Suicide by jumping from the 25th floor

[WastedKun]

Why? Well, to be short - total lack of motivation to live, to study, to make friends, even simply to talk to people. I'm completely asocial, in my 22 I don't have any friends, I'm socially akward, every my attempt to talk to someone is just cringe and pathetic. My studies at my university in Europe (I'm a foreign student) are C O M P L E T E L Y fucked. So many failed and unpassed exams, so many retakes, and reretakes, and rereretakes... I can't believe that I became such a lazy animal in such a short perion of time, and this pandemic even worsened it. It was such a good chance to get out of this fucking Russia, to live a decent life (even with this asociality).. and I just wasted it. Moreover, my parents don't really have money to pay for my university anymore. And to make things worse, I've been suffering from severe OCD for more than 5 years. Horrible obsessive thoughts are torturing me literally every minute. And I know myself - I'm too cowardly to start a therapy since it requires you to face your obsessive thoughts. And antidepressants, an "easy" way of treating OCD... they just don't work for me, even after a whole year of taking them. I still have obsessions in my head every fucking minute.
Even my mom admits it - I don't want anything from this life.. only lying in bed and watching youtube all day. She is right. this is so pathetic...

Now let's get to business. The only realistic way of suicide that I see for myself is jumping from a balcony at the highest story of my apartment building, the 25th floor. SN and other substances are often discussed here but honestly, I don't see the point for myself because I almost don't have any time alone, and I doubt that ordering SN and additional necessary substances is possible for me now. So, there is quite a limited area of asphalt on the place where I'm supposed to land, it is surrounded by dirt and parked cars. If I land on a car or on dirt (even though it's not really soft), will my chances of immediate death be significantly lower? And also... am I more likely to land with my head first if I jump backwards or forwards? It's a balcony though, it's really difficult to jump forwards from it...

Anyway, I'm thankful to anyone who will reply to this post. Sorry for bad grammar.

 

[Ender]

I believe you would hit your head first if you do it backwards. By doing it forwards, you would be turning over. I wish peace hugs you eternally though. I right with you, I'm ready to end it all myself.

 

[WastedKun]

I believe you would hit your head first if you do it backwards. By doing it forwards, you would be turning over. I wish peace hugs you eternally though. I right with you, I'm ready to end it all myself.

Thank you.

 

[Kramer]

I believe you would hit your head first if you do it backwards. By doing it forwards, you would be turning over. I wish peace hugs you eternally though. I right with you, I'm ready to end it all myself.

But then you won't see the impact. You'd fall and suddenly you wouldn't.

 

[awfullife]

Have you tried really high dose SSRI for the OCD?
Like 40mg Escitalopram or 300mg Sertraline?

 

[setomikey]

Hello!

I think that from that high it wouldn't really matter where you would land..even falling from the third or fourth floor is quite lethal so I don't think that some dirt would save anyone falling from the 25 floor.

Also, I really don't intend to intrude or upset you in any way...But did you consider any other options? According to what you wrote, your situation is bad but also, probably nothing is keeping you there. By this I mean, that have you considered moving to a different country, get a job, and just chill, have fun, away from all that mess? Couldn't that work for you?
(For example, that is exactly what I would do right now, but I am in no position to do so)

 

[lucacaro]

Going off the suicide wiki 25 floors up should be good. It says "If falling down more than 100 m, immediate death should be certain." I think at that height dirt would hardly make a difference (like how from high up water feels like concrete) and well cars are made of metal so... I think it could work. (I can't say with certainty because... I'm just some random person, ya know?)

Have you checked out the suicide wiki yourself? I think that could probably give you some info to make you feel more confident.

 

[WastedKun]

But then you won't see the impact. You'd fall and suddenly you wouldn't.

My plan is to seat on the ledge, lean backwards and release legs. It doesn't really matter whether I see the ground or not, the point is to not land on your butt, because then head won't hit the ground and death will be far from immediate, even though the chance of it is quite low.

Have you tried really high dose SSRI for the OCD?
Like 40mg Escitalopram or 300mg Sertraline?

Both. You just mentioned exact antidepressants that I've been taking.

Hello!

I think that from that high it wouldn't really matter where you would land..even falling from the third or fourth floor is quite lethal so I don't think that some dirt would save anyone falling from the 25 floor.

Also, I really don't intend to intrude or upset you in any way...But did you consider any other options? According to what you wrote, your situation is bad but also, probably nothing is keeping you there. By this I mean, that have you considered moving to a different country, get a job, and just chill, have fun, away from all that mess? Couldn't that work for you?
(For example, that is exactly what I would do right now, but I am in no position to do so)

I understand your point, but I just know what waits for me if I live. I'll be expelled from my uni, maybe I'll find some kind of a low-payed job here, live an absolutely empty life (because I have anhedonia, an absolute absence of motivation to do anything with my life), with depression and OCD. What's the point? this can't even be called a life.

Going off the suicide wiki 25 floors up should be good. It says "If falling down more than 100 m, immediate death should be certain." I think at that height dirt would hardly make a difference (like how from high up water feels like concrete) and well cars are made of metal so... I think it could work. (I can't say with certainty because... I'm just some random person, ya know?)

Have you checked out the suicide wiki yourself? I think that could probably give you some info to make you feel more confident

Going off the suicide wiki 25 floors up should be good. It says "If falling down more than 100 m, immediate death should be certain." I think at that height dirt would hardly make a difference (like how from high up water feels like concrete) and well cars are made of metal so... I think it could work. (I can't say with certainty because... I'm just some random person, ya know?)

Have you checked out the suicide wiki yourself? I think that could probably give you some info to make you feel more confident.

I have, but I also wanted to look for diiferent opinions.

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

I wouldn't recommend it, the implications you'd have to deal with if you survived the fall would be far worse than whatever Hell you're currently in. I'd look for a more humane method that doesn't risk you being disabled for life.

 

[Kramer]

I've done Exposure therapy. It was awful.

 

[Intotheflames]

To me I admire anyone who is able to do what I can't do. If your chosen method is jumping you are no coward to me since I couldn't even do it in my dream.