Suicidal thoughts become homicidal when im too arrogant to hate myself

[MisterOGBongWater]

i feel my anger creeping back, im full of hate and rage. i want to hurt myself. and when im too up my own ass i want to harm the first person to look at me wrong

 

[derpyderpins]

Anger is very tough to tame, as is arrogance. I'll say, arrogance is the bigger one to work on first. I could never improve my anger until I accepted that I was human.

I've been realizing that arrogance/superiority complexes can be one of the biggest roadblocks to feeling better. If your coping mechanism is to tell yourself you're perfect and it's the world that's wrong. . . well, there's nothing for you to do to get better, right? But of course, no one is perfect.

I hope you're able to learn to let go of your hatred in time.

 

[MisterOGBongWater]

Anger is very tough to tame, as is arrogance. I'll say, arrogance is the bigger one to work on first. I could never improve my anger until I accepted that I was human.

I've been realizing that arrogance/superiority complexes can be one of the biggest roadblocks to feeling better. If your coping mechanism is to tell yourself you're perfect and it's the world that's wrong. . . well, there's nothing for you to do to get better, right? But of course, no one is perfect.

I hope you're able to learn to let go of your hatred in time.

ive always considered myself very humble. i dont think of myself as having superiority over anybody, and the idea doesnt comfort me.if anything im angry at myself for not being better. but who gives a shit at the end of the day right?

 

[derpyderpins]

ive always considered myself very humble. i dont think of myself as having superiority over anybody, and the idea doesnt comfort me.if anything im angry at myself for not being better. but who gives a shit at the end of the day right?

Interesting. So maybe saying you are "up your own ass" isn't really accurate as to what makes you want to hurt people. I know it's pedantic, but it's important to identify what it is that we're feeling when we want to address something.

So maybe it's more like you feel bad about yourself and sense other people looking at you as judging you, thus the anger?

 

[mythofsisyphus]

I'm also noticing I'm experiencing a lot of anger, but for me it stems from a sense of injustice and unfairness, almost a toxic form of envy. Why has my life come to this? Why do other people get to have normality and peace and I don't? How dare people complain about such minor inconveniences when they don't know how good they have it? I hate having these feelings, because they are so misaligned with the 'old' me. I agree that I think this anger largely stems from my own feelings of inferiority and shame etc. Not sure it's about being too arrogant to 'hate' myself, but more just a somewhat natural response to the injustice of my situation. But still, I hate feeling this way... I used to be very empathetic and selfless.