Suicidal Ppl with kids

[saduser88]

How does everyone feel about leaving a child behind. Is the child better off if the parent is miserable and can't leave the house. We are also poor. No one will hire me. Even though I have experience and can do it, I have a huge gap in my resume. So poor, suicidal and hate myself. Thoughts on CTB with kid(s)?

 

[EvisceratedJester]

All you are going to do is traumatize your kids. Once you decide to have kids they are your responsibility. You don't get to just bail on them. The minute you had them was the minute you gave up your right to ctb until they are grown and independent.

 

[byebyeblondie]

I agree there would be some trauma and emotional screw up there, but that's going to happen whether they're old or young.

For me, I personally know that my children are much better off without me. I think any trauma of my ctb would be significantly less than the absolute fuck up of my parenting and choices I've made that have impacted them. Mine would simply forget me, which is best. They would also be looked after by family members, so wouldn't get put into a the foster system and I know they'd be taken care of.

I don't think you ever give up the right to ctb. It's something you choose to do because you feel you have no other alternative and that it's the best thing for yourself and/or those around you.

I obviously don't know your personal situation but you could keep trying to look for work, something will come up. Also, if your child/ children are really young then you could always try contacting a perinatal mental health team. They work with mums who have children 2 and under (at least in the UK they do).

I hope you are able to feel better soon and feel better about yourself. I can relate to hating yourself, it's not a nice feeling. I'm sorry you feel that way.

 

[lizzywizzy09]

My mom apparently wanted to ctb when my brother and I were little, but claims she stayed for us. In all honesty, she fucked us up severely and we would have been better off.

 

[Dusk till dawn]

How old are your children?

Not be to harsh but, living in poverty a guaranteed miserable life and there's no workarounds, you probably shouldn't have procreated if you couldn't at the very minimum guarantee a good desirable life to your kids

I assume your kids in the future will become drug addicts to deal with their misery, or eventually attempt suicide at one point in their life or at the very least they would consider it, it's just inevitable when you live in poverty

I hate saying stuff like "you have to live even if you are sucidal and your life is so cruel" but

You'd be worse than scum to just procreate then let your kids live the worst life possible in poverty while you take your life and get rid of all the burdens of life, it's the second scummiest and most despicable thing a human can do besides procreation

 

[F@#$]

How old are your children?

Not be to harsh but, living in poverty a guaranteed miserable life and there's no workarounds, you probably shouldn't have procreated if you couldn't at the very minimum guarantee a good desirable life to your kids

I assume your kids in the future will become drug addicts to deal with their misery, or eventually attempt suicide at one point in their life or at the very least they would consider it, it's just inevitable when you live in poverty

I hate saying stuff like "you have to live even if you are sucidal and your life is so cruel" but

You'd be worse than scum to just procreate then let your kids live the worst life possible in poverty while you take your life and get rid of all the burdens of life, it's the second scummiest and most despicable thing a human can do besides procreation

Ouch.

 

[ImTelling]

How old are your children?

Not be to harsh but, living in poverty a guaranteed miserable life and there's no workarounds, you probably shouldn't have procreated if you couldn't at the very minimum guarantee a good desirable life to your kids

I assume your kids in the future will become drug addicts to deal with their misery, or eventually attempt suicide at one point in their life or at the very least they would consider it, it's just inevitable when you live in poverty

I hate saying stuff like "you have to live even if you are sucidal and your life is so cruel" but

You'd be worse than scum to just procreate then let your kids live the worst life possible in poverty while you take your life and get rid of all the burdens of life, it's the second scummiest and most despicable thing a human can do besides procreation

Damn daniel

 

[Morte]

if I had a child, I would never CTB, regardless of how bad my life would be. As others have said, the moment you have a kid, you have given up your right to CTB. But no one is stopping you, you can still be an a-hole and ctb anyway.

 

[Abyssal]

I feel bad for suicidal parents, it's a horrible existence. I feel worse for a child who's parent commit suicide though. Sorry.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's one of those impossible questions- because, we don't know the future and we can't really predict how other people will react to things.

My Mum died of natural causes when I was 3. I don't think I've ever gotten over it. My Dad remarried when I was 10 and that made my life even worse with the introduction of a (probable) narcissist.

It's impossible to say though. Maybe your kids will be ok. Maybe they'll receive enough love and support elsewhere to grow up ok. I imagine they'll always wonder about you though. Life can be kind of confusing when you don't have any reference points for your own genetic behaviour (if that makes sense.)

I suppose the ideal is to take control over the things we can control in life. In theory, you could try to stay and do the best you could for them. I don't know how realistic that is though. How much of any of our behaviour is 'can't' as opposed to 'won't' ? I guess only we can answer that.

I'm sorry though. It must be a nightmare feeling like this and having those kinds of responsibilities. I'm finding it hard to stay here for my Dad to be honest but I feel like I have to for as long as I can.

 

[AR3S_]

It's a personal choice to procreate and allow yourself to bear and bring a child into the world.
If the situation is that dire, you shouldn't have had kids in the first place.
You would be the soul reason for another generation to be brought to these forums. So no, you work at it,figure out whatever way you can to make things work for your kid. If you think kids are better off after their parents ctb, you're wrong, whether it's foster care or family that "looks after them", they'll be screwed up for life, that is if they don't ctb themselves.

 

[Dusk till dawn]

It's a personal choice to procreate and allow yourself to bear and bring a child into the world.
If the situation is that dire, you shouldn't have had kids in the first place.

No it's not a personal choice

Procreation is the most immoral action a human can make

By procreating you bring the possibility of people suffering and being tormented, it's just inevitable that people will be tormented in their life at some point, not only that but you don't even have any rights to bring someone into existence because it's a violation of his autonomy and his free will, nobody consented to being born to being with

The sole purpose of why we are here suffering goes back to our parents procreating, you can't argue otherwise, parents haves sex and we find ourselves here suffering

After the deed is done and you brought someone to life you'll have at the very minimum ensure your kid(s) have a enjoyable life

 

[AR3S_]

No it's not a personal choice

Procreation is the most immoral action a human can make

By procreating you bring the possibility of people suffering and being tormented, it's just inevitable that people will be tormented in their life at some point, not only that but you don't even have any rights to bring someone into existence because it's a violation of his autonomy and his free will, nobody consented to being born to being with

The sole purpose of why we are here suffering goes back to our parents procreating, you can't argue otherwise, parents haves sex and we find ourselves here suffering

After the deed is done and you brought someone to life you'll have at the very minimum ensure your kid(s) have a enjoyable life

I mean that for the parent; they have chosen to procreate, they have chosen to engage intimately with someone else. The parent chose to bear the child and give birth.
In no way is it a choice for the fetus or child, but it is due to personal choices of the parent, as to allow procreation.

 

[Kalista]

this is why im glad i never got to have a child with my ex-wife.

for some detail, i'll share what i would do if i had one.
i would make sure my child will have some level of financial comfort before i leave because i know how shitty it is to not have much money during a young and adult age. money IS the most important thing to have in this world to live comfortably so saving a decent amount will help him have some cushion to fall back on.
Eventually i'd talk about the topic of suicide in an objective manner without placing shame in the idea, and not in way that makes it a selfish choice like so many express it as. this is to allow him to understand to an extent what will happen when someone leaves.
important points to be shared with my child and more. ensuring he's as ready as he can be, then i'd kill myself.

whatever your reason was for having a child, it's too late now for regrets or whatever else. just be fully aware that there is now a child alive in front of you who never chose to be born in the first place.

with that said, it will ALWAYS be your choice to leave or stay even with a child, because everything after the fact will mean nothing since you're dead. you're still a human being whom experiences suffering and acting upon it to relieve yourself is not wrong. you have the right of it, because you're the one suffering. having a child doesn't take that away. now whether it's going to be an easy or difficult thing to do is a different story.
but since you asked for advice, above is my short take on it. i don't know if you legitimately care about your child's situation or you're asking for other unknown reasons. if you really do care, help him get situated for a while, then leave if you still want to. you WILL be miserable and you WILL struggle. something you will have to accept until then.

whatever you do, just be aware of the facts. good luck.