Still want to commit even though life is fine

[Rustysoupcan]

Does anyone else have the constant urge to commit suicide, even when life is going well? Like everything in my life is going fine, my depression symptoms are basically gone, yet I still have the urge to hang myself or to OD. I don't know why either. But I kind of hate it. Like I cant actually enjoy life because I'm too obsessed with thinking about how I could end it. The main reason I havent done it is because I have an amazing boyfriend who I don't want to hurt. Sometimes I wish I had never met him so I wouldnt have to feel guilty about dying.

 

[HelloHell]

My depression is never gone, but I get what you mean. I still want to ctb even on good days

 

[Pluto]

Maybe life is 'normal' rather than 'fine'. Average people are pretty miserable, they just dare not admit it.

 

[Seiko]

You've described me. There's nothing inherently wrong with my life. I guess some people are just naturally suicidal? In a way, it's a good thing. If you want to CTB while relatively content—or even "happy"—you know it's a grounded thought and it's not just hormones or angst speaking.

Life is completely voluntary. Almost unnecessary. The "gift" of life is a matter of perception.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think I will be suicidal no matter what. The thoughts have been a part of me for a long time and they are unlikely to ever leave.