HereWeGo!
Please give me the guts to _ _ _ 🙏🏻
- Dec 7, 2024
- 216
Hi there!
[My mother tongue isn't English so sorry for the possible incorrections in the text]
I've been in the mood for CTB for some months now. There are two main factors that keeps me away from it yet:
1. Suicide letter:
I don't really feel comfortable to tell my family/friends about the real reasons to my decision. Some of the reasons I could tell them are minor stuffs but not the major reasons to why I want to CTB. Why I don't want to tell about the real reasons? I think that they just will be diminish what I concern as problems such not much of a problem. I don't think anybody ever will understand me, I have some stuffs in my mind - things that I really can't get any help with. I think telling my family/friends about the issues would just made the think like: "so he went CTB just because of that, that's nothing to feel that bad for." Sometimes I feel like not telling them at all would be as good as telling them just the minor problems. But in a way it feels like an obligation to give them my inner thoughts, but it feels to hard.
Also it feels like I'll never be done with the suicide letter. I've been written it for several weeks now, it contain several pages but I never seems to "nail it" and I editing it all the time.
2. Practical issues:
I also suffer with practical issues. I don't want to leave a completely mess at home. Especially since I have two kids (under 10) I unfortunately would be leaving and I want to make the process after my death a bit little easier for my family. So I feel like I really have to clean up, put up and store/save my important belongings. Then also to give them practical information such as my last wills, passwords, keys, important document etcetera.
This two issues almost concerns me more than the sake of CTB itself. Strange right?
Anyone experienced this issues as well? Please tell me how to manage to come forward with this? What should I do?
[My mother tongue isn't English so sorry for the possible incorrections in the text]
I've been in the mood for CTB for some months now. There are two main factors that keeps me away from it yet:
1. Suicide letter:
I don't really feel comfortable to tell my family/friends about the real reasons to my decision. Some of the reasons I could tell them are minor stuffs but not the major reasons to why I want to CTB. Why I don't want to tell about the real reasons? I think that they just will be diminish what I concern as problems such not much of a problem. I don't think anybody ever will understand me, I have some stuffs in my mind - things that I really can't get any help with. I think telling my family/friends about the issues would just made the think like: "so he went CTB just because of that, that's nothing to feel that bad for." Sometimes I feel like not telling them at all would be as good as telling them just the minor problems. But in a way it feels like an obligation to give them my inner thoughts, but it feels to hard.
Also it feels like I'll never be done with the suicide letter. I've been written it for several weeks now, it contain several pages but I never seems to "nail it" and I editing it all the time.
2. Practical issues:
I also suffer with practical issues. I don't want to leave a completely mess at home. Especially since I have two kids (under 10) I unfortunately would be leaving and I want to make the process after my death a bit little easier for my family. So I feel like I really have to clean up, put up and store/save my important belongings. Then also to give them practical information such as my last wills, passwords, keys, important document etcetera.
This two issues almost concerns me more than the sake of CTB itself. Strange right?
Anyone experienced this issues as well? Please tell me how to manage to come forward with this? What should I do?
