B
bigfishlittlefish
Student
- Dec 21, 2021
- 148
I am confident that at some point within the next year I will be able to ctb. I've made peace with dying and am actually looking forward to the release from the various types of pain I'm in .
It's really stupid, but the only thing that's making me feel anything negative about the whole thing is what will happen to all my stuff afterwards. I'm 40, I've got a whole house's worth of stuff, a lifetime's worth of stuff. Nice stuff, things that I've saved or worked hard for. Things I've collected from my various adventures in life, travels around the world.
I don't have any family apart from my parents, and they're not really going to want any of it. My friends are all settled in their own homes and either have everything they already need or can afford whatever they want. So I don't know what to do with all my things. My life.
Is it all just going to get given away, like my life never happened? The things I have which have significant meaning behind them will all be lost, the meaning lost, the stories or memories lost. Things that were my grandma's, who I loved so much, will just be given to charity shops? These things that are so special won't be important to anyone any more. Treasures, suddenly valueless.
I know a life is more than the objects in it, but it somehow still feels like if all the stuff becomes valueless, somehow that devalues the life that they came from as well.
I dunno. Maybe I'm being stupid. Maybe I'm attaching too much meaning to material things? But I wear my late grandma's wedding ring always, and it's things like that which I am so sad to think of just going.. I don't know where, afterwards.
It's really stupid, but the only thing that's making me feel anything negative about the whole thing is what will happen to all my stuff afterwards. I'm 40, I've got a whole house's worth of stuff, a lifetime's worth of stuff. Nice stuff, things that I've saved or worked hard for. Things I've collected from my various adventures in life, travels around the world.
I don't have any family apart from my parents, and they're not really going to want any of it. My friends are all settled in their own homes and either have everything they already need or can afford whatever they want. So I don't know what to do with all my things. My life.
Is it all just going to get given away, like my life never happened? The things I have which have significant meaning behind them will all be lost, the meaning lost, the stories or memories lost. Things that were my grandma's, who I loved so much, will just be given to charity shops? These things that are so special won't be important to anyone any more. Treasures, suddenly valueless.
I know a life is more than the objects in it, but it somehow still feels like if all the stuff becomes valueless, somehow that devalues the life that they came from as well.
I dunno. Maybe I'm being stupid. Maybe I'm attaching too much meaning to material things? But I wear my late grandma's wedding ring always, and it's things like that which I am so sad to think of just going.. I don't know where, afterwards.