Help [Story] What's happening? I'm worried. If you read ty.

[raindrops]

Earlier today I was on a video call with my partner... a lot has happened and now we're finally doing really well, really happy, lots of time spent together and lots of space too, theres a good balance, although I do wish to live together. I love him, I've spent so much on him for christmas too, I adore him, I want to give him the world! Anyway... you get it...

Please if you read and have some idea I would be grateful I feel alone with my annoying thoughts.
This post I'm making is sort of technical too, so I wonder if anyone has answers or a reasonable idea...
because I'm overthinking, I'm crying my eyes out, I feel sick, worried, confused... I don't know what to do.

So... we was video calling (whatsapp) it was lovely chatting, smiling, all loving and then all of a sudden the video paused and abruptly, the call ended. I tried calling back and he said in message...
"ahhhhh my phone died ;<( ffs sorry ill ring back in a min when its got some charge, ill go in shower now baby
i love you lots and lots and zazilllions sorry for just cutting off like that XD
xxxxxxxxxx"
this is at 18:23pm and btw he cut off at 18:22pm
How does the phone turn on that quick?
Arghh I'm so confused.

Hours have passed and still no call back, even at 9:30pm I sent a message to remind him its half 9 so that means injection, he's diabetic i always remind him and sometimes he is sleeping so cant get back, but i called and called and called....and called. no answer. then i saw him come online (whatsapp) it blinked on, then off, like he quickly looked and shut the app. he said his phone died but whatsapp have a warning message "battery low charge now to avoid disconnection" this is something that always happens, at 15% whatsapp warns this to both in the video call... that message didn't come up, yet he said his phone died.
so i checked Steam (a gaming platform) it said he was away, which means he hasn't opened Steam in 20+ minutes
okay, i say, so he's not at the computer i think...
then i check Discord... "Online" he was online. you see after 5-10 mins apparently Discord will set you to "Idle" not "Online"
how was he online on Discord? Away on Steam? Battery died, yet no warning, checked my messages only to go off whatsapp quickly.
I'm panicking, my brain is going mad. The whole abrupt end to the call screams HE'S ON DISCORD WITH HER, HE MUST BE?!! Is he? It's going so well between us, like really cute we have planned to see friends Monday. She lives in Poland, we in the UK, he's bought me xmas gifts, his mum asked what i would like, i stay round his house (grandparents) im close to all of these people and have built a better relationship with them all in the past few weeks, better than the last 11 years together. Am I overthinking it? But how, all of the things I've stated here, just how is he asleep, if he checked whatsapp, online on discord, said battery died yet no warning, oh and before the call ended the video paused 1 sec then boom, call ended.

Now I'm thinking wow, will ctb really be my way out of suffering, all of the love and affection i have for this person, could he really of answered a call to her? im watching discord rn like a hawk. waiting for the idle symbol, yet idle comes up after 15 mins, hes been online 4+ hours now, idle would of been set already. How do these platforms work, what should i think...............................

 

[Ardesevent]

Calm down and ask him about it when you talk to him next time. You can use discord from your computer, he might have just been on it while he was waiting for his phone to recharge.

 

[raindrops]

He always wakes up around 11pm or midnight, its 00:22 now....
something isnt right, or is that just me, he always calls back, tired from waking up.
I can't sleep or eat, it's different, unsual.

Calm down and ask him about it when you talk to him next time. You can use discord from your computer, he might have just been on it while he was waiting for his phone to recharge.

yes but lets say thats the case here, the pc would go to screensaver. how would it still show online?

 

[Mm80]

Do you trust him to be faithful. Never mind her do you trust him ?

 

[raindrops]

and the whole battery died thing but no battery low warning from whatsapp...
checking whatsapp to not message or call back, he always does, this is a first.
i cant stop crying, i waited for a call... he saw my messages.
im so ready to die. maybe im overreacting

 

[signifying nothing]

According to this link you can manually change your status in discord, so he might have set it to appear he is online, but not actually be online:

Changing online status in discord

Hope this helps.

 

[raindrops]

Do you trust him to be faithful. Never mind her do you trust him ?

I went to work, come home and he had gone on March 7th.
Its like i have PTSD, this fear, no trust, worry. I feel trust needs to be proven, I trusted he would come home that day.
simple things like saying "i'll call back" and when you dont it adds to that fear.
I trust him, if only you could see how we are together, after 11 years I can trust him, its just fear.
That message I put in the post is an exact copy, my brain is saying the message seemed off and he always calls back, really he does.
I'm sure things are fine, its just that fear, its like shock. I have trust, but paranoid after everything.

 

[Mm80]

I went to work, come home and he had gone on March 7th.
Its like i have PTSD, this fear, no trust, worry. I feel trust needs to be proven, I trusted he would come home that day.
simple things like saying "i'll call back" and when you dont it adds to that fear.
I trust him, that message I put in the post is an exact copy, my brain is saying the message seemed off and he always calls back, really he does.
I'm sure things are fine, its just that fear, its like shock.

Im sorry that your so upset, must be an awful way to feel. I hope you can buikd some trust back x