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FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,875
I am getting sick and tired of people using their trauma and suffering to judge other people whenever they open about their problems or depression. Suffering is not a competition we don't choose our circumstances in life and mental illness doesn't discriminate. Everyone reacts differently some people are strong others are not but still show compassion for your fellow human being, no one should be alone and in pain.This year I ended up becoming friends with a woman I upset online after apologising and explaining that the circumstances in my life led to my self loathing and body image issues hence the views I hold. The victim and myself started privately messaging each other on discord. Both of us shared about the difficulties we experienced in our lives and it turned out there were similarities between us and managed to find common ground. I thought I finally found a friend. We both opened up to each other.

I sympathised with her when she opened up about her child sexual abuse she suffered and she is currently in an abusive relationship. I gave her advice telling her how deserves better and needs to leave because my family have suffered from domestic violence so this is an issue I deeply care about. She even begged me not to publicly reveal to the other women on the feminist social media community group about her relationship because she has been lying to the women about how she is this independent feminist who left her man. I shared with her how the rejection, humiliation from guys at school that i loved made me hate my body and self loathing.

The victim then reveals our private conservations on discord to her feminist friends on the social media group she belongs to and she was making fun of me it was horrific to witness.

She said "She's so unbelievably sheltered that the worst problems of her life was teenage boys being teenage boys in highschool" She went on about her trauma in her life, how she is a rape survivor and pretty much attacked me for being privileged in life. She was upset she didn't go university to study to law because she stayed with her abusive high school boyfriend and she works in a petrol station.

Her feminists friends joined in making fun of me these were the same friends who got fed up of hearing about her domestic violence. I feel betrayed and violated but at the same time I was wrong for assuming people who suffer from mental illness and trauma would be more compassionate people.

Suffering is NOT a f*cking oppression Olympics of who has had it difficult in life.
 
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Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,558
That's awful, I'm sorry you had to experience that and got embroiled with toxic people. It's hard to trust people.
 
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J

Jimblue

Student
Sep 10, 2022
199
I am sorry to hear that. It better do not share your experience if you are not sure if you can trust them or not. And really hard to find someone you can truly trust. Someone think I was a spoiled child.

Everyone is different and our brain respond different for similar situations.

I don't deny lots of people coma from really hard life and stay very strong. But not everyone can do that.
 
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Capsaicin78

Capsaicin78

Full time failure
May 4, 2022
238
I am always shocked by how people treat each other. Even when you know about each others pain.
This post perfectly shows why in my case I decide to hate humans as a species.
 
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KQuotientW

KQuotientW

404: Reason to live not found
Jul 17, 2022
326
Some people really suck. It was so wrong of them to do that to you. They are a very toxic person. In no way is it ever okay to make fun of someone's trauma or to minimise them. I'm sorry that happened to you. 😔
 
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CTB Dream

CTB Dream

Injury damage disabl hard talk no argu make fun et
Sep 17, 2022
2,797
This really cruel betray. Why doing this not empathy nothing, this make fun betray other suffering this humanity really bad wish you peace real understand real friend not this betray. People make fun trauma pain show reality this fake human ethic fake rule reaction all lie show other. Human really toxic sorry happn. More also suffering not compete why compete one little bleed give hug one trauma hug why discrimination all people suffer hungry suffer sicj suffer why not better all not say compete , humans real only want imaginary brain reward imaginary compete everything even suffering human brain wire mess
 
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tiny_dancer

tiny_dancer

Student
Aug 23, 2022
136
I'm really sorry for your experience and that treatment from someone you trusted and were trying to help. Nobody should ever minimize or compare someone else's experience, it's all so personal and subjective.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,265
Some people can certainly be very cruel and insensitive. It's true that suffering is not a competition, we all suffer in our own ways and people should respect that. But humans are the problem. In my opinion, it's always better to be alone and never open up about our feelings, as many people just create more harm than there already is. I'm no longer shocked or surprised by the horrible ways that people treat others.
 
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FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,875
I am sorry to hear that. It better do not share your experience if you are not sure if you can trust them or not. And really hard to find someone you can truly trust. Someone think I was a spoiled child.

Everyone is different and our brain respond different for similar situations.

I don't deny lots of people coma from really hard life and stay very strong. But not everyone can do that.
@Jimblue I used online communities because I am lonely and didn't know how to deal with the feelings of growing up unwanted and never belonging before my my mum met her partner she was a single mother who was always working or dealing with hospital stuff because my younger sister as a child was always in and out of hospitals and ill. My mother was always getting stressed, angry and tired sometimes took out on me a lot it was just awful because I felt like I wasn't wanted at and just a burden on my family . I was so unhappy so I found the Internet and online communities to open up about my insecurities and vulnerabilities which I never could in the real world and sought comfort in men so I wouldn't feel lonely anymore.

Over the years under the veil of anonymity I opened up my deepest and most troubling feelings. It became like an addiction and an escape from the real world. I did so many stupid things all because I wanted to be loved and I feel repulsed at my choices and at my own body too as I get older. I grew up in a religious household I felt guilty for the relations I indulged in.
 
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BRAINWORMS

BRAINWORMS

dust to dust
Jul 20, 2020
145
Suffering is NOT a f*cking oppression Olympics of who has had it difficult in life.
I have always felt that I didn't have a right to my own negative emotions. One of the most helpful things I heard was from a therapist who told me "nobody has a monopoly on suffering." Your pain is your own, OP, and you're allowed to feel it. I'm so sorry that other people have tried to invalidate that.
 
FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,875
I am always shocked by how people treat each other. Even when you know about each others pain.
This post perfectly shows why in my case I decide to hate humans as a species.
@Capsaicin78 this is what f*cking irritates me people in society express shock whenever someone kills themselves and start preaching about mental health saying " why didn't reach out" or tweet the number of the suicide hotline when a celebrity kills themselves.

What are the f*ck were people expecting to happen?

We live in a toxic world where people like to look down upon others different to them, excluding them socially and always being so mean and showing no kindness to their fellow human being.

This is toxic society will unfortunately led to some people ending their own lives. After all why should a person live in a world where nobody wants them around, judges whenever they open up about their problems.

The same hypocritical arseholes who tweet the suicide hotline number whenever a celebrity kills themselves are the same people that participate and perpetuate a system of bullying, excluding other people and failing to show kindness to their fellow human being.

Society and all its hypocritical arseholes can go f*ck themselves. Suicide prevention is the biggest hypocrisy ever.
 
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FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,875
Some people really suck. It was so wrong of them to do that to you. They are a very toxic person. In no way is it ever okay to make fun of someone's trauma or to minimise them. I'm sorry that happened to you. 😔
@KQuotientW

I spent the past couple of months feeling so guilty because the woman really complained about how my comments on brown eyes and black hair made her feel bad about herself and how she needs to take an online social media break because of my comments. I never ever intended to cause hurt to anyone. I feel remorse for what I have done..

I did everything I could to fix the damage first by publicly apologising to the woman, taking responsibility for my actions and trying to build a good relationship but in the end I now have nothing to feel guilty about anymore. I did everything to fix my mistakes

Learning about the women's life it looks like she was just jealous of me because I am better than her. She even told me she is miserable with her life and depressed about turning 26 years old next week. The fact she attacked how privileged I am and publicly revealed private conservations just shows how pathetic she is. I showed her nothing but kindness

* The woman has no friends her interaction is online with a group of feminist women. The feminist women she friends with didn't even want to hear about her abusive relationship and so decided to say she left him and then the feminist women began to talk to her.

*She throws transphobic slurs left right and centre and even mocked her old friend for transitioning. She was publicly showing his Facebook account as well. She gets mad at transgender news culture wars stuff online.

* she is upset about how she never travelled.
* When I mentioned I studied law at university she told me she wanted to study law but stopped pursuing education to be with her high school boyfriend. She even called me "immature" and stuck in high school but she is with her high school boyfriend 😆 😂 🤣
 
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T

Tiny Little Tree

-
Jan 25, 2021
85
Appreciate the write-up.

I've had people scream things at me along the lines of "your life doesn't seem so bad" and "you're just doing it to yourself" lol
 
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Pluto

Pluto

Cat Extremist
Dec 27, 2020
5,046
There's no way to put ourselves in the shoes of another, and vice versa. Some people are more sensitive and will experience more damage from a given trauma. Some were never taught basic coping skills and are very vulnerable as a result. Some bullies (including horrible families) can cause extraordinary harm yet leave no tangible evidence of wrongdoing. And society has countless biases, like caring more about the suffering of some people than others.

Then there is the simple fact that people in distress are hoping to be heard, not to compete in the misery Olympics.
 
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makethepainstop

makethepainstop

Visionary
Sep 16, 2022
2,029
In the modern world, compassion is about as rare as hen teeth. Same with caring, love..............
 
Capsaicin78

Capsaicin78

Full time failure
May 4, 2022
238
The same hypocritical arseholes who tweet the suicide hotline number whenever a celebrity kills themselves are the same people that participate and perpetuate a system of bullying, excluding other people and failing to show kindness to their fellow human being.
Yup. That is what killed Etika and Reckful unfortunately. They bullied them to their deaths and after that it was like " oh no. who could have known he'd do something like that".
 
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FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,875
I'm really sorry for your experience and that treatment from someone you trusted and were trying to help. Nobody should ever minimize or compare someone else's experience, it's all so personal and subjective.
@tiny_dancer At first I was upset this happened but I am now so glad this has happened actually because I now have nothing to feel guilty and bad about anymore. The whole thing now feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I spent the past couple of months feeling absolute pure guilt because the woman really complained about how my comments on brown eyes and black hair made her feel so bad about herself how and she needed to take a social media break because of me. She already has severe mental health issues already so this made me scared actually. I ended up getting loads of online hate and criticism because she is a well liked member on the social media group It was never my intention to hurt anyone I was expressing my OWN personal unhappiness towards my dark brown eyes and criticised society favourism regarding blue eyes .
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...a-abuse-and-mob-mentality.99914/#post-1731095

I did everything I could to fix the damage first by publicly apologising to the woman, taking full responsibility for my actions and trying to build a good relationship, showing kindness but in the end I now have nothing to feel guilty about anymore because the woman herself is not this fragile sensitive woman she portrays herself to be on social media she is actually a spiteful hateful human being and I am a much better person than her despite my own flaws. I will NEVER EVER publicly humiliate, gossip about anyone and reveal private discussions. She knew how hard this was for me to reveal such information.

Her betrayal actaully revealed her true character and in the end I had nothing to feel guilty about anymore.
 
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FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,875
I am sorry to hear that. It better do not share your experience if you are not sure if you can trust them or not. And really hard to find someone you can truly trust. Someone think I was a spoiled child.

Everyone is different and our brain respond different for similar situations.

I don't deny lots of people coma from really hard life and stay very strong. But not everyone can do that.
@Jimblue I can guarantee to you now SOME of the people who call you spoilt are just jealous, it's pure jealously. There some people who actually hate other people for being privileged or have easier lives than them and take out their anger on them but NEVER the system. We do not choose our circumstances in life but people really should be attacking the system allows these inequalities and unfairness in society to exist and flourish.

Mental illness doesn't discriminate and is devastating for the individual. That lovely nice CNN presenter Anderson Cooper. He grew up in a privileged family because the mother was like a famous artist and her family had wealth. His family had all the money in the world but it was not enough to help his severely mentally ill brother who eventually killed himself at 23 years old. His brother never grew up to fulfil his potential in this world and live his dreams. So young and all the money in the world couldn't save him, alleviate his suffering.

Money and privilege means absolutely nothing if a human is ill and his health can not be saved.

Appreciate the write-up.

I've had people scream things at me along the lines of "your life doesn't seem so bad" and "you're just doing it to yourself" lol
@Tiny Little Tree Thanks 😊

I learnt so much about her in our private discussions the woman who revealed our private conservations on discord it became more clear she is jealous of me and the privileged life I live. The more she publicly mocked, shamed me her real true self came out and she is not fragile nice sensitive person she portrays herself to be on social media.

* When I mentioned in our discord conversation I studied law at university she told me she wanted to study law but stopped pursuing education to be with her loser secondary school boyfriend who is controlling abusive woman beating piece of sh* t. She told how she is unhappy in her relationship. She publicly told her feminist friends online how I want a "Disney princess" boyfriend and mocking my "sheltered" upbringing. Her boyfriend beats her night and day everyday she is miserable in her relationship but attacks me for never having a relationship and wanting to be loved.

*She is upset about how she never travelled, I learnt this when I asked her if she has ever travelled outside of her country after I revealed I will be going to Italy next month for a week I have been Italy before.

*She complained about my sheltered upbringing. Her family she grew up in was abusive and she was molested as a child.

The jealously was on full display. In the end I had nothing to feel guilty about anymore. I spent the past couple of months feeling absolute pure guilt because the woman really complained about how my comments on brown eyes made her feel so bad about herself
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...a-abuse-and-mob-mentality.99914/#post-1731095

I apologised for my comments, took full responsibility and showed her nothing but kindness and tried to help her with her problems. I now glad all this has happened because I now I can forgive myself and move on. The past couple of months I have felt guilt and like the worst person in the world but now I can forgive myself and move on.
 
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P

pole

Enlightened
Sep 18, 2018
1,385
sucks to always see people feeling the need to compare trauma and pain, assuming that everyone reacts to it the same.

"i went through that too, i totally understand how you feel!"

no, you don't. nor do i understand what you or others are going through.

just wish people had more awareness and empathy to this extent. too much to ask for apparently.
 
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FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,875
Yup. That is what killed Etika and Reckful unfortunately. They bullied them to their deaths and after that it was like " oh no. who could have known he'd do something like that".
@Capsaicin78 Arseholes, Arseholes, f*cking hypocritical arseholes everywhere. This bullsh*t is why I no longer believe the human race is not saving worth anymore. I know it sounds extreme but this species is not worth fighting to save anymore.

When I was a 12/13 years , I saw the movie 2012 which scared me so much i was shaking by the end of the movie because I used to be terrified of the world ending and the human race ceasing to exist.

In the movie the government's around the world knew the world was going to be destroyed by a deadly solar flare which well trigger a series of natural distars. In the year 2010 the world leaders begin a secret project to ensure humanity's survival. China and the G8 nations begin building nine arks, each capable of carrying 100,000 people. The rich and wealthy could buy tickets for a place on the boat. Extreme natural distars start happening in America and population never get told why this happening. There was a part in the movie where a couple are shopping in a supermarket and the earthquake happens in the supermarket and the ground floor starts to split open in half.

I was so happy that in the end the main character and his family managed to get a space on to the ark, they were a lovely average ordinary income family but now as I grow older I think this not a species worth saving anymore. This species has lived for far too long and has brought great suffering to their fellow human being throughout the centuries. The race is a posionious destructive species that needs to come to an end.
There's no way to put ourselves in the shoes of another, and vice versa. Some people are more sensitive and will experience more damage from a given trauma. Some were never taught basic coping skills and are very vulnerable as a result. Some bullies (including horrible families) can cause extraordinary harm yet leave no tangible evidence of wrongdoing. And society has countless biases, like caring more about the suffering of some people than others.

Then there is the simple fact that people in distress are hoping to be heard, not to compete in the misery Olympics.
@Pluto When I was being builled at school I fought back and was not putting up with their sh*t , i got into losds of fights at school but still the whole thing left me with a range of issues effecting my self esstem especially as I progress into adulthood. Even though I defended myself I needed a friend who had my back and looked out for me. I became a loner in secondary school after my close childhood friend stopped hanging out with me once she got a boyfriend and new friends at start of year 7 in the secondary school we attended. We attended the same primary school and she was one of my closest friends who I went to her house on the weekends and we attended each others birthdays. Losing her was just difficult so difficult for me.

At school people thought I was werid girl and as result I suffered bullying and social exclusion making harder to make friends and have relationships with boys. Being seen as the werid girl I had a section of the school population who hated me and made life difficult at school everyday then there was the rest of the population that wanted nothing to do with me. The boy I loved so much at school I thought he was different but he was like everyone else in the school who thought I was werid girl. One day stopped talking and hanging with to me because didn't want to be associated with the school freak when people started gossiping. He humiliated me in front of the entire school and didn't care how upset he was. It hurt so much because I thought he was different. He was arsehole just like everyone.

In adulthood as a result of the bullying I feel like people don't want me around, I am self conscious about how people see me I worry if I upset people, I long to belong and be accepted and I have body image issues.

For me my school years were the worst and I do not miss them at all. Older people say "school years are the best" or "everyone goes through that" and do not take seriously my experiences.
 
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C

chloramine

Mage
Apr 18, 2022
504
Pain is pain. Hurting people by dismissing their pain doesn't make anything better for anyone. I'm sorry that happened to you- especially in that way. That's such a violation of trust. If we play the "only the worst pains are valid" game then most people aren't allowed to feel anything negative which is ridiculous. One pain doesn't invalidate another.
 
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FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,875
Pain is pain. Hurting people by dismissing their pain doesn't make anything better for anyone. I'm sorry that happened to you- especially in that way. That's such a violation of trust. If we play the "only the worst pains are valid" game then most people aren't allowed to feel anything negative which is ridiculous. One pain doesn't invalidate another.
@chloramine At first i was so hurt but now I am very happy the spiteful b*-tch betrayed me because I can now forgive myself. The past couple of months I have felt pure guilt and like the worst person in the world because of her publicy complaining about how my contriversial comments I made on a social media platform made her feel so bad about herself mentally. She had a meltdown over my comments and she already has severe mental health issues already which was why i felt guilty. I never intended to cause hurt I was expressing my OWN personal unhappiness towards my dark brown eyes and upset over society's favourism and deep love for blue eye.

I publicly apologised for my comments and to her, took full responsibility and showed her nothing but kindness and tried to help her with her problems in her life. I now glad all this has happened because I now I can forgive myself and move on because I did everything to fix my mistake.

I now have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about anymore. Her betrayal exposed her true character.
 
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whatevs

whatevs

Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
Jan 15, 2022
2,913
Oh yeah, it seems suffering doesn't automatically make people more compassionate.
 

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