struggle

[goonhole]

the fear of dying,
of having that strap around my neck
and hanging there struggling
is a fear that has kept me from escaping this torture.

today I thought,
"is that really so different than this?"

is all this really so different from what you must have been told I did with purposeful intent,
when now it's actually you that is the monster?

 

[FuneralCry]

Suicide really is way too unnecessary difficult, the hanging method also scares me for the same reason, I hate how it's so hard to die, the problem lies in how we are programmed to survive even if one is aware that suicide is what they truly wish for. But nobody should have to resort to such barbaric methods in the first place, ideally we should just be able to die in peace when we wish to.

 

[plastic]

Strangling or hanging is, in my experience, a relatively simple method because you pass out very quickly or rather you fall asleep and all discomfort disappears. What you feel after passing out is like a stuck moment "dream" that impulsively repeats and slowly fades. Probably when it disappears then death occurs.