So far I have been an inpatient for 11 months to try and tackle my eating disorder but also keep me safe as i have strong suicidal ideations. Im on obs 24 hours a day so its hard to do anything that could remotely help me end my life. I'd settle for serious self harm tbh. Does anyone know of anyway I can order something that wouldn't cause suspicion? I'm desperate guys.
Xerxes
Invisible
- Nov 8, 2018
- 936
So you're inpatient, and able to use Internet? Anyways I think your chances are low because those places check packages to make sure there aren't anything illegal or it's not contraband. And knowing you're on suicidewatch, they'll definitely be looking out for any intentions. When things are quieter and you trick them into thinking you're mentally better, they may relax those restrictions. The other option is having a friend who's on the same page as you deliver the items discreetly during visitation hours.
It would be better just to wait until you get out. Maybe tell them about your serious self harm thoughts?
The unit I'm on in the UK luckily allows internet and mobile phones so I'm able to try and research different methods. I've been on 24 obs for the past 11 months so I'm tearing my hair out. I have told staff about how I feel but not getting additional support. No matter how hard I try, I can't convince my consultant to give me any time off one-to-one.
Is your physical health quite poor? Are you a problematic patient ? 11 months is a long time.
Not particularly, their is a patient who has been here for 4 years non stop! My physical health is ok now as they tube feed you if you refuse to eat, but I guess it takes time for your mind to catch up. I'm stuck because the funding for my stay comes from my local authority and they don't know what to do with me. In the last 3 years I have been an inpatient for 2 1/2 years. I'm fed up of being forced to live, it's a waste of money.
scales
Resident Slime
- Oct 18, 2018
- 214
Convince them you're better, get out, then die. It's easy, just do what you think healthy people do. Talk about the things you would do in your theoretical life, like go to school xyz or get a job in abc or spend time with friends or family. Talk about soccer or some other hobby of yours that you want to go spend time on. Docs love that kind of stuff.
Eat. Eating is a form of self harm to yourself because you hate it so much. Do it even if you hate it, you're going to be dead anyway, right? It will convince them you're better. If you can't eat, tell them you want to do an intensive outpatient on your eating but that you really want to live your life and not be confined in the prisons. Try not to cry, make eye contact, smile even if it's fake, sound neurotypical. Sound very excited for the life you make up and want to live that isn't in the hospital.
It's hard, but you can do it. People are notoriously bad at catching liars despite what they may say. Humans are great liars, if they weren't society would so easily fall apart and scams wouldn't even be possible. You can do it.
Eat. Eating is a form of self harm to yourself because you hate it so much. Do it even if you hate it, you're going to be dead anyway, right? It will convince them you're better. If you can't eat, tell them you want to do an intensive outpatient on your eating but that you really want to live your life and not be confined in the prisons. Try not to cry, make eye contact, smile even if it's fake, sound neurotypical. Sound very excited for the life you make up and want to live that isn't in the hospital.
It's hard, but you can do it. People are notoriously bad at catching liars despite what they may say. Humans are great liars, if they weren't society would so easily fall apart and scams wouldn't even be possible. You can do it.
What @scales said. Just lie until they let you out. Tell them about potential romance, work possibilities, make plans for your future life. Humans are really pretty bad at detecting lies, specially when they want to believe.
Empty Smile
The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
- Jul 13, 2018
- 1,785
Never tell them anything. Only tell them what they want to hear. Anything you tell them could possibly lengthen your stay.
Wow, that's awful! I'm so sorry. At least you have access to the internet, that's not allowed here in the u.s. They take away everything. Hopefully, you get out soon.
So true. Everyone I know who stayed their for 6+ months stayed their because of honesty. While everyone who is dishonest gets out in 2 weeks absolute max.
scales
Resident Slime
- Oct 18, 2018
- 214
Can confirm. Lied as soon as I saw the facilities and I wasn't even admitted. They rely on patient honesty to decide the best course of action.
I remember asking one of my counselors "does anyone actually tell you the truth if they are suicidal?" And she said "of course! They always do because they don't really want to die and want us to stop them. They tell us everything." And so she completely missed that I had already purchased materials for SN with plans to kill myself.
Lies are your friend just don't let one of them call you a chronic liar and get you in trouble. If you fail suicide after lying like 3 times they will probably catch on.
I lied so hard about nothing being wrong with me, released after 5 weeks. Lied to home based treatment and was discharged. I know im not well, i know my mind is slowly closing around me, i just cant admit how i feel to people who want to help. I dont want help, i dont deserve help. Im hoping my mind continues to close down and that will give me the strenght i need to CTB. There is no way back for me, i dont even feel like myself anymore, im not allowed to return to work, i have no partber now and noone calls me anymore. Im scared but this needs to happen.
I really relate to this. The I don't want help. Maybe if the help would make me healed forever and it was free or extremely low cost.
Haha that is a great joke. What a hero complex that counselor has. I have actually never once regretted attempting suicide only failing.
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WTF I'm guessing you are in the lovely UK. Fuck that country. None of it makes any sense.
How did you get the latest stint with no passes?
Seems like you will need to become fake and a level of normal if you want to be free.
Not sure they can have a high level of expectation from someone inpatient for 11 entire months.I'm assuming you can't PM yet but there is a chat if you are bored or lonely.
Thats something i am grateful for is the NHS, i also work for the NHS but ive found that although work have been supportive they have also made me feel like i shouldnt access anymore help. When your having to sit in a room with HR, Managers and a union rep amd discuss why you were sectioned, why you were in A&E, why you OD and you know your gonna get sacked they just cant do it right away whilst your on sick. So yeah im currently not working, waiting till they follow their procedures knowing full well i want to die its messing with my head
Going Home
Specialist
- Sep 21, 2018
- 357
Sorry you are stuck in there under 24hr obs. I would hate that being watched 24/7. I hope you get out of there soon as possible.
I don't know what you could get while you're being watched like that.
Me too - I have been trying my hardest to convince them that I'm ok. I'm just waiting to be given unescorted walks so I can CBT by OD or train track. I just have to jump through all these hoops at this hospital to get any freedom or time off one-to-one. It's so frustrating. In the past, I have managed to buy foreign objects to swallow just to give myself opportunity to abscond. It would be relatively easy as I am trusted in some ways to keep myself safe...staff tend to watch my tv more than me! I have just run out of ideas at the time. :(
I really feel for you. How you feel is not something to discriminate or make you feel guilty for. If you want to access help, then you should be free to without worrying because it's your right to receive it in this country. Can't believe how you have been treated, for all its perks, the NHS really let's itself down sometimes.
Susannah
Mage
- Jul 2, 2018
- 530
Nice written recipe. You gotta get out, and to get out, you need to play along with the "staff".
Lara Francis
Enlightened
- Jun 30, 2018
- 1,627
Wow one to one for all that time !.
Do you have a set of keys?
When I was hospitalised, I removed my keys from the ring,unwind the wire into a straight length then twisted it until it snapped leaving a sharp point at the end.when that was confiscated after I cut with it ,I also used the metal framework from my umbrella once but that was rubbish.I managed to make the key ring cutter in the toliet as they did not follow me into the toliet even when on a one to one.just make sure you just try and clean the wire before you use it as it' not the most sterile instrument to use.
You will not be released from a one to one for sure if they find you self harming though but I know you get that but understand your frustrations in being so restricted.x
I want to do this but don't want the friend to be caught for assisted suicide. Would them being oblivious to the contents of the package be enough to avoid this?
Xerxes
Invisible
- Nov 8, 2018
- 936
It all depends on the hospital you're in. I stayed 2 weeks in one and got a friend to sneak in a burger through the staff elevator. I watched the patrols and readjusted the ceiling cameras at the right time. During visitation hours, I realized they never really checked backpacks, but they do have a look out staff member that wishes he wasn't working there at all so he didn't care. Also some staff members are pretty cool with getting things to you as well. I wanted my Harry Potter book, because I had a hidden razor inside the cover. Can't fault the person who didnt know I had an implement inside it. The fault lies in the hospital staff to make sure nothing harmful gets inside.
If i was in your situation, I'd wait it out and see. As much as waiting would be annoying, its better than them putting you on full lockdown and making you unable to do anything
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