Venting Suicide as a means to unburden myself.

[Forever Sleep]

Sometimes, I struggle with pinpointing exactly why I want out. You know when people ask that question here or, run polls. My reasons probably seem rather weak in comparison to what some people are going through.

Not that that affects me so much. I don't feel the need for others to approve of my reasons or decision- if I make it. I think we all have the right to choose. Only we know what we've gone through and experience day to day. If we can rationalise and justify it to ourselves, I think that ought to be enough.

Thinking about the reason though, I think for me, it comes down to experiencing a life as a burden. A whole series of burdens in fact. A never ending sequence of problems you have to try and sort out before they become any worse!

Yeah, sure, you can try and mix up your life so that you get to experience more fun but- fun costs money invariably. Money means work. Work and especially a job you may actually find tolerable enough doesn't always pay well enough. Even if you do free things, leisure time needs to be earnt and quite often, we're too tired to enjoy time off. In the past, I've actually regretted doing things weekends because it meant I was so exhausted the following week at work. That's so wrong- surely. To have to devote your whole self to working. That does feel like slavery.

Life and even successes in life come with too many caveats in my opinion/ experience. You get one thing but there are a bunch of sometimes unconsidered consequences that come along with it. It's so hard to get a balance and ultimately (to me anyhow,) it doesn't even seem worth it! Anyhow, a fairly pointless vent but it's something that just struck me I suppose. Thanks for reading.

 

[thewalkingdread]

I think for me, it comes down to experiencing a life as a burden. A whole series of burdens in fact. A never ending sequence of problems you have to try and sort out before they become any worse!

Yes, life itself actually is the heaviest of burdens. It's definitely not even close to being a gift, as pro-life ideology would have us believe.

Deep down, despite all of our differences, life has a very burdensome "built-in weight" — or gravity. Some people are very lucky and don't get dragged down by it for most of their lives. But even for those lucky ones, as time passes by, they will inevitably have to deal with it too. In the long run, good luck doesn't really matter because time and entropy will erode it.

So, yeah... you make a good point, with which I think we can all universally agree. Life is just wearisome. And we all reach a point in the road where we say to ourselves that we have already walked enough miles, and there is no point in continuing this senseless, wearisome routine.

 

[sapphoslastpoem]

For me, it's both because the things I encounter in life burden me but also because I am a burden to others. I sound crazy saying this but I feel like I'm genuinely and alien, I was born on the wrong damn planet

 

[thewalkingdread]

I feel like I'm genuinely and alien, I was born on the wrong damn planet

Unfortunately, life on another planet would suck just as much.

 

[daocreator]

Sometimes, I struggle with pinpointing exactly why I want out. You know when people ask that question here or, run polls. My reasons probably seem rather weak in comparison to what some people are going through.

Not that that affects me so much. I don't feel the need for others to approve of my reasons or decision- if I make it. I think we all have the right to choose. Only we know what we've gone through and experience day to day. If we can rationalise and justify it to ourselves, I think that ought to be enough.

Honestly, it all depends too much on how you'd choose to rationalize everything. Though we're supposed to have control over the switch of our own life and death, it all depends on the many circumstances surrounding life.

Like, honestly, life is not worth living. And the more you live it the more you regret not ending it at an earlier date. But there's always... always something holding us from seriously going through with it. And, by the chance we do have everything required to ctb with us, "chance" is always against you.

Anyway, that of itself is a subject needing a thread of its own. But, to sum it all up, you just need to see for yourself;
For your past, many life experiences, on how your life was and is. And what the future would be, going on the very circumstances you're on. I think we all at should at least make decision based on that. Though trying means more struggle hence more pain, it really depends on your dedication to your own reason to live.

Hopefully I was of help.