030366

030366

Member
May 18, 2020
26
I'd say I'm around 3-4 most of the time. The worst I've been it's 6 a couple of months ago. I don't ever think I'll have the guts to ctb unless the worst case scenario happens someday. But I'd say it's definitely on the back of my mind all the time, if things don't go my way, my brain has it as an escape. So I definitely relate to that immediately.
 
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Iamamistake

Iamamistake

Member
Jun 2, 2020
35
Just a few months ago, I was around 3-4, now definitely feel 8-9, change is so unexpected but I don't remember being this sure about it in a long while.
 
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Sad_Autistic_boy_101

Sad_Autistic_boy_101

When I die, you'll love me.
Nov 19, 2019
453
9 or 10 minus the wanting help part. I plan to make this work. Got one note done... probably gonna edit it Monday when I can use my computer and not just my phone. Gotta write 3-4 more.

this time last year I was a 4.... but cheating douche made me realize life's not worth it. So it's kinda weird to think in a week I'll be prepping for my exit. I'll probably be taking my dog out to potty and kissing her and telling her how she was the best dog I could have ever wanted.
Are you going to give your dog to someone?
I think I'm about 9 on a average day. I keep thinking about when I can get away from my family to attempt partial for the week. I would put myself at a 10, but I can't die, unfortunately.
How many times have you tried partial?
 
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Marktheghost

Marktheghost

Paragon
Feb 20, 2020
911
10, or possibly 9.
 
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Doormat

Doormat

Life is never so bad that it can't get any worse
May 22, 2020
86
I live at around 5/6. When I get caught out it flips to 8.
 
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SpottedPanda

SpottedPanda

I'm all about coffee and cigarettes
Jul 24, 2019
612
I'm at 9, though I'm not settling accounts, nor saying goodbye to anyone, and my note is pre written.

The other difference being that I'm not going to tell anyone in person. The last thing I want is a hospital stay, and it seems nonsensical from my perspective to make a firm decision, after careful thought, and then be open to having my mind changed.
 
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Poptart

Poptart

Try me Frozen
Nov 7, 2019
96
I was at a 1 for a while when manic. Then that dropped HARD to a 10.

Now Im at a solid 2/3.
 
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lostangel

lostangel

Enlightened
Mar 22, 2019
1,051
I am at 7 most of the time but lately I've been a 8.
 
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UpandDownPrincess

UpandDownPrincess

Elementalist
Dec 31, 2019
833
I live pretty much at 6.

Right now I'm hanging in there at about 7.5.
 
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ghostgirl1995

ghostgirl1995

Experienced
Apr 18, 2020
237
I bounce from 9 and 10 daily. I've been in the ambulance before too :(
 
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Simba

Simba

Missunderstood Potato
Dec 9, 2018
750
Hello!
So I discovered this scale in the internet and I found it very useful.
Where would you consider yourself to be?
Ignore the medical help or it's not safe to be alone stuff as this is a CTB forum but thought it may help people talk about where they feel on the scale.

I would say my baseline is 8 even though I have written my notes. I flicker between a 8 and a 9 and then I go into a numbness and then it's 10.

I hope the image is clear! :hug:
View attachment 37743
I'm between 5 to 8 :( it always comes and goes.. i could feel good about something but the moment things go for the worst ,that's it, I'll be down :/
I've been on number 10 before too ,but i wasn't settling anything with anyone just took lots of pills cause i was getting really upset an stuff :(
 
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W

Whisperer

New Member
Jun 15, 2020
3
Between 4 and 8, depending on my mood. I just need the courage to go from an 8 to a 10.
 
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É

Élégie

Student
Sep 24, 2019
143
5-6 on good days, 7-8 on bad days...
 
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rhiino

rhiino

Arcanist
May 13, 2020
462
9 all the time.
 
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S

Saddaisy

Student
May 16, 2020
146
Are you going to give your dog to someone?

that dog is my partners baby. He would let himself die before anything happened to her, and she adores him. I would love to take her from him, but I know he'll take good care of her and she would be devastated without both of her humans. Just gotta get him a monthly reminder for her heart worm meds.
 
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U

UmbosGirl

Member
May 3, 2020
18
I feel like the way this is written doesn't quite make sense to me. This scale is more written going up from a 1, where I generally feel more going down from a 10. Food for thought.
 
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faust

faust

lost among the stars
Jan 26, 2020
3,138
11. I have already drunk my SN, however I forgot I have some beer in the fridge.
Well, for me most of the time it is 6 to 9. Concerning 10, I am a bit cold, have to be patient and to feel no urge so when it comes, it comes.
 
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C

Cantdothisanymore

Member
Jul 10, 2020
8
10, but I don't want medical attention. The one person that could save me doesn't care enough to even try.
 
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Baguette

Baguette

Member
Jun 28, 2020
90
I'd say a 9 for myself.
 
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Rue89

Rue89

Visionary
Feb 10, 2020
2,726
10. I don't get much time alone at home and I'm having a little trouble finding another place without risk of being found too soon. As soon as I figure that out I'll be gone.
 
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Deleted member 17949

Deleted member 17949

Visionary
May 9, 2020
2,238
Seems like 8 best describes me. It's a little depressing actually, I thought I'd be lower down on the scale since I'm not always crying and panicking or anything, but I guess suicide has become something I obsess over constantly.
 
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R

RepressedMind

Miss the full ability to think
Apr 24, 2020
160
9-10 trying partial until I succeed
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
4 and 5 resonate with me a lot - "death affinity" sounds like my lifelong default state. But it's not always glum or stale like that; can I have death affinity even when I float up to 2 or 3? Because I do have exhilarating evenings or afternoons - not whole days, but worth appreciating. 1 is a Stones show.
 
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