Venting Stuck in a void

[deservetosuffer]

Idk what's wrong with me.

I don't want to die but I don't have the energy to live. I just lay in my bed most of the days, sometimes I will go on a walk.
I want to live, I have dreams, but I'm too tired. I lost my job a month ago, trying to look for another one is giving me instant panic attacks. I don't have the energy for anything. I can't afford to live like this, I have no income atm.

And another thing: even if I find the energy to do something, I can't focus on shit. I told doctors so many times, I feel like I'm intellectually challenged, I want to do things and learn new stuff but I CANT. I am unable to learn. I hate myself. Nobody cares.

I know this post makes no sense, I just had to get things off my chest. It doesn't matter.

Ctb feels like the only escape from this hell.

 

[DeusVult]

That could be Autistic Burnout.

Autistic burnout is a common experience among autistic individuals, characterized by intense physical, mental, or emotional exhaustion. It can be accompanied by a temporary loss of skills, making tasks that were once manageable suddenly difficult or impossible.

Symptoms of Autistic Burnout

• Feeling exhausted and depleted, as if all internal reserves have been used up
• Decreased executive functioning or life skills, making daily tasks challenging
• Increased sensory processing sensitivity
• Difficulty managing emotions, leading to outbursts of sadness or anger
• Feeling overwhelmed by the demands of navigating a neurotypical world