Method Suggestions how to beat survival instinct / SI ?

[LonelyKitten]

Hello.

So, I got to spend an enormous amount of time at Beachy Head this month.
I was at the best, straight drop spot I could find, for over 24 hours in total, on multiple days.

But I just couldn't jump.
Survival instinct got the better of me.

It got me wrestling with, should I try to rebuild but I'm so afraid of destitution, suffering, imprisonment, etc.
I regret not jumping, at least in the immediate aftermath.

Now that I'm away from it and practically can't return I'm in panic.
I think, even if I end up trying recovery, having a ctb method readily accessible is absolutely crucial to keep me feeling calm and safe, I need to know I won't be stuck to suffer in any case.

I KNEW, I knew that rationally speaking I'm in such a horrible ditch that it would be a good idea to go out now, but no amount of logic could stop SI!
And it was the right way, almost certain death, no chance for botched survival, everything is set up neatly, and I even felt that if I did survive somehow, it'd actually be a good thing (?)
I know that logic is worthless in front of SI, but, people manage to do it, don't they?

So what are ways to actually overcome survival instinct?
Search function is down rn unfortunately.
I've been suicidal for SO long now, I can't believe I couldn't do it with such a perfect chance... ?

Is it really just medication?
I am considering shaking my psychiatrist for some benzos if I get the chance, heard those mentioned can help?

 

[Some place nice]

How I overcame survival instinct is I just hyped myself up. Ya'know like I told myself "they'd only care when its the funeral." Or "everyone always leaves so why not leave them." Shit like that Ya'know? Its just a mind game you have to play.

 

[Foreverix]

Is it really just medication?
I am considering shaking my psychiatrist for some benzos if I get the chance, heard those mentioned can help?

I would tend to think anything that depresses your nervous system would help.

 

[LonelyKitten]

How I overcame survival instinct is I just hyped myself up. Ya'know like I told myself "they'd only care when its the funeral." Or "everyone always leaves so why not leave them." Shit like that Ya'know? Its just a mind game you have to play.

For clarity's sake, from this context I'm guessing you managed to make an attempt but it failed?
I tried plenty of my usual hyping up, but it didn't work for me, egh

 

[Some place nice]

For clarity's sake, from this context I'm guessing you managed to make an attempt but it failed?
I tried plenty of my usual hyping up, but it didn't work for me, egh

Damn. Sorry bud. All I can say is act like you are just doing something normal by jumping off. Those are my 2 tricks.

 

[Lydia12]

Maybe something to trick your brain. Someone said take xanax and sleep on the rails until the train catches you xD

 

[Scythe]

If you can get andel dust, it will shut your fears up, but that's really inaccessible so try thinking about all the bad things in your life.
Jumping is also a method that requires a lot of courage in general and it's pretty normal to not be able to do it. So perhaps try a less scary method if possible.