LucifersIntrovert
Buried Alive
- Sep 10, 2023
- 53
About a week ago my grandmother was rushed to the ER because of internal bleeding and this has happened before about 4 years ago. But just seeing her laying on the hospital bed begging not to die just tore me inside I'm a bitch idc I'm still crying tot this day and SH every time I think of that moment because I wish to forget about it so why not punish myself until I stop it right? The reason she means so much to me is because from the ages of 3-10 she was the only one taking care of me next to my grandfather because my parents always were bickering and fighting over stupid shit and my grandma was there to stop everything and take me away. Now that my parents are divorced and happy I still see my grandmother as a role model I've never had so much attachment to one person and seeing her begging not to die on the bed is unexplainable on the feelings that go through you. Now she has an unexplainable spot in her lungs and doctors need more time for it to form before they can get a scan on it but I'm just lost now. My law classes are starting back up and just knowing I can't be there for her 24/7 hurts. And the day she dies I no longer have my will to live she is genuinely the only thing keeping me going because ever since my first attempt I vowed to never let her bury her grandson. Thank you and goodnight
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