Story Story time, asking for advice too.

[EmmaQanbana]

Alright so, second post on here since I got accepted (if you don't count my replies to posts here and there).

I have a short story, but one I wanted to share either way. One about someone who I love. (See, in people's case, loved would be the correct term, but, I haven't gotten over it after all these years)

I'm 20 years old, and for a quite the while, I've been on a downward spiral in life, and it all started when I was 14, a little one in late middle school, I had a girlfriend who I cherish and love to this day, but around 2-3 years in our relationship, things went south. Fast. She had her own stresses and I had my own, family, school, etc. Few months later, I had to unfortunately watch as my girlfriend CTB'd on our day (aka our anniversary)

Ever since I lost her, I've felt really fuckin bad lemme tell ya. I had tried to move on, I had tried to forget, but for 3+ years now. She never left my head, and my life in general has taken a serious collapse, its gotten to the point where, even if I did move on from her, my mentality would never be the same and I'd still be dead set on my decision to CTB (pun unintended).

Does anyone have any advice on how I can move on, entirely, not just distract myself, but just move on?

Also sorry, said the story was short but from the looks of it, I lied about that lol.

 

[SexyIncél]

Haha not a long story!

Hmm difficult situation... you were told to stfu all your life, which is cognition-damaging. Less control over your life due to dependence on family/friends who aren't ideal. Trauma of watching your girlfriend ctb, who you went out with as your brain developed during puberty

Upside: you seem pretty strong despite all that!

Doing the opposite of stfu may help. You're well-written & smart. Having fun conversations with people you enjoy/admire could boost your cognition; help you find something beyond the current mundanity

If they're currently hard to find, it might work to start with a decent Rogerian person-centered therapist. Sucks that we sometimes have to pay people for non-dysfunctional conversation

 

[The anhedonic one]

I'm going to be brutally honest here and say that there are some things in life that are almost impossible to move on from.
The love of my life ran away with my so-called best friend around 15 years ago.
I still love her deeply and just can't forget about her.
If you truly love someone then that love will last forever.
So sorry you are going through this.