Discussion Suicide and sex drive?

[falloutcarter13]

Okay so this one is a little personal, but what the hell. I decided for sure, 100%, to ctb about a week ago. I just realized that ever since I did, my sex drive completely left my body. Not that it was ever really high...but I mean it's gone. I have this suspicion...or hope...that my whole body understands/knows that my time here is almost done for a certainty, so its dropped the desire to procreate from the list of stuff its supposed to do to conserve energy or time or something.

Does anybody else know what I'm talking about, or am I just crazier than I thought?

 

[WillOxyWork]

I know when I'm really depressed my sex drive vanishes

 

[Wayfaerer]

Since I had become suicidal, I just stopped caring about sex at all. Could go days without acting out on it and that is a first believe me!

 

[iDieUDie80]

Decreased libido or interest in sex is a symptom of major depressive disorder.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

Okay so this one is a little personal, but what the hell. I decided for sure, 100%, to ctb about a week ago. I just realized that ever since I did, my sex drive completely left my body. Not that it was ever really high...but I mean it's gone. I have this suspicion...or hope...that my whole body understands/knows that my time here is almost done for a certainty, so its dropped the desire to procreate from the list of stuff its supposed to do to conserve energy or time or something.

Does anybody else know what I'm talking about, or am I just crazier than I thought?

That's a good sign, I think, as weird as that sounds.
You could be right. Perhaps on a subconscious level, your organism has sort of accepted what your fate is, and is now on standby mode.
Have you also noticed less appetite?
Maybe it will make SI easier to overcome, too.

 

[falloutcarter13]

That's a good sign, I think, as weird as that sounds.
You could be right. Perhaps on a subconscious level, your organism has sort of accepted what your fate is, and is now on standby mode.
Have you also noticed less appetite?
Maybe it will make SI easier to overcome, too.

Actually no and I've thought about how strange that is. I've been finding myself eating and enjoying more than ever. But in a way that also feels normal, I've always been borderline anorexic and if I weren't really slim like a long distance runner or something, I'd just be kinda disgusted with myself and lose my appetite til I was again. Now I don't give a fuck what I weigh or look like lol cuz its all about to not matter anyway

Since I had become suicidal, I just stopped caring about sex at all. Could go days without acting out on it and that is a first believe me!

Glad to hear its not just me...strangely comforting. Thanks!

 

[Belit667]

Same here, no interest in sex whatsoever.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

Actually no and I've thought about how strange that is. I've been finding myself eating and enjoying more than ever. But in a way that also feels normal, I've always been borderline anorexic and if I weren't really slim like a long distance runner or something, I'd just be kinda disgusted with myself and lose my appetite til I was again. Now I don't give a fuck what I weigh or look like lol cuz its all about to not matter anyway

Glad to hear its not just me...strangely comforting. Thanks!

So your bodily drives are inverting themselves apparently.
Your body seems to be priming itself for ctb.
When exactly is your date, you may have mentioned it before but I can't remember?

 

[falloutcarter13]

Oh! And one other physical change has happened since I made my decision. Ever since I was 19, my chin hairs have been white. Like polar bear hairs. My friends used to call me PawPaw lol. But it was always maybe 5% of my facial hair that was white, for the past 15 years. In the past week, its gone from ~5% white to probably 50%, all over my face my beard is turning white. Its kind of shocking just to look in the mirror, doesnt' look familiar, who's looking back...

So your bodily drives are inverting themselves apparently.
Your body seems to be priming itself for ctb.
When exactly is your date, you may have mentioned it before but I can't remember?

Don't have one yet, but almost certainly within the month. It all depends on how long I'm given before I have to go to trial. I'll find that out this Friday and be able to pick a date then =) (facing prison time...long time...for repeatedly drunk driving while i was self medicating. Never hurt anyone thank god. I always feel the need to mention that so I don't sound like such a shit, lol)

 

[Worthless_nobody]

Oh! And one other physical change has happened since I made my decision. Ever since I was 19, my chin hairs have been white. Like polar bear hairs. My friends used to call me PawPaw lol. But it was always maybe 5% of my facial hair that was white, for the past 15 years. In the past week, its gone from ~5% white to probably 50%, all over my face my beard is turning white. Its kind of shocking just to look in the mirror, doesnt' look familiar, who's looking back...

Don't have one yet, but almost certainly within the month. It all depends on how long I'm given before I have to go to trial. I'll find that out this Friday and be able to pick a date then =) (facing prison time...long time...for repeatedly drunk driving while i was self medicating. Never hurt anyone thank god. I always feel the need to mention that so I don't sound like such a shit, lol)

I have way too many white hairs on my head it's scaring me...I understand the whole feeling about looking at yourself in mirror and the person looking back doesn't look familiar...I'm like a ghost just a shell of my former self. And to answer the original question I have always had a low sex drive due to severe depression...it's just hardly ever on my mind.

 

[Belit667]

I have way too many white hairs on my head it's scaring me...I understand the whole feeling about looking at yourself in mirror and the person looking back doesn't look familiar...I'm like a ghost just a shell of my former self. And to answer the original question I have always had a low sex drive due to severe depression...it's just hardly ever on my mind.

I have lots of gray hair but at least I'm not bald! Are you a boy or a girl?
Girl, right?

 

[fluffysuicidalbear]

Yeah I also get this along with a loss of appetite.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I have lots of gray hair but at least I'm not bald! Are you a boy or a girl?
Girl, right?

Yes I'm a girl. It's scary how fast my hair started turning...I guess stress really does cause gray hair because the past 3 years I have noticed the most change and it's been extreme hell on earth stress for me.

 

[Belit667]

You could always dye your hair blonde or red and the guys will go crazy about you.

 

[lighthousekeeper]

I've never had a sex drive, but I've been depressed since before my adolescence, so maybe they're connected

 

[Lorntroubles]

No sex drive here. It's gotten so bad I'm questioning whether I turned asexual. I can't be bothered. You're not the only one.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

In the past week, its gone from ~5% white to probably 50%, all over my face my beard is turning white.

Something physiologically abnormal does seem to be happening to you.
Could be stress too, from everything that's happening?

 

[falloutcarter13]

Something physiologically abnormal does seem to be happening to you.
Could be stress too, from everything that's happening?

That's the only thing that makes any sense. Some kind of hormonal shift in response to my decision and being committed to it finally. This would all be a hell of a coincidence otherwise =D

 

[esse_est_percipi]

That's the only thing that makes any sense. Some kind of hormonal shift in response to my decision and being committed to it finally. This would all be a hell of a coincidence otherwise =D

Ya :)

 

[Jumper Geo]

There are so few pleasures in life don't let anyone or any med or condition rob you of one of the only free pleasures in life at least when you CTB you can go out with a bang, we all just seem to except it I have for the last 2 years it's one of the side effects from meds, depression etc we aren't doctors, let them bastards do there jobs they prescribed us these pills that robbed us of feelings, now get them to explain why your sex drive is gone and when he mentions side effects or depression you tell them, your telling me your not even going to send me for a simple testosterone test to see if that's the problem or what is blocking my D2 receptor where dopamine is produced, then tell them if my T test comes back OK I want something to increase my dopamine level so I can have some pleasure in life.

Your CTB so grow a pair, don't let them doctors mug you off make sure he knows you mean business and demand it or tell them your going to report them for incompetence, and your going to the media with your story who knows he may throw in a pack of Viagra, guy's and girls what you got to lose.

Good luck

Cheers

Geo

 

[Linda]

Okay so this one is a little personal, but what the hell. I decided for sure, 100%, to ctb about a week ago. I just realized that ever since I did, my sex drive completely left my body. Not that it was ever really high...but I mean it's gone. I have this suspicion...or hope...that my whole body understands/knows that my time here is almost done for a certainty, so its dropped the desire to procreate from the list of stuff its supposed to do to conserve energy or time or something.

Does anybody else know what I'm talking about, or am I just crazier than I thought?

Probably the effect of stress. If you are under stress (even if you are not aware that you are stressed) it tends to suppress your sex drive. Perfectly normal.

 

[Intheo]

I don't think depression ever affected my sex drive. Ironically, when I was the healthiest with a dependable partner, I had the lowest desire for sex. When I'm depressed I tend to seek out casual sex more, leading me to believe that I'm actually searching for validation and affection.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I've also been experiencing a lower sex drive. My husband and I have on occasion gone months without. I can't say whether it's the depression, the medication, the suicidal ideation, or maybe just general tiredness from a stressful life. It's probably some combination of all those factors.

 

[LastRide]

No with me it's been the opposite - my sex drive is more active than ever knowing I am going to die soon my body seems to keep on saying " oh come on, one last orgasm !". And one more and one more and so on....now of course I do not wish to start another relationship anymore because that would complicate my last days/months even further....but masturbation is a good alternative given my peculiar situation !

 

[Emily123]

it's because you probably have a very bad depression

 

[TAW122]

Mine is more or less about the same. I guess if I'm really down, it may dwindle further, but in the recent year or so, it hasn't been as high as when I was younger.