moya117
A replacement that can easily get replaced
- Mar 31, 2023
- 284
i've always known for many years before that i have an extremely low confidence but lately, when i see myself in the mirror, i feel like im not that bad, im not ugly and horrendous objectively speaking but i dont know why i still feel like i am.
no matter how much compliment i got from strangers or my loved ones, my feelings cannot be changed and it sucks, i trully am a bitter person.
i dont want to be percieved at all by people but at the same time i want to be understood, which is impossible since even i don't understand myself
i don't think all of this can get any better soon, i feel like a sub human by how so strange i am
not only my look, my expression and behavior, i design them to my best ability so ppl can know im just like them but still im too expressive for them, they look at me like im childish, but when i tone it down they thought i get disinterested.
all this is just a show and i dont know who is the viewer, it feels like im trapped in this body that i hate
i keep asking myself, why do i keep hoping for someone that will be content with me being me, are my loved ones not enough for me?
though, i dont think they do content with having me, my partner for example, i catch him liking sexy pict of a beautiful woman, am i not enough for him
i wonder how much longer till these negative feelings disappear
when i confront him about the pict that he likes, he broke down in tears "why now of all times"
he does apologize eventually but i dont know, the damage has been done
i will always not be good enough for someone
no matter how much compliment i got from strangers or my loved ones, my feelings cannot be changed and it sucks, i trully am a bitter person.
i dont want to be percieved at all by people but at the same time i want to be understood, which is impossible since even i don't understand myself
i don't think all of this can get any better soon, i feel like a sub human by how so strange i am
not only my look, my expression and behavior, i design them to my best ability so ppl can know im just like them but still im too expressive for them, they look at me like im childish, but when i tone it down they thought i get disinterested.
all this is just a show and i dont know who is the viewer, it feels like im trapped in this body that i hate
i keep asking myself, why do i keep hoping for someone that will be content with me being me, are my loved ones not enough for me?
though, i dont think they do content with having me, my partner for example, i catch him liking sexy pict of a beautiful woman, am i not enough for him
i wonder how much longer till these negative feelings disappear
you know, speaking about this makes me remember what he done, he lied to me about when he broke up with his ex, telling me so that he can get me to be his partner.
when i confront him about the pict that he likes, he broke down in tears "why now of all times"
he does apologize eventually but i dont know, the damage has been done
i will always not be good enough for someone
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