Venting stuck in between

[hao☆]

some of you may be in the same hole i'm in, i know there's that factor that pushes you into going ahead with ctb and a factor that pulls you away ftom ctb. in my case, that being of my asshole environment, job, everyone i know, even those i talk to frequently, and there's that one aforementioned factor (that pulls you away from ctb) which would be for me, my survival instincts preventing me from doing anything too far. i've stood on ledges, put the noose around my neck and every time, i find myself crying on the floor because i didnt have the will to die, and yet every waking moment, every second spent being alive is so PAINFUL, wishing for that sweet release, but never actually going through with it. Its tiring being in the same cycle of being tossed around like a punching bag, failing to die and looking like a bigger fucking idiot the very next day. Everyday i pray for my death.

 

[Blasphemous]

yeah i get you, some people just do not have it in themselves
could it be because you are just scared or you think about others that could possibly grief when you are gone?

 

[Ben 111]

Ur not alone

 

[Hollowman]

Limbo's the worst, been in it for years.

 

[Shrub]

Have you tried sedating yourself before attempting to CTB? When you're trying to CTB unsedated you're fully conscious, which will more often than not lead you to hesitating or completely abandoning the attempt