Suicidal because of chronic loneliness

[CrestfallenMima]

Is anyone else sick and tired of being alone? I am, my family doesn't want anything to do with me, I haven't heard from my last friend in over a year and I can't get a job because I can barely talk to strangers at this point. Everyday what passes by, It gets harder and harder to cope, I can't believe that I've wasted what were supposed to be the "best years of my life" rotting away in my bed, sometimes going months without talking to a single person. It depresses me knowing that I'm not anyone's favourite person nor will I ever be. What depresses me more is knowing that once I do ctb not a single person will care, I will die lonely and forgotten, almost like I never existed. Maybe it's for the best.
I already have my rope ready, I might stay until summer to see if things get better(and before anyone says so, I am trying to improve) but honesty I could kill myself any day now. Hey, maybe I could make some friends in the afterlife, who knows?

 

[SuicideM4n]

The only people who care about me these days are my parents, except for them I could die tomorrow and no one would give a damn

 

[TheHatedOne]

It depresses me knowing that I'm not anyone's favourite person nor will I ever be.

Oh my, I feel this so much. I'm always thinking about this, pretty much everyone else is no.1 to someone. I'm mostly not even considered an option.

Loneliness was present pretty much my whole life. Whenever I tried to make a connection I only got hurt and then left. The thing I wanted the most out of this life was to have someone by my side. But it seems that even something simple as this is impossible to happen in my case.

No matter how much I try to suppress these feelings, to tell myself that it's better this way cause I only got hurt, no matter how much I try to brush it off, I'm too lonely. I was never loved. I was cared for few times, but it's all gone now. Even if I should have gotten used to loneliness by now, I can't accept it. How come that many have it easy to build true relationships while others are left in despair?

Apparently I'm ''not entitled to...'' even if this is a basic thing that everyone should receive, because we're wired to be like this.

Or maybe I'm really a monster.

 

[FuneralCry]

Personally, I would prefer to be alone, but I know that loneliness can be painful for many people. I'm sorry you have to go through this, life is just so cruel. I understand that it is hard to carry on when you are suffering so much. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[Somber]

What would happen if people acknowledge their loneliness and decide to come together to overcome it? I'm sure you have more in common than just a desire to CTB. And you could start as small as with a video game or so. Build something together. Even if it's at the end of your journey.

 

[Gordy99]

I feel your pain. I used to be lonely and then I discovered that I prefer to be alone.

 

[DasDasDAS]

Yeah I feel the same too... The idea of the lost time, knowing that nobody is thinking of you right now... That sucks! Hope things get better for you if possible! Take care!

 

[Ligottian]

Loneliness has followed me my whole life. In cars, bars, sidewalks... I'm God's lonely man.

- Travis Bickle, Taxi Driver

 

[CrestfallenMima]

Oh my, I feel this so much. I'm always thinking about this, pretty much everyone else is no.1 to someone. I'm mostly not even considered an option.

Loneliness was present pretty much my whole life. Whenever I tried to make a connection I only got hurt and then left. The thing I wanted the most out of this life was to have someone by my side. But it seems that even something simple as this is impossible to happen in my case.

No matter how much I try to suppress these feelings, to tell myself that it's better this way cause I only got hurt, no matter how much I try to brush it off, I'm too lonely. I was never loved. I was cared for few times, but it's all gone now. Even if I should have gotten used to loneliness by now, I can't accept it. How come that many have it easy to build true relationships while others are left in despair?

Apparently I'm ''not entitled to...'' even if this is a basic thing that everyone should receive, because we're wired to be like this.

Or maybe I'm really a monster.

Same, the fact that I can't maintain a single relationship makes me feel like I'm worthless and maybe even cursed

 

[TheHatedOne]

Same, the fact that I can't maintain a single relationship makes me feel like I'm worthless and maybe even cursed

i wish that we didnt haveto suffer like this. besides all our flaws i know that we , the loneliest ones, are very kind people with lot of potential. but we been pushed away by every circle possible. fuck this shit.

 

[CrestfallenMima]

What would happen if people acknowledge their loneliness and decide to come together to overcome it? I'm sure you have more in common than just a desire to CTB. And you could start as small as with a video game or so. Build something together. Even if it's at the end of your journey.

Honestly not a bad idea. But from my experiences online friendships just tend to fizzle out over time

 

[Somber]

Honestly not a bad idea. But from my experiences online friendships just tend to fizzle out over time

They very well might, especially with people dying all the time, but wouldn't a human connection be nice, even if it's just briefly at the end of your life.

 

[ColorlessTrees]

Honestly not a bad idea. But from my experiences online friendships just tend to fizzle out over time

I have experienced this many times myself, but they can also provide momentary connection, entertainment, or support, even if you only have a few conversations. Plus, real life friends drift apart often; again, in my case, my "best friend" of four years. We drifted because there was no foundation.

I guess I felt like commenting a little encouragement, because my best friend now is simply an "online" friend. He was once a stranger in the same, very niche, "community" (subculture?) as myself. (I understand that such deep and trustworthy connections, made through the internet, like this are rare, though.)

With internet friendships, as long as you stay safe, there really isn't much to lose, imo.

 

[little helpers]

the way I see this, chronic loneliness is an indicator that we have been fully abandoned by our "tribe", society. humans are social animals after all. it's analogous to being told to "leave", to have been rejected, where isolation is practically a death sentence. totally makes sense how people feel suicidal in these situations.

 

[NormaJeane]

I understand you, there are many people who want to die because of loneliness. Man is a social being and is not created to live alone, but it can be worse to live with a bad person. I live alone myself and therefore I am here. Most people will be forgotten after death, only famous people will live on in human memory. But people on Sanctioned Suicide will care and think about you.

 

[LittleBlackCat]

Is anyone else sick and tired of being alone? I am, my family doesn't want anything to do with me, I haven't heard from my last friend in over a year and I can't get a job because I can barely talk to strangers at this point. Everyday what passes by, It gets harder and harder to cope, I can't believe that I've wasted what were supposed to be the "best years of my life" rotting away in my bed, sometimes going months without talking to a single person. It depresses me knowing that I'm not anyone's favourite person nor will I ever be. What depresses me more is knowing that once I do ctb not a single person will care, I will die lonely and forgotten, almost like I never existed. Maybe it's for the best.
I already have my rope ready, I might stay until summer to see if things get better(and before anyone says so, I am trying to improve) but honesty I could kill myself any day now. Hey, maybe I could make some friends in the afterlife, who knows?

Me too. And I perpetuate it by pushing people away

 

[Dragon's Heart]

I am incredibly lonely and in dire need of some stimulation of some kind. I don't care what it is. 'Cept stress, don't need that. Anyway, I think I might fluent in the feline languages by now...

 

[Sanva]

i feel that. i wish i could just have some friends who love me. my social anxiety has gotten so much worse, i avoid talking to people most of the time because it's so painful. but at the same time i'm so lonely. and then i see everyone else having fun and partying.

 

[CrestfallenMima]

the way I see this, chronic loneliness is an indicator that we have been fully abandoned by our "tribe", society. humans are social animals after all. it's analogous to being told to "leave", to have been rejected, where isolation is practically a death sentence. totally makes sense how people feel suicidal in these situations.

Yep and loneliness can apparently even increase the chances of a early death. I believe it's because loneliness can cause someone to be in a constant state of stress, I think it's actually called hyperviligiance.

i feel that. i wish i could just have some friends who love me. my social anxiety has gotten so much worse, i avoid talking to people most of the time because it's so painful. but at the same time i'm so lonely. and then i see everyone else having fun and partying.

I feel you, being lonely for a long time makes your social anxiety and skills worse which in turn makes it harder to find friends in the first place. It's a constant cycle which especially hits hard around the holidays when everyone else is having fun and your just sitting in bed all day.

 

[little helpers]

Yep and loneliness can apparently even increase the chances of a early death. I believe it's because loneliness can cause someone to be in a constant state of stress, I think it's actually called hyperviligiance.

being poor, 19% higher risk of early death. chronic loneliness, 14%. almost on par. shit's terrifying for sure.

I think the stress thing is very real. just to clarify though, hypervigilance is pretty much a PTSD/CPTSD term. or anxiety disorders (though I'm not sure if academia puts it this way here). being hyper-aware of one's surroundings and chronically on survival mode. where this term fits really depends. loneliness possibly increase the likelihood of generalized anxiety? Idk.

 

[S like Siren]

Yeah,me too...i feel you so much,i have noone

 

[ellipse]

I am completly alone. No family, no friends. Bought some stuff for a method or two.

 

[Spacedoutfailure_]

I'm also alone, probably for life. I just didn't develop enough social skills and I'm an introvert. Basically no one cares about you unless you're high status anyways. I'll never get a loyal partner those days are over. Absolutely no one cares about anyone in this world it's all transactional anyways. Love isn't possible for me anymore.

 

[Grav]

Just finished a book on connecting back with people and the author relates some studies that indicate loneliness can cause the same amount of stress and anxiety as being punched in the face by a stranger.

I think it's actually called hyperviligiance.

That was part of the chapter. I don't want to sound like a book shill so if anyone is interested in it let me know. Not an answer book but some of the stuff in it really made sense to me. Nothing like sitting next to someone who's supposedly got an active stake in your life and feeling totally alone. Most of my life is alone (work alone, hobbies are about 80% alone activities) but I'm pushing myself to try and get some more real person interaction vs just online.

 

[again_noidea]

Is anyone else sick and tired of being alone? I am, my family doesn't want anything to do with me, I haven't heard from my last friend in over a year and I can't get a job because I can barely talk to strangers at this point. Everyday what passes by, It gets harder and harder to cope, I can't believe that I've wasted what were supposed to be the "best years of my life" rotting away in my bed, sometimes going months without talking to a single person. It depresses me knowing that I'm not anyone's favourite person nor will I ever be. What depresses me more is knowing that once I do ctb not a single person will care, I will die lonely and forgotten, almost like I never existed. Maybe it's for the best.
I already have my rope ready, I might stay until summer to see if things get better(and before anyone says so, I am trying to improve) but honesty I could kill myself any day now. Hey, maybe I could make some friends in the afterlife, who knows?

loneliness can be so brutal. i just eats at you, it makes you sick, especially with all the media surrounding you, which gives you a weird feeling of socialite that doesn't quit fit the bill. maybe you can go to a public swimming pool or into a coffee house or a library, just to be surrounded by people in a nice atmosphere. that's what kept me afloat when i was alone.

I am incredibly lonely and in dire need of some stimulation of some kind. I don't care what it is. 'Cept stress, don't need that. Anyway, I think I might fluent in the feline languages by now...

we should really build a community together. buy some land somewhere and make a nice garden, so we can go there and just hang with each other for a while. that would be nice.

 

[WonderingSoul]

Dear god yes I'm so sick of being lonely. I literally don't have anyone, not even a pet. Even when I do try to make friends, nobody wants to hang out with me. I have to rely on fictional characters for comfort.

 

[Live Free or Die]

To be alone means no one can hurt you, but sometimes you get lonely. To be around others is to live in constant disappointment of the way others act.

At least to me.

 

[CrestfallenMima]

That was part of the chapter. I don't want to sound like a book shill so if anyone is interested in it let me know. Not an answer book but some of the stuff in it really made sense to me. Nothing like sitting next to someone who's supposedly got an active stake in your life and feeling totally alone. Most of my life is alone (work alone, hobbies are about 80% alone activities) but I'm pushing myself to try and get some more real person interaction vs just online.

Sure. I don't read books right now, but just in case I do again that's something I would definitely be interested in.

loneliness can be so brutal. i just eats at you, it makes you sick, especially with all the media surrounding you, which gives you a weird feeling of socialite that doesn't quit fit the bill. maybe you can go to a public swimming pool or into a coffee house or a library, just to be surrounded by people in a nice atmosphere. that's what kept me afloat when i was alone.

Thanks for the advice. But sadly I'm a complete disaster of a human being because being alone obviously makes me depressed but at the same time I feel anxious around groups of people. So it's either be alone and feel depressed or be sorrunded by people and feel anxious.

 

[CrestfallenMima]

I have to rely on fictional characters for comfort.

I'm ashamed of admitting it, but me too

 

[Grav]

Ok, in case anyone else wants it, the book is "Lost Connections" by Johann Hari. It's not a hard read although he does pack it full of interviews with docs, scientists, and others. I think it was published 2018 so not covering the plague or how govt's have handled this. I found it more valuable looking at some of my behaviors and situations rather than the solutions, some of which are quite a big step for people suffering with these problems. Food for thought at least and maybe something to poke a therapist/doc with (that's what I do). FYI he's not a fan of meds. He does see "some use" but looks at alternatives including psychedelics and such.