Suicidal ideation and loneliness

[dontaskmewhatithink]

I think that not being able to share my suicidal ideation with anyone makes me more likely to attempt to CTB. Yet at the same time, I don't see a point in talking to anyone. I feel like all that would accomplish is hurt them or make them feel awkward/confused, and make me feel like a toxic, oversharing attention-seeker (which I used to be when I was younger). Even though I'm not technically lonely, as I do have people around me, in my dark moments when I do contemplate CTB I am truly alone.

I'm so torn between having hope and wanting to end it. I don't know which way is the right one anymore, and I don't think anyone can help me here.

 

[derekWest]

Death is irreversible. Life isn't.
So, if you have doubt, life seem the best option I think.
But, as always, more easy to say that than to make a decision.

 

[dontaskmewhatithink]

Death is irreversible. Life isn't.
So, if you have doubt, life seem the best option I think.
But, as always, more easy to say that than to make a decision.

Thank you. That's what I tell myself. But sometimes I wish I didn't have doubt and could just go through with it, because I'm so tired of things going wrong in my life.