Well you are right I am not used to being on my own.
She married me with context that she will help me with my depression but 3 years down the line I am here alone, struggling with life.
I don't understand how that is deceitful, but I do know that Borderline can distort our perception of others, ourselves, and the world, so perhaps that is what is going on here.
I know it's really painful, I understand the struggle. But I do think it is also worth taking some time to reflect on this, and try to understand that you can't expect a loved one to take on that responsibility alone.
Most of the population cannot help others with mental health, including mental health professionals, so why was your wife expected to? Yes you took vows, but it doesn't mean it's just down to your wife to help you - do you know what I mean?
It's important to try to view things from others perspective, too. I bet she found it incredibly difficult to try to help you. You know yourself it's really hard to suffer like this
Perhaps you need some time to yourself, to better understand yourself, and find ways to be by yourself, and help yourself - if you want to help yourself, that is. I know not everyone wants help, but you sound like you do.
I hope your pain eases a little, even if it's just for a little while
I wish you the best
If his gonna-be-ex-wife allowed me to ever have a conversation with them, I would reassure them over and over how much he loved them and talked about them and how they were his world. They were always more than enough for him. He struggled so much with himself, and his gonna-be-ex-wife cheated on him and emotionally abused him (blamed her cheating for him being autistic and blaming him because their oldest daughter ((8 years old)) was autistic. She was a nightmare to him. 
