I was following your thread prior to making an account here; Very sorry to hear that things didn't go as planned, but glad you're still here (even if you may not feel the same way).
I have several...existential (for lack of a better term) questions for you regarding the attempt, if you don't mind me asking, and if you don't mind answering. I hope you're in a better state of mind, at least for now.
- What was the initial state of unconsciousness like?
- Did you ever feel scared? Or were you in a state of acceptance?
- Did you experience anything unusual or extraordinary?
- Were you ever officially "clinically dead" (stopped heartbeat/breathing)?
- Did it make you more grateful for life, or do you dislike it more now than you did before?
- Do you believe in an afterlife and/or reincarnation?
- Were they aware that this was a CTB attempt, or did they assume it was an overdose?
Thank you for your time, however long it remains. I sincerely hope you find the peace that you're searching for.