Adagio
New Member
- Nov 11, 2024
- 3
I cannot solve that 'equation' : I have been agressive against goods. I fear I may become more aggressive over time. I feel my suffering is making me dangerous, which push me to consider suicide as the most perfect way to get rid of it. I don't have any certitudes, but it seems to me tangible. I'm on the verge of imploding, I need to let off some steam.
I wasn't born to be bad. I wasn't born to be violent. I wasn't born to suffer. I don't want to be a bad person. I don't want to be vile, repulsive, unhealthy, malicious... I don't want to be trash, a reject. Don't tell me I'm imagining things! There are tens of thousands of people in France who are like this! And based on my own experience (scratching a car with a rock), I'm convinced I'm not being irrational. To my great dismay, the society I live in doesn't care about preventing heteroaggressive behavior. I'm stunned by so much inhumanity on one hand-I'm violent-and on the other-no one helps me. Society doesn't solve my misplaced behavior, it just punishes it. It's true that punishment is necessary to make people accountable, but never without treatment by providing real solutions, never without establishing the causes of violence. What can I do? I could have been registered in judiciary base but I would never have received the help I need. Once you act, it's too late; you have to react before. I'm full of shame. It turns out there are no limits to horror.
I damaged someone else's property, so it wasn't an impulsive phobia. What will it be next time? By killing myself, I protect society and I protect myself, failing to be protected by psychiatry (which only knows how to lock people up, like in prison, but we don't resort to psychiatry to be punished but to be treated). The human condition seems infernal to me. I can't believe Rutger Bregman in his book Humanity: life seems to be a Nazi concentration camp from which I want to escape. Miserable humanity of which I am a part against my will. I have no regrets about leaving it. It haunt me, it disgust me. I wanted to live happily. Now, I am convinced that my future outlook is threatening; my future is potentially one of mediocrity. That's why, in spite of myself (but without shirking responsibility), I'm going to try to commit suicide. I have no regrets. I would have prefered to not to be born.
《 Existence is nothing but an imposition and a curse. It's actually scary as to how much suffering is happening in the world. It's unimaginable. There's nothing beautiful about life being full of suffering and hardship. There really isn't. It's all just cruelty. 》
- a SS forum user
Losing consciousness irreversibly. Contrary to what we've been told all our lives, death has no drawbacks, as long as we are, obviously, our own murderer.
I point out that this message only exposes one reason for committing suicide; however, suicide is caused by various motives, both individual, familial and societal.
I wasn't born to be bad. I wasn't born to be violent. I wasn't born to suffer. I don't want to be a bad person. I don't want to be vile, repulsive, unhealthy, malicious... I don't want to be trash, a reject. Don't tell me I'm imagining things! There are tens of thousands of people in France who are like this! And based on my own experience (scratching a car with a rock), I'm convinced I'm not being irrational. To my great dismay, the society I live in doesn't care about preventing heteroaggressive behavior. I'm stunned by so much inhumanity on one hand-I'm violent-and on the other-no one helps me. Society doesn't solve my misplaced behavior, it just punishes it. It's true that punishment is necessary to make people accountable, but never without treatment by providing real solutions, never without establishing the causes of violence. What can I do? I could have been registered in judiciary base but I would never have received the help I need. Once you act, it's too late; you have to react before. I'm full of shame. It turns out there are no limits to horror.
I damaged someone else's property, so it wasn't an impulsive phobia. What will it be next time? By killing myself, I protect society and I protect myself, failing to be protected by psychiatry (which only knows how to lock people up, like in prison, but we don't resort to psychiatry to be punished but to be treated). The human condition seems infernal to me. I can't believe Rutger Bregman in his book Humanity: life seems to be a Nazi concentration camp from which I want to escape. Miserable humanity of which I am a part against my will. I have no regrets about leaving it. It haunt me, it disgust me. I wanted to live happily. Now, I am convinced that my future outlook is threatening; my future is potentially one of mediocrity. That's why, in spite of myself (but without shirking responsibility), I'm going to try to commit suicide. I have no regrets. I would have prefered to not to be born.
《 Existence is nothing but an imposition and a curse. It's actually scary as to how much suffering is happening in the world. It's unimaginable. There's nothing beautiful about life being full of suffering and hardship. There really isn't. It's all just cruelty. 》
- a SS forum user
Losing consciousness irreversibly. Contrary to what we've been told all our lives, death has no drawbacks, as long as we are, obviously, our own murderer.
I point out that this message only exposes one reason for committing suicide; however, suicide is caused by various motives, both individual, familial and societal.
