Method Suicide by hanging ('long drop' variety): advise needed

[Sir Otwudcul]

I plan to 'long drop' hang myself on (what appears to be) a maintenance platform of the local Ferris wheel. The Ferris wheel itself is situated in a local city park, which is usually gets crowded during weekend evenings, but I've been there on Saturday, during the day hours and saw maybe a few pedestrians pass me by on their business. I think its safe to assume that if I go there at morning, there would be even less people (I will test that, of course).

I plan to climb up the leg (I forgot the technical term for that) marked in red, because this is the only part of the wheel that's not behind a two meters tall fence. After that, I plan to anchor the rope around the three points I marked in green and jump off the platform. I consulted the Procedure for Military Executions manual and it appears to recommend a 246.3 cm drop length for people who weight 54.4 kg or less. I think I weight around 65-67 kg myself, but I choose to reference this weight point in particular, because it's been a long time since the last measurement and my goal here is the maximum possible lethality, which could only be achieved by the drop length sufficient to rip my head off. My questions as of now:
1. What's the most secure kind of knot for the anchor?
2. Is there a jump position that'll keep my body during the fall as stable, as possible? There's a few structural elements behind and near the platform, and since I choose a 2.5 meters drop length, I'm afraid that my body will tilt/sway enough to come into contact with those. This can lead to all kinds of unwanted outcomes.
3. After anchoring the rope, I plan to put the hangman's knot on my neck and drop the loose, 'free' rope length off the platform, as to minimize the possibility of it catching onto something. No issues with that? Every detail matters.
4. What are the sturdiest rope materials? I want to make 100% sure the rope's structural integrity wouldn't be an issue.
5. What's the best widely available (legal) substance to calm my mind & nerves before the jump? I, of course, considered alcohol, but alcohol intoxiacation has the downside of affecting coordination and I am clumsy enough as it is. Wouldn't want to fall off the leg during my climb upwards and end up behind the fence.

 

[getoutgirl]

Hi
Sorry you are at that point. I imagine you have considered this a lot, given the thought to planning and questions you've put into it, and that this is not an impulse thing but rather something you really see as your only option. If so, still, sorry that it is :/
I don't think I can help with those questions, I just have no idea honestly.

I would ask however, why a ferris wheel?
I get you want an anchor point high enough to drop from but... that's pretty public and even if there is little people around on a saturday morning, quite a lot would see it, and if word spreads soon more in the time it would take for someone to climb and lower your body and all. It doesn't sound like a pleasant thing at all to do in public If I'm honest, it could traumatise some people. If you have your specific reasons for why it'd have to be there... else i dunno

Not judging you here for it, first and foremost I feel you and that you were driven to this. Also don't know for when you plan this, but if it is soon please use this place for any vent or chatting or anything that can make these days easier. in any case lots of hugs to ya<33

 

[Sir Otwudcul]

Hi
Sorry you are at that point. I imagine you have considered this a lot, given the thought to planning and questions you've put into it, and that this is not an impulse thing but rather something you really see as your only option. If so, still, sorry that it is :/
I don't think I can help with those questions, I just have no idea honestly.

I would ask however, why a ferris wheel?
I get you want an anchor point high enough to drop from but... that's pretty public and even if there is little people around on a saturday morning, quite a lot would see it, and if word spreads soon more in the time it would take for someone to climb and lower your body and all. It doesn't sound like a pleasant thing at all to do in public If I'm honest, it could traumatise some people. If you have your specific reasons for why it'd have to be there... else i dunno

Not judging you here for it, first and foremost I feel you and that you were driven to this. Also don't know for when you plan this, but if it is soon please use this place for any vent or chatting or anything that can make these days easier. in any case lots of hugs to ya<33

Traumatize? Some people? I don't give myself to such thoughts, because I had my fair share of social interaction before I put on a carefully devised mask and shut myself off to the outside world. Sure, seeing a random person commit suicide can give someone of especially emotional disposition a major fright that would last a couple months max, but for other people, it'll be just another topic to discuss with friends and post a few videos about with a fake, concerned expression and some bullcrap speculation as to why I did it. Some might shoot videos and take photos at the site to later show it to their pals. Here. In reality, that's how most human beings behave in such situations. Because, speaking truthfully, people don't give a duck about other people — everyone is egotistical in nature and chases their own desires, death of anyone but you and the closest of your relatives in this context is considered as something mundane, boring even.

As to why I chose the Ferris wheel... Well, I don't have that many options in a small, third world country town where I 'live'. I considered all the other possibilities at first, of course. Scouted the town, looking for some unfinished, abandoned construction sites and other secluded objects that might serve the purpose and found none. There's a lot of abandoned buildings, but those didn't have the space necessary to do what I need. Just jumping off the roof of a building is too risky in my opinion — I can easily come into contact with the wall/window frame/whatever which might slow down the fall enough for me to experience asphyxiation and I want to avoid unnecessary suffering if possible. And, most importantly, I don't want even the slightest possibility of survival to remain, however miniscule it might seem. Ending up a mangled creep, not able to sustain myself, in my situation, would be worse than any fictional hell or purgatory ever devised by humankind. I would surely go mad! I'm struggling to retain my sanity as it is and I want to die while I still resemble what I consider to be myself.