Struggling with my friend's death

[derpyderpins]

I'm just having a hard time accepting it. I don't want a world where he's gone. I feel like shit for feeling like shit. I'm making his death about me. I'm supposed to be sad for a couple days then get back to being productive. It's been over a week. I told my work I'm taking two days to go out of town for the viewing and funeral. I need some sort of closure.

 

[theboy]

I understand. I also lost a friend because of that... although it was online. Pm if you want. It's hard but you can get it back painlessly.

 

[derpyderpins]

I understand. I also lost a friend because of that... although it was online. Pm if you want. It's hard but you can get it back painlessly.

"Get it back painlessly"? I don't understand what you're saying.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I'm making his death about me.

I'm sorry for your loss and for the loss of him. It sounds like it was premature and it's very sad he is gone but you're the one still here so it's totally okay to focus on how you are being affected or impacted. You're still in the direct aftermath so things are naturally still raw. I hope going to pay your respects in person will afford you some peace.

 

[fleetingnight]

You're completely allowed to be upset about it for as long as you are. It isn't making it about you. Although it's not like it makes it any less painful, it's true that grief is a byproduct of love. You feeling badly about it is just proof of how much you care about him, not selfish at all

 

[Malaria]

I relate a lot to what you're saying. I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[anhedonya]

I don't think you're selfish for these feelings- yes, it was his life and his death, but you are still someone that loved him and cared for him as a friend. It's okay to feel sad and wish he was still here, that doesn't make you self centered, it makes you human. You miss him as anyone would. Did he leave anything to you or do you have things from the years of friendship that you could look over? You might be able to find some closure in compiling these items and memories into a shoe box esque idea so you can sit with them and remember the good times. I know some people even make the container it's all in very pretty with paint to give it a more special feel rather than just a plain box. I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[Aergia]

I'm sorry for your loss. Like others have said, grieving for a loved one is only human, so you shouldn't feel bad about it, too.

I hope that you can heal.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry for your loss. Grief is a human reaction but keep in mind that death is the only relief from all suffering in this world for each one of us. I hope your friend is at peace now. Don't feel bad about it, they r relieved!

 

[derpyderpins]

Thank you all for responding it really meant a lot to see all this support.

I don't think you're selfish for these feelings- yes, it was his life and his death, but you are still someone that loved him and cared for him as a friend. It's okay to feel sad and wish he was still here, that doesn't make you self centered, it makes you human. You miss him as anyone would. Did he leave anything to you or do you have things from the years of friendship that you could look over? You might be able to find some closure in compiling these items and memories into a shoe box esque idea so you can sit with them and remember the good times. I know some people even make the container it's all in very pretty with paint to give it a more special feel rather than just a plain box. I'm so sorry for your loss.

That's a good idea and I actually have something silly but meaningful in mind, maybe I'll put it up with a couple pictures of us together.

 

[tigerz]

My friend also killed himself a month ago. His funeral was a few days ago. It gave a lot of closure however I am now feeling extremely depressed and suicidal again. I am planning to take my own life soon as I can't bear to imagine a lifetime feeling like this… hopefully you find a way to manage these feelings. :)