Discussion Stress From Silence On Texts

[MonochromeMind]

I very often get stressed when texting people, then they're just silent. Like, I know they're probably just busy, but then my mind rushes to every possible horrible scenario, involving them, or me. I know it's all just noise, but it's like I can't focus properly until they come back and say something. That's one reason I don't have any more friends, because whenever there's even a few minutes of silence, I worry I did something wrong, or something is going to happen to them or me. I don't know, I've just been extremely paranoid lately. Time is moving so slow and I just feel like something is coming for me. I feel like my days are numbered. It's never lasted this long. I feel a little unstable. I don't have any of my usual motivations. I feel like I'm falling and like I can't focus. My stomach still fucking hurts. I just can't calm down. Idk. Rambling.

 

[Unlucky777]

Have you tried calling them? How would it feel if you called instead of texting?

 

[MonochromeMind]

Have you tried calling them? How would it feel if you called instead of texting?

Calling just makes me really awkward. I feel better texting. I can think about my thoughts before I say them, but also, without overthinking too much and not saying anything at all. I just hate the silence. Idk. I'm just super paranoid rn.

 

[sulvumnolo]

Not sure if this is helpful. But look up anxious attachment style. I have the same issue. A lot of times having meta conversations with the person helps. So they know how you feel.

 

[hurb]

i had this same issue , my solution was too push everyone away and keep only the people extremely close to me. so that im sure they will put as much love and care in the conversation as me; Well at least in the past cause now i got no one

 

[MonochromeMind]

Not sure if this is helpful. But look up anxious attachment style. I have the same issue. A lot of times having meta conversations with the person helps. So they know how you feel.

Through only a little bit of research on my end so far, this sounds exactly what I'm going through.

i had this same issue , my solution was too push everyone away and keep only the people extremely close to me. so that im sure they will put as much love and care in the conversation as me; Well at least in the past cause now i got no one

This is pretty much what happened to me unfortunately.

 

[Unlucky777]

Calling just makes me really awkward. I feel better texting. I can think about my thoughts before I say them, but also, without overthinking too much and not saying anything at all. I just hate the silence. Idk. I'm just super paranoid rn.

I feel you, I don't like talking on the phone either. My sister is constantly on the phone with the same people EVERY DAY and it bugs me because I wish I was like that. I wish I COULD do what she does but at the same time I don't want to waste my time on the phone with people. I just say what I got to say and hang up.

 

[SuicidalCurryBoy]

Yeah.

Same.

The thing is. I didn't used to have a problem with it till recently. And now I keep thinking they hate me or I did something wrong.

But the sad truth is, you're just not a priority in their life, or they're busy. And I think that's worse...

Specially if you don't text them often. AND if you don't really have anyone to text to.

 

[MonochromeMind]

AND if you don't really have anyone to text to.

The weird thing is, when I have NOBODY in my life that pays attention to me? I feel calmer? Like, I don't have to deal with the stress of them being involved with me, in any way. No guilt or responsibilities.
But then when I finally talk to someone, I pour my heart into them, and immediately regret it, and cut them off.
Every
Single
Time.
Idk. I'm just terrified of connections or messing up. It's easier being alone.

 

[kufajoy]

Same
I uninstalled social media long ago. Ig my problem is I'm so bad with people, I always push people away that I always feel I did something wrong again, they will leave me, thinking I'm annoying, sometimes I try to be too friendly too just so they don't leave me now that I have no connection, it solved.

 

[GodzillasBiggestFan]

this happens to me i feel very stressed when people dont answer my messages. i know i have a hard time messaging people back when im feeling very depressed so i try to remember that maybe they are also just having a hard time. its hard sometimes though if i see that they are hanging out with others and that does seem to happen a lot. but mostly i just try to think what else reason they could have. or try to text someone else.

 

[MonochromeMind]

Same
I uninstalled social media long ago. Ig my problem is I'm so bad with people, I always push people away that I always feel I did something wrong again, they will leave me, thinking I'm annoying, sometimes I try to be too friendly too just so they don't leave me now that I have no connection, it solved.

Exact same here

 

[fallen.dove]

i feel u, i had the same issue tho:< i spent hours learning about anxious attachment and i figured out how to stay calm in these situations. u can listen to some podcasts etc. i hope this helps

 

[MonochromeMind]

i feel u, i had the same issue tho:< i spent hours learning about anxious attachment and i figured out how to stay calm in these situations. u can listen to some podcasts etc. i hope this helps

Drawing, this website, and listening to music help a bit, thank you <3

 

[webb&flow]

The weird thing is, when I have NOBODY in my life that pays attention to me? I feel calmer? Like, I don't have to deal with the stress of them being involved with me, in any way. No guilt or responsibilities.
But then when I finally talk to someone, I pour my heart into them, and immediately regret it, and cut them off.
Every
Single
Time.
Idk. I'm just terrified of connections or messing up. It's easier being alone.

Do you feel it may be an attachment style? <3

This is a video from Ruri Ohama; she has experienced both anxious and avoidant attachment styles, and she breaks down how different attachment styles interact among themselves and each other, as well as the avenues for even changing them as well!



@fallen.dove i hope this will help as well <3