Venting Stuff that people say to gaslight you when you tell them that you're ugly

[stepanch1k]

"you just have to be confident", "you have body dysmorphia", "looks don't matter that much anyways", quite a personal one for me: "Don't drag yourself down" (this one haunts me to this day), "just get a haircut", "looks attract, personality keeps", "get rid of that negative mindset", "don't worry about it", "you're not even that ugly", "only superficial people care about that stuff"
I think you get the idea, you can add more in the comments, it's just so disappointing to hear stuff like this being said by the people who you believe are closest to you, really reminds you that you're all alone in this world. Brutal. One of the things that pull me closer and closer to ctb.

 

[camusfan_ig]

It really does suck. They make you feel crazy for even feeling that way. Like,, ive got a mirror lol i can look at myself and know I will never be pretty

 

[MyMomWasMyLife]

What are some acceptable things to say, in your opinion?

 

[stepanch1k]

Tell the truth, agree with the person, but don't say it in an insulting way rather try to make it sound more like a fact

 

[uklad38]

People that say looks don't matter that much, are people that look good!

 

[extremelyugly]

Cannot agree more. Then when you go outside and see and hear how they act and what they say all those gaslighting attempts get disproven in the most blatant way possible, but only to ourselves, because even if we were alongside someone else who accepted this, truth is it those negative things would get past by them because they're not used at all of that happening to them, so they could really honestly think we're overthinking it, because for their reality, it's probably true.

 

[aceHardlight]

Blackpill is brutal

 

[AnxiousLife]

Yes, I don't like when people aren't being honest. And then they proceed to (for example) choose someone else anyways.

"only superficial people care about that stuff"

Even though almost everyone evaluates others based on looks, mostly Subconsciously.

Looks are proven to be, to at least some degree, objective and to influence how may people see your personality (you may seem more intelligent, funnier, morally better, more trustworthy etc. or the opposite of it, just based on looks alone, with the same objective traits you have).

Even better treatment from healthcare professionals. Fewer convictions and if, then lighter sentences. Averagely. But yea "only superficial people".

 

[Forever Sleep]

Tell the truth, agree with the person, but don't say it in an insulting way rather try to make it sound more like a fact

Are you absolutely sure that they do find you ugly though? It may be something you hate but attraction is somewhat nuanced. Not everyone will in fact agree that a person is 'factually' beautiful or ugly.

I once complained to a friend that I was ugly and they responded that I wasn't really different enough to be exceptionally ugly. I was just more average- as she believed she and most other people are.

 

[stepanch1k]

Are you absolutely sure that they do find you ugly though? It may be something you hate but attraction is somewhat nuanced. Not everyone will in fact agree that a person is 'factually' beautiful or ugly.

I once complained to a friend that I was ugly and they responded that I wasn't really different enough to be exceptionally ugly. I was just more average- as she believed she and most other people are.

Yes I'm sure, I can compare the treatment I get to the people I believe are better looking than me get. I can also sometimes notice the split second expression on people's faces when they looks at me, it is what it is

 

[3rdworldsadness]

I would rather be ugly in 1st world than in 3rd world poor country. I'm ugly and dark skinned too and people treat me worse I don't know it's because of I'm ugly or the extremist mindset they have. But that's not a even a problem for me as my main and worst problem is money, abusive people and life circumstances..... because of my financial situation I don't even spend money on beauty products it's very expensive for me. I can't even feed myself 3 times a day. I really hope that you can find peace with your appearance. Know that we all gonna be skeleton someday and gone.

 

[xXSufferingXx]

sounds like they're just trying to be nice tho

 

[thegrayhammer]

being ugly is a severe disability (nowadays at least)

 

[_Gollum_]

Then when you go outside and see and hear how they act and what they say all those gaslighting attempts get disproven in the most blatant way possible

For real. Someone I know once gave me the confidence lecture after I admitted to feeling insecure, bringing up the example of a girl he used to know who was on the larger side and who suddenly supposedly became more beautiful and desirable when she started dressing better and having more self-confidence. Then just last week he talks about how he wants a girlfriend that he can "walk down the street with", ie. someone who everyone will recognize as "universally desirable" and will give him social status for being with. Like, does he not realize that he just told on himself? And I can GUARANTEE you that that "confident" fat girl from his story would not make the cut for this social-status-giving "universal desirability."

 

[Happy Cat]

When they say "Oh but you're so pretty!" and whatever maybe they dont know but thats gaslighting too especially when you have something like uh crooked teeth or a huge nose for example

 

[liquid jen]

sounds like they're just trying to be nice tho

I don't think lying to give me pity is nice.

 

[Dark Moon]

When they say "Oh but you're so pretty!" and whatever maybe they dont know but thats gaslighting too especially when you have something like uh crooked teeth or a huge nose for example

I don't have those but a similar thing has happened to me before, I'd get called handsome and then ghosted afterwards. That feels like gaslighting.

 

[extremelyugly]

For real. Someone I know once gave me the confidence lecture after I admitted to feeling insecure, bringing up the example of a girl he used to know who was on the larger side and who suddenly supposedly became more beautiful and desirable when she started dressing better and having more self-confidence. Then just last week he talks about how he wants a girlfriend that he can "walk down the street with", ie. someone who everyone will recognize as "universally desirable" and will give him social status for being with. Like, does he not realize that he just told on himself? And I can GUARANTEE you that that "confident" fat girl from his story would not make the cut for this social-status-giving "universal desirability."

Yeah, confidence is a lie. You don't magically become confident by "faking" it, because they will never be receptive to that, you need them to accept your appearance before accepting your behaviour, which is why the truth is that being naturally accepted because of good genetics and appearance is what gives confidence, it's a self fulfilling loop, they love how you look and then they accept everything you say, so you become more confident...

 

[stepanch1k]

Yeah, confidence is a lie. You don't magically become confident by "faking" it, because they will never be receptive to that, you need them to accept your appearance before accepting your behaviour, which is why the truth is that being naturally accepted because of good genetics and appearance is what gives confidence, it's a self fulfilling loop, they love how you look and then they accept everything you say, so you become more confident...

You need looks to back up your confidence. When you have no looks, you have no confidence, simple as that.

 

[ih34rty0u]

"you just haven't find the right person" oh right so everyone else did and im the only one who didn't, just because… because what? what else can it be outside of looks, if there are lots of evil, abusive people in relationships? personality doesn't matter if nobody wants to get to know you.

i don't even want love, i just want someone to find me attractive. it doesn't even have to work out, i just wanna prove that i am pretty enough for a relationship. i can't even have that.

 

[dearn]

"Beauty is subjective"
"But why?"
"Everyone is pretty"
"You're not ugly you're just not taking care"
"Body tea"
"but you're my goal"
"you just need to lose weight. You have a pretty face otherwise"
"it's just your ED"
"no… you're just a little bit chubby"
"nah you are pretty !"
"Confidence is key" "fake it until you make it"
"no.. everyone is unique"

 

[Pluto]

 

[voc_89]

if you going to CTB over your appearance. Thats fking weak. You can change that in 2 years. Making it known loud and clear. I want to CTB EVERY FKING DAY! Still here due to family fking bullshit. Anyway. You can fix the body stuff. GYM GYM! GYM! it sounds so tupid. But 1 year. Fully gyming. Man you will be night and day from the person you hated (yh u hate yourself.... i can tell.... i hate myself as well)

edited the post for you: Go to gym 4 times a week. I do chest and arms one week. And legs and back the other week. 173 cms height and 160 pound weight imo i look good asf body wise (got plenty complimets as well). Its easy. Do research and get motivation to better yourself. My motivation initiatlly was to get in good shape to fk women. But idgaf anymore. Just focusing on my sanity atm. These fking voices in my head

 

[makebelieve]

if you going to CTB over your appearance. Thats fking weak. You can change that in 2 years. Making it known loud and clear. I want to CTB EVERY FKING DAY! Still here due to family fking bullshit. Anyway. You can fix the body stuff. GYM GYM! GYM! it sounds so tupid. But 1 year. Fully gyming. Man you will be night and day from the person you hated (yh u hate yourself.... i can tell.... i hate myself as well)

edited the post for you: Go to gym 4 times a week. I do chest and arms one week. And legs and back the other week. 173 cms height and 160 pound weight imo i look good asf body wise (got plenty complimets as well). Its easy. Do research and get motivation to better yourself. My motivation initiatlly was to get in good shape to fk women. But idgaf anymore. Just focusing on my sanity atm. These fking voices in my head

Gym wont fix an ugly face

 

[voc_89]

Gym wont fix an ugly face

Its not Pokemon. You won't catch em all. Watch ids, podcasts, etx. As a male u will be succesfful with some gyming. Don't do steroids and etc. btw. I haven't and will not. But I know it will do more bad than good in the medium term

 

[extremelyugly]

if you going to CTB over your appearance. Thats fking weak. You can change that in 2 years. Making it known loud and clear. I want to CTB EVERY FKING DAY! Still here due to family fking bullshit. Anyway. You can fix the body stuff. GYM GYM! GYM! it sounds so tupid. But 1 year. Fully gyming. Man you will be night and day from the person you hated (yh u hate yourself.... i can tell.... i hate myself as well)

edited the post for you: Go to gym 4 times a week. I do chest and arms one week. And legs and back the other week. 173 cms height and 160 pound weight imo i look good asf body wise (got plenty complimets as well). Its easy. Do research and get motivation to better yourself. My motivation initiatlly was to get in good shape to fk women. But idgaf anymore. Just focusing on my sanity atm. These fking voices in my head

Yeah. Unless you're XXY, then good luck with that. Can you get testosterone treatment now? Sure, but then you need god tier hair genetics otherwise good bye that too, there goes another thing to take care about (fin + min, with all the effects those can have), and that does NOT fix an ugly face, which is by quite some margin the most important aspect of one's appearance. Why would someone ugly want a good body unless he's going to be flexing his arms all the time? Plus say goodbye to them "benefits" in the winter.
Again, good for you if it worked but never assume it works for everyone.

 

[stepanch1k]

if you going to CTB over your appearance. Thats fking weak. You can change that in 2 years. Making it known loud and clear. I want to CTB EVERY FKING DAY! Still here due to family fking bullshit. Anyway. You can fix the body stuff. GYM GYM! GYM! it sounds so tupid. But 1 year. Fully gyming. Man you will be night and day from the person you hated (yh u hate yourself.... i can tell.... i hate myself as well)

edited the post for you: Go to gym 4 times a week. I do chest and arms one week. And legs and back the other week. 173 cms height and 160 pound weight imo i look good asf body wise (got plenty complimets as well). Its easy. Do research and get motivation to better yourself. My motivation initiatlly was to get in good shape to fk women. But idgaf anymore. Just focusing on my sanity atm. These fking voices in my head

I've already been gymceling for about a years now, you can check my other thread talking about it.

 

[dearn]

Gy

if you going to CTB over your appearance. Thats fking weak. You can change that in 2 years. Making it known loud and clear. I want to CTB EVERY FKING DAY! Still here due to family fking bullshit. Anyway. You can fix the body stuff. GYM GYM! GYM! it sounds so tupid. But 1 year. Fully gyming. Man you will be night and day from the person you hated (yh u hate yourself.... i can tell.... i hate myself as well)

edited the post for you: Go to gym 4 times a week. I do chest and arms one week. And legs and back the other week. 173 cms height and 160 pound weight imo i look good asf body wise (got plenty complimets as well). Its easy. Do research and get motivation to better yourself. My motivation initiatlly was to get in good shape to fk women. But idgaf anymore. Just focusing on my sanity atm. These fking voices in my head

Gym won't change your face ? Your genetic. I find this type of comment quite disrespectful. If smn want to CTB its their choice. Do you realize most of ugly ppl have been bullied, thinks about it, cannot change how they see themselves ?

 

[deer]

It doesn't work like that, nor is it that easy. Even the gym won't save you if you have narrow clavicles or if you are 5'7 and under. You need a good frame, to start with (which is purely genetic) to look good. Even if you hit the gym all day it won't change your face. And you're still going to be a recessed fuck

if you going to CTB over your appearance. Thats fking weak. You can change that in 2 years. Making it known loud and clear. I want to CTB EVERY FKING DAY! Still here due to family fking bullshit. Anyway. You can fix the body stuff. GYM GYM! GYM! it sounds so tupid. But 1 year. Fully gyming. Man you will be night and day from the person you hated (yh u hate yourself.... i can tell.... i hate myself as well)

edited the post for you: Go to gym 4 times a week. I do chest and arms one week. And legs and back the other week. 173 cms height and 160 pound weight imo i look good asf body wise (got plenty complimets as well). Its easy. Do research and get motivation to better yourself. My motivation initiatlly was to get in good shape to fk women. But idgaf anymore. Just focusing on my sanity atm. These fking voices in my head

 

[ScaredCutter]

the one i hate most is when im told that "other people are just worried about themselves" or some random percentage of 30% this, that and that.

sorry but people will judge u whether its strangers or not. it doesnt go away. i hate it how people say it like its true, im very judgemental towards others, i keep the remarks to myaelf but if im doing this, i strongly believe others out there are too. people dont secretly laugh for no reason, point at u or glance and make a face.

like whatever, i shouldbt care what ppl think but i care, I CARE.