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finish.me

finish.me

I need you to feel this
Jul 14, 2021
142
this is weird but im at a point where numbness is kind of leaking into every part of me. i'm eating disordered (i binge, restrict, etc) and i'm not sure how much my abuse of food has to do with it but its like a weird level of depression where i feel.. no hunger even when i want to be hungry. i used to savor food during restriction and even when i binge its always, always enjoyable and the flavors/sensations feel good to me, but now i've been like..getting full after one bite, food grosses me out in the morning, i don't want to eat!! and im scared it wont ever comeback because now i really have nothing. theres nothing left to enjoy
 
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domedune

domedune

the stars will aid my escape
Dec 18, 2019
268
I understand how that feels to an extent (I don't have an eating disorder but I'll lose interest in food and go days without eating due to fatigue and social anxiety, or lose interest in other things) and I'm sorry. It seems that loss of appetite is kinda common for depressed people.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,559
I'm sorry you are going through this, I often go through phases where I struggle to eat food and it becomes a hard task, and I have to force myself to eat. In my case it is linked to the way I am feeling. It is not all the time and I do not suffer from an eating disorder though. I understand that it can be an awful feeling to lose hunger. I wish you well.
 
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WinterIsComing

WinterIsComing

Fragile...
May 27, 2019
256
Didn't know it was common for depressed people...
 
domedune

domedune

the stars will aid my escape
Dec 18, 2019
268
Didn't know it was common for depressed people...
I hear depressed people talk about it somewhat often, + doctors will ask you about your appetite when they're reading off the depression questionnaire (in my experience). Although sometimes depressed people will eat a lot and take solace in food so it depends.
 
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Phosphophyllite

Phosphophyllite

3.5
Aug 8, 2021
39
I can relate. Ever since the beginning of the pandemic I frequently undereat to the point I become nauseous, because cooking or even eating can be exhausting. I've lost a lot of weight.
 
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Jumping_realms

Jumping_realms

★☆★ ☠️★☆★
Jul 4, 2021
483
Could it be anything to do with your medications?
 
Dear Agony

Dear Agony

The Void
Jan 24, 2020
296
I don't know if I'd want that to happen to me or not. I've struggled with bulimia for 3 years, and binge eating is the only thing that brings me joy. Feeling that euphoria, tasting everything. And my hunger is also genuine most of the time, I feel intense hunger pains and crave food all day lol
 
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finish.me

finish.me

I need you to feel this
Jul 14, 2021
142
Could it be anything to do with your medications?
i was wondering if anything wouldve been affecting me recently but i'm not on medications, i don't take anything at all lol i havent really seen a doctor in the last two, three years. it's purely a mental change i think..
I don't know if I'd want that to happen to me or not. I've struggled with bulimia for 3 years, and binge eating is the only thing that brings me joy. Feeling that euphoria, tasting everything. And my hunger is also genuine most of the time, I feel intense hunger pains and crave food all day lol
it's..really strange. the ed stuff sucks. i don't purge but from other ed spaces i can tell bulimia is hellish, i'm sorry. but literally like ever since i started noticing this I've been like, on the fence about if i want this or not because if i don't eat or feel the need to eat, i'll lose weight, i'll get to my gw. HOWEVER, food is literally the only thing that makes me happy. so i want to eat and the mental need to eat is there but i have to force it and if i force it i don't enjoy it. i'm still fat, with no reason to be. everything's ruined.
 
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Dear Agony

Dear Agony

The Void
Jan 24, 2020
296
i was wondering if anything wouldve been affecting me recently but i'm not on medications, i don't take anything at all lol i havent really seen a doctor in the last two, three years. it's purely a mental change i think..

it's..really strange. the ed stuff sucks. i don't purge but from other ed spaces i can tell bulimia is hellish, i'm sorry. but literally like ever since i started noticing this I've been like, on the fence about if i want this or not because if i don't eat or feel the need to eat, i'll lose weight, i'll get to my gw. HOWEVER, food is literally the only thing that makes me happy. so i want to eat and the mental need to eat is there but i have to force it and if i force it i don't enjoy it. i'm still fat, with no reason to be. everything's ruined.
I know we have different behaviors, but it's crazy how we have almost the same mentality... Eating is just so good. I wish it didn't feel good honestly, that it was just... whatever. Then I could be as thin as I want to and wouldn't have to go through all this. But yes, purging really sucks and just makes everything worse, I genuinely regret having started it, wish I had just tried harder to stick to restriction. Yes, I get to eat whatever I want to, but I've lost everything in the process.
 
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