Struggling, just venting

[malia]

Sometimes I feel like I can't go on anymore. Life is so exhausting, it's so tiring to live. Thinking of ending it all feels so peaceful. I would just have a beautiful nice day, do my hair and makeup, wear a beautiful dress and in the evening end it all and be finally at peace. I don't wanna feel so isolated anymore, I don't wanna feel so tired anymore, the struggle, the constant every day fighting. I don't even wanna go to sleep so the new day won't start so soon.

But I can't, I fucking can't do anything. Firstly I'm a coward, secondly I have a small child that depends on me. I'm already on my knees, and crying, have no more energy, yet I still have to put the energy I don't have into my kid. I'm seriously done, I don't want this anymore. Suddenly I more and more understand those mothers who jump with their children down into the abyss here and are ending it all, because at some point it gets unbearable.

 

[ilovenoodles]

you're really strong coming this far, wishing the best for you and your baby :(

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I'm in a different section of hell than you, but have the same things in some ways, such as, dependents. And not able to work up the steam to get it done, partly because I'm too tired. There are currently two things for me: 1. knowing that each day passing is one day less to suffer. 2. coming to this forum where people speak unvarnished truth.

 

[FishRain3469]

I'm sorry you are going through all of that, I can't even imagine being a father ( or mother) in this Sickk and DownRight Fckn toxic society we all live in.

May your days get Better and Brighter, if even just a little. Take care of yourself. ♥