as they needed me. Then, I tried to give the best advice I knew how.
Yes, a lot of volunteers are college students so they didn't have the life experience to draw from like I did. But I know I helped some people. I also know there were callers who were pissed off at me no matter how I tried to help them, but there's only so much a person can do in that situation. The hotline is only meant to be a backstop until actual help can be found.
I absolutely agree the system needs to be changed/fixed. However, some of those changes can't be implemented unless they have more funding & more volunteers (the people who answer calls are paid nothing). I don't think there should be a so-called "script" (there isn't really one). They are more like guidelines to prevent alienating callers, or offending them.
The goal is to help the caller in some manner without having them hang up on you.
The volunteers should be trained better on how to deal with suicidal people. In all honesty, most are under qualified to deal with these situations & volunteers should be trained counselors at the very least. But that costs money, which they don't have, or is unattractive to most professionals.
There are many incorrect assumptions about the suicidal people. Examples:
- Suicidal people don't want to die. They want help and/or attention. They want someone to listen to them
- Suicidal feeling is a temporary issue. They will feel better if we tell them: we understand, it must be hard, ...etc
- Suicidal people won't attempt if they don't have a plan or a tool (e.g. gun)
- Suicidal people won't talk/call if they truly wanted to kill themselves
That's why they don't do much to help. In a perfect world, the suicidal hotlines would ask for the reason and try to help based on the reason itself. There are common reasons to CTB:
- Mental illness
- Financial Crisis
- Loss of loved ones
- Act of violence (e.g. sexual assault)
- In case of kids/teenagers: bullying, abusive parents, ..etc
Government is not very effective in addressing the above solutions but can improve if they think suicide is serious and must be prevented (hint: they don't)
Workers are trained to take every call as a serious crisis. The questions asked about plans & whether or not they currently have the means is to determine the lethality. Is the caller going to step away from the gun? If not, do emergency services need to be involved?
Like I mentioned earlier, the generic phrasing is more of a tactic to prevent alienation or offending a caller. It's not meant to sound dismissive, although I know it does. It's also a stalling tactic, as they are searching for names & numbers of resources that could help the caller.
People working the hotlines know that reason for suicidal ideation do matter & do utilize such information when it's made known to them (or they should be). They don't ask because it's not up to them to assume why the caller is feeling the way s/he does. The caller isn't required to reveal anything s/he does not wish to & asking about it could be considered an invasion of privacy.
Anyhow, I hope that helps some. If you have any more questions, I'll do my best to answer them. I can only do so based on my training & my experiences.
For those of you who have called & had bad experiences with the person you spoke with, I'm truly sorry if you didn't feel heard. I'm sorry if you didn't receive the help you needed or expected. They
are there to try & help.